Archers thread #154: Cider with Fat Rosie, Meadow Rise to Candleford or The Darling Horrobins of September? Get your rural saga fix – Discuss The Archers here!

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd be euphoric about getting a job in an abattoir, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4888492-the-archers-spoilers-thread-8-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for the thread title suggestions. @HumanWetWipe came up with Cider with Fat Rosie and @BeardieWeirdie thought up Meadow Rise to Candleford. I wish I could have put in the Line of Duty mashups from the end of the last thread. Another time.

Heading for a ferry shortly, so nothing more from me for now. Over to you!

In what way is Natasha trying to do the right thing even for herself? Genuine question.

The tea-room is fine as it is and she clearly doesn't actually want it, since she is planning to farm it out to a manager, so why is taking it away from the person who has made a success of it (and therefore brings in income to the farm in rent, plus probably footfall/custom of people who wouldn't bother for the farm-shop, don't care to see yoghurt being made, but find shopping there if they can have a cuppa at the same time to be worth the trek up the muddy lane to get to Bridge Farm) the right thing to do? She has involved BF in a lot of expense (revamping, at least two salaries) that they didn't have before, with no guarantee they will recoup that expenditure by raising prices in the caff and going upmarket to being a "destination coffee" place, thus no doubt alienating the existing customers but probably not pulling in new ones. A mention in a colour supplement won't cut it: it may be remembered for a week, but very likely won't even get that much attention in a list of "ten best" spacefiller. So what is in it for her, apart from a power-trip?

No idea, but with Grey Gables and Spiritual Home, there is a possibility that they would get some custom.

I would have thought that somewhere with a cosy vintage feel, a bit of shabby-chic bric-a-brac, and 'home-made' style cakes would be a lot more appealing though, and that customers who'd seek it out would probably pop in to the farm shop or stop to look through the big window.

I don't think I'd want to visit a nordic refectory-style organic eatery without there being some selling point. If I had a favourite cake, I could make an excuse to go to an off-the-beaten-track cafe, if the quality was far beyond anywhere else.

I'd have thought that something like a specialist garden centre or petting farm would be more obvious choices.

The high end farm shop near me is big but not organic, with a good selection of organic and local meat, game and produce, there's a cafe and a small selection of plants. They sometimes have some sort of tasteful attraction/event in the grounds. people make a point of going there.

I think Natasha thinks Bridge Farm will get much more money out of it than they would from Fallon's rent. She's talked of increasing the number of tables by removing the upcycled furniture, and I think she thinks it can become a 'destination' - which could enable them to charge more than Fallon would as I think Fallon pitches it very much as a local place.
Whether or not Natasha is right about this or not is quite another thing and I agree all the refurbishing plus 2 salaries will be huge outgoings. But I think Natasha believes she is doing the right thing by trying to maximise the money they can make from the cafe.
Money being Natasha's main priority most of the time...

I think they'll decline Fallon's request because of the bonus. I hope they do because Fallon has forgotten to factor in that TomnTash are not dependable and could get rid of her on a whim in the first two years.

Poor Emma but she has no managerial experience and very little qualifications.

I so agree. It's not as if they had to take it over to do all the stuff around promoting Bridge Farm products - Fallon had already come up with similar ideas herself, so she's obviously totally open to that sort of thing. It's likely that if they had renewed the lease they could also have factored in getting Fallon to take the upcycling business elsewhere and updating everything a bit. They're now taking on all the hassle and liabilities of managing the café including dealing with NI, tax, hygiene requirements etc, and I didn't hear any mention of them having looked into TUPE obligations. The whole thing is just bonkers.

I totally agree with everything you say @AskingQuestionsAllTheTime , but I don't think Natasha would! She's seeing pound signs.

I do hope Fallon is making them pay a good price for the ovens, fridges, tills etc.

I'd rather she took them all out and stored them in a shed at the bottom of her garden or at The Bull, so that Tomtasha have to pay for new ones, which won't be cheap. That way she will be able to start up her own place at The Bull in due course. That will be much more convenient for anyone in the village, and I hope will make the Bridge Farm Coffee Destination go bust in short order.

