Archers thread #158: Te Rum? You numpty, numpty, Tom! Empty tearoom follows. Christmas coming, farmers’ stand up, will it make us LOL? No! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Tom Archer is a great businessman, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @LillianGish for the title idea, which may plant an earworm if my scansion just about holds up. @BeatriceBatchelor wanted 'plebby coffee' inserted in reference to my Bolivian coffee anecdote on the last thread, so I'll mention it here instead. Here's hoping Fallon and Emma decamp to the charging station or Grey Gables, or both, to run the type of coffee shop/tearoom people actually enjoy spending time in. Tom's cauliflower eclairs and kale criossants approach sounds more likely to drive the casual trade away from the farm shop and cheese window as well as the Google Translate-named Te Rum.

Feeling very uninspired by TA at the moment, so I have nothing more to say for now. Over to you!

(I assumed Emma was discouraging Chris out of somewhat rueful envy, since there were no Christmas ponies in George or Keira’s early lives. Other than Bartleby.)

Unless Chris is going to foot all the cost and do all the care himself, he needs to talk to Alice.

I woke up to the Today programme and thought 'he sounds just like Sykesy ... nah, not everyone with a W Mids accent sounds like him ... uh, that is Jasper Carrott...'

Why was David buying Freddie a drink ?

All that rubbish David spouted about Freddie going beyond the call of duty.

Freddie should have been buying David a drink in compensation for the cock up. And stress caused to David re the missing meat and the time David was having to wait for Freddie to sort it out.

If Chris buys that poney without asking/telling Alice he is asking for problems.

It would be wrong to give any animal as a present without consultation but, apart from that, they have all grown up around horses and have the space snd the knowledge to care for it. It shouldn't be such a problem but it will be because ... drama. Maybe Alice will secretly get Martha a pony too, without discussing it, and she'll have two ponies on Christmas morning.

Why was David buying Freddie a drink ?

Because he loves him? I would have bought my nephew a drink in those circumstances, if pubs were part of our daily shared lives. (I don’t like my niblings to be needlessly unhappy, and I want to be remembered with fondness when I’m gone … )

Not seeing the problem with keeping the pony? So much money and land and horsey expertise available for anything to do with Martha - plus countless relatives with a great willingness to make her life wonderful. (Though that may not prevent the SWs wringing pointless drama out of the gift …)

A pet is for life not just for Christmas. Emma bought a puppy for George one Christmas.

they have all grown up around horses and have the space snd the knowledge to care for it.
Chris and Alice do not have land.

Crossed you, @CaptainMyCaptain !

I assume the pony would live at the Stables and Chris would pay the livery fees (no horsey background here, so not sure if that's the right terminology). They must have lots of paddocks, surely.

I'd have bought Freddie a drink too. Poor lad, but it sounds like he's holding his own. I do think he should tell Vince, though.

Another thread nears its end! Title thoughts?

Even if that is his plan he needs to talk to Alice! Parents always ought to discuss with each other about large presents for children they have in common. They also ought to tell aunts and uncles and grandparents if a large present is being got, so that the child doesn't end up being given two trampolines by two people it has told all about how it wants one. (As CaptainMyCaptain has suggested upthread, but I wrote this before I read that.)

I don't think Chris really needs to worry about keeping up with Harry on this one, though it really did sound as if that was in his mind at one point. In what world does someone who has been out with a woman on three dates buy something as huge as a pony for her toddler daughter whom he has never met? I can just see the AIBU about it: "AIBU to be a bit edgy about this? I've known this man for five weeks and we've been on three dates together. Now he's bought my three-year-old a pony for Christmas, and he hasn't ever even seen her. Is this a bit too much too soon?" My bet would be people shouting "red flag!" all over the place.

@gasp, Neigh to Harry, Neigh to the Christmas Pony

Alice and Chris don't have their own land but she has family who do and she runs the stables. The pony's feet would always be well shod.

Just what a single mother wants, a large pet that will cost a lot to maintain.

@ILoveShula - Alice is hardly poor! And the pony can probably eat for free at the stables.

I didn't say she was poor and horse feed isn't free. The money would need to come from somewhere.

I feel a pony for the moppet is a promising thing: think Gone with the Wind, A Handful of Dust, etc. a right bugger to wrap, mind.

I dunno - I’d imagine, for a man who owns horses and inhabits a horsey world, buying a child a Shetland pony would be as natural and effortless as a Savile Row tailor giving their nephew a handmade suit, or the lead singer in a band taking his new girlfriend’s children backstage at a stadium gig. It’s all relative.

A handmade suit does not have costs like livery and vet's bills.

She’d need to be 17 (age at which you were liable to directed labour according to my Mum who was subject to it) by 1950 (end of WLA) so born in 1933 or earlier, so 90 rather than 101. And she is over 90, is she not?

Stella wasn’t unwitting, she simply felt her right to “say it like it is” was more important than someone else’s feelings.

Freddie’s being naive if he really thinks it’s because he’s “last one in” and not because he’s the boss’s girlfriend’s son and a posh twat to boot.

Realistically, there’s not much he can do apart from walk away from the job.

Jill was born on 30th October 1930 according to all the sources I can find.

There is a word for those who needlessly "tell it like there is" in order to upset people. They are called "friendless".

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime, not the word I was thinking.

Might someone sum up what’s happened to Freddie in the last episode or two, to which I haven’t yet listened?

Im very unwell at the moment and don’t really want to listen to things that will just make me sadder so yes, I am hoping to shamelessly vet my listening first

fhank you

Chris doesn't own horses. He doesn't even ride, as far as we know. He's around horsey people, granted, but he'd be giving Martha a present which would create work and effort for Alice which she may not want to take on, and she may feel it's too soon for Martha to start riding. It would be very likely indeed for Martha to be behind on some or all of her milestones because she was premature and because of Alice's drinking during the pregnancy. Admittedly, we've not heard a word about any of that so far.