Archers thread #169: Denise rocks the boat in more than one way! Will Chris find a message in a cider bottle? Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd have liked to have Harrison's behbe, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @LikeTalkingToLassie and @BrightYellowDaffodil for title inspiration. Is this the end for Denise and John? It does seem odd to introduce John now if he's going to disappear. He has a lovely voice.

Over to you!

I’m imagining a glass walled partition between the two enterprises.

@Bruisername honestly I’ve given up trying to keep track of the progression of Chelsea’s education, training and employment. She is probably actually triplets. (All with the same name; a Horrobin tradition.)

The hair and nail clippings can be incorporated into one of Tom's innovative croissant recipes.

I live in a trendy part of London and for a (very short) time there was a bar on the corner called Bottle and Blade which was exactly that - a hairdresser in the day and a bar at night. It lasted about 2 months I think, it was actually really nice for a drink in the evening but I can’t comment on the hair in the drinks situation - I did like the name though!

In LA, you are given a glass of wine or a beer rather than a coffee or cup of (milky) tea as is customary in salons here. The chat with your hairdresser is more racy as a result and is focused on sex rather than holidays and the weather.

Fallon used to be a bit of an entrepreneur but has just turned into a doormat.

Didn’t Chelsea do all the Victory Rolls for the D Day anniversary celebrations? She and Fallon could focus on the vintage angle - a tea room that’s all 1940s (which I think is how it was before?) and Chelsea to give you a makeover.

Sounds much nicer than the ersatz Scandi nonsense that Borsetshire’s Greatest Entrepreneurs set up.

Our local post office had a hair salon at the back (until the p.o. closed). It was horrible - going in to buy your stamps and your nostrils assailed by all the strong smells of the lotions and potions.

Who’s Pip organising this hen party for? TIA!
And Freddie needs to grow a backbone.

A friend of Lotties? I’m unsure why Stella is invited

I used to live above a pub I worked in, along with a few other family members and other assorted friends. Two of the resident staff were jobbing tattooists who didn't have a parlour (they were young not-quite-backpackers from NZ). After the pub closed for the night they would sit up drinking and then tattooing each other or any of the other residents. They were actually pretty hygienic, although obviously some of the results might have been improved by more forethought (and less alcohol)!

Lily is unbearable. Freddie does need to grow a thick skin and he needs to assert his authority. Freddie’s job is to manage these people and if he needs to run to the boss to get him to tell them off then he’s not capable of.

this hen do sounds awful - and no doubt will end up expensive

They wouldn't have been hygienic enough to be licenced by the council. They would need things like a tiled floor and extractor fans. I know someone that did permanent make up and she had to comply with the same rules.

Fallon just needs to say ‘you own the tearoom premises not my private catering business’ and let Natasha sack her if she wants. They need her more than she needs them.

Surely the actual hen do is outside the terums opening hours? Do they have an alcohol licence?

It would be lovely if Freddie and Fallon both grew backbones and told Lily and Natasha to get stuffed.

Lily is being a bit high-risk though, raising Freddie's consciousness around bullying. Once he sees it . . .

Gnasher knocked on the door with her clicky heels.

So Vince is going to talk to the bullies and say what ‘little Freddie is upset you’re being mean, please be nice, it was me who decided to sack the thief and Freddie didn’t want me to - look at the nice food he got you - he just wants to be your friend’

freddie needs Vince to explain that he is their manager, not their friend and he needs to find his balls and treat them as such. Freddie needs to be the one to put Antonio on disciplinary if he oversteps. Otherwise it is Freddie who isn’t up to the job and perhaps needs to go down a rung or two until he can cope with it

quite

@DeanElderberry Lily is being a bit high-risk though, raising Freddie's consciousness around bullying. Once he sees it . . .

Gosh, yes! It amuses me that Lily is turning into her mother, but without the superficial charm.

So is Lily’s Hot Girl Summer going to include applying for the Law Conversion Course? Or the Bar Vocational Course? (Can’t be bothered to look up whatever new names they may have acquired.)

I would actually be pleased - she sounded more engaged yesterday than I’ve ever heard her before. But obviously it would scupper the poetic symmetry of her taking on Caroline’s role and rivalling her brother at the head of a grand house.

If she did take to Law she’d be primed to sweep into Borchester’s swankiest firm (or perhaps chambers in Birmingham?) just as Usha retires.

(Realistically Usha would surely have retired already - Alan can’t be all that expensive to keep in motorcycle oil and humble pie?)

But surely Lily hadn’t got a degree? So nothing to convert?

Lily would make a perfect HR manager…

I am assuming she will eventually finish the degree she’s currently studying for, @SlenderRations. Just as with Chelsea I’ve given up trying to understand exactly how much time remains until she gets to the end point.

If Lily really think threatening your boss with litigation when you haven't got employment security is the way to sort out a problem at work, she really is a twat.

Lily seems to be a triumph of know-it-all self-confidence over actual ability/intelligence. The best she can hope for is to get a junior estate-management job on a property with a 30-something nice-but-dim heir and entice him into marriage, thus completing the circle.

Au contraire v.far from perfect, or even adequate, lacking the intuitive common sense and people skills, perhaps a belligerent type of a union rep?

They used the term vicarious liability with all the mystery of opening Pandora’s box, rather than I would have thought fairly commonly understood and fairly self explanatory words. Vince seemed particularly perplexed.