They already do payroll so I don’t think adding another two will be a problem.

tash seemed quite taken aback that fallon didn’t just sign the contract so I can quite see her approaching Emma once she sees the email

@Bruisername , there's the salaries and bonus to consider. From my in-depth research, that would be about £50K+ p.a. The share of the profit will be £0.00 p.a. because it won't make a profit.

Yes sure but I mean they already do a payroll so the admin around it won’t be new to them

as for profit related bonus - very easy to get around depending on your definition of profit

Natasha is crazy! Outlays could easily rack up to £100k for a full refurb inc new skylights/booths/tables and chairs etc and that’s without the kitchen equipment. And salaries! How many organic cream teas will they have to sell for the next 10 years before they start to turn a profit! I don’t think Pat and Tony will be happy with this level of spending. It feels like they aren’t really across the detail of this expansion plan…

Also, the market research that commented that the farm shop looked a mess - tash will be wanting to refurb there aswell if she finds out!

The payroll admin would probably be negligible. Even if Bridge Fresh and Summer orchard rely on sub-contactors, Tom and Tash will be on a payroll somewhere.

Have they run the idea past PatnTony?

we heard them run it past Helen and Pat and say they would talk to fallon. At no point was a business plan discussed

Well, we do know that Natasha has form for extravagance. The rest of the family may be about to learn about that the hard way.

I'm really hoping that this is a way of reintroducing the abandoned storyline of Natasha's extravagant spending. I'm looking forward to seeing the back of her arrogance.

Ooh, Natasha’s getting on my tits. So dismissive of Fallon’s negotiations (“We had something more informal in mind” which makes me think of the new Mrs Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility talking her husband down from regular financial contributions to his mother/sisters to the occasional bit of moral support…) and equally dismissive of Fallon’s business (“Well it’s ours now!”).

Going high end and organic means some fairly big hikes in prices, which means a fall off in regular customers who won’t be able to justify the new Scandi Cafe’s prices.

She really hadn’t thought this through in her quest to be Borsetshire’s Business Hotshot, has she?

I was surprised that Fallon was keen on a profit-related bonus plan given she was understandably doubtful about the merits of Natasha’s new policies about high-end/organic etc. I’d have thought the worst thing for a manager would be to take on responsibility for making the owner’s daft ideas profitable.

In the conversation between Natasha, Pat, and Helen, it was agreed that Natasha and Tom would:

• try to keep both Fallon and Emma on (so her offering to Fallon to keep Emma as though it were an afterthought was completely bizarre)

• talk to Fallon and make sure she was on board

• crucially, go away and do proper costings and come back with full details of the financial implications

They have now jumped straight into offering contracts and measuring for furniture. Unless there's been another family meeting off air, I hope this impetuosity and bloody cheeky cheeky and irresponsible spending of other people's money comes back to bite them. And also that they get roundly bollocked for it by Helen, Pat, and Tony.

Presumably the basic salary package is already good, so if the bonus is literally just a bonus on top of that (rather than performance-related pay) then she might as well have it. If there's no profit then she hasn't lost anything.

I find Natasha & Tom even more annoying than Pip tbh.

Natasha's voice really grates on me. They are so money grabbing (the photography shenanigans with the children). I predict that they fall flat on their faces & Natasher will put all the refit costs onto her credit card. Maybe she'll do a runner leaving Tom holding the babies.
I definitely see Fallon & Emmur going into battle....

Rock cakes at dawn!

Natasha and Tom are good characters, though and I don’t think the acting is bad. Yes they are unlikeable but they have their moments of showing care etc. ultimately you can believe in them doing this so cack handedly.

pip is a terribly written character and I think the actor isn’t suited to radio (sorry!)

I wasn’t here for the Natasha spending sl - what was she spending wildly on?

Not really sure it was mentioned other than “shopping sprees” @Bruisername
When she and Tom were considering buying property, it came out that she had some credit card debt. I don’t think it’s been mentioned since.

Oh ok - maybe the intro to a slow burn sl then!

did they have a very extravagant wedding?