🐠 Archers thread #135: An Everyday Story of Fishy Folk. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you would be delighted to be given a goldfish named after your ex, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Apologies for ignoring the various title suggestions on the last thread. However, here they are, plus a couple of other pithy observations, to kickstart the new thread. I think it's fair to say nobody is looking on this as a Golden Era! Goldfish Era, though ...

@Roysnewshirt: Everyone wants more! Chris wants more Amy; Jazzer wants more Tracey; Alice wants more time with Martha and Amy wants more space… Very true. And now we know Kirsty wants more farming expertise in the rewilding project, but not Pip (thank the lord) so does that mean approaching Adam? Currently under-employed.

@LillianGish: I tune in to hear birdsong and bleating in the English countryside not hammy acting and suggestive grunting.

@stilldumdedumming: Archers is good at the dynamics of family, farming, what it means to have your job, your home and your inheritance so closely aligned etc etc not this nonsense!

@DoctorTwo: Like fuck would Pheobe buy her parents a goldfish each. The Ambridge character transplant fairy has been working overtime this past few weeks, it's been absolutely fucking appalling bar a couple of exceptions.

Can't disagree with any of that. I want to hear more about the pigs and any other effects of Brexit. A topical insert about the war in Ukraine must surely be on the way.

Any happy listeners out there? Any disgruntled listeners with even more grumbles? Over to you!

@BoreOfWhabylon

🔮 says Ruariariiii will be doing Bitcoin or similar, he will make millions and buy back the ancestral home.

Yes, I think it's Bitcoin rather than anything illegally dodgy.

IME family law solicitors don't act as agony aunts, and probably don't invite clients who haven't got an appointment into their office. I can't believe they would advise a client to not get a job, would they? And the documents would just be handed in at the desk.

I presume the solicitors time was billable...

What about 50-50 for Alice and Chris?

Yes, that whole solicitor’s appointment didn’t ring true at all, but IANAL.

That’s an unfortunate acronym @SparklingLime!
I think Alice is mad to try and play dirty raising “my dumped husband had a ONS” after she has failed her daughter in so many ways.

What a nasty piece of work Alice is.

"Farming my baby out to relatives". What a way to describe Neil and Susan.

I can only hope she is being set up for a huge fall.

I agree with 50/50 @TheSilveryTinsellyPussycat

I presume they're trying to show how even an amicable divorce creates hostility but honestly they just need to sit down with a cup of tea and talk.

If Chris hadn't pushed for parental control, Alice wouldn't have pushed for custody. I can't believe that nobody close to either has suggested shared parental responsibility and shared custody, or that they aren't considering this themselves. Surely they could arrange custody around both of them working. They don't need a war they need a timetable.

I wonder how Brian will feel about Alice not working?

All too ridiculous for words. I don't believe Ruari is getting rich with cryptocurrency, though that would be my preferred outcome.

Beyond ridiculous. So Alice can just start lecturing, just like that This "anyone can teach" pisses me off no end.

Agree that Brian will not be thrilled about Alice not working. As part of a custody settlement, how can this be significant, as it can change at a moment's notice, then suddenly she's not a SAHM, and one who'd be snatching the arm off any offer farming out her PFB, sorry free childcare.

Just caught up with three episodes at once. Bye, Amy, don't hurry back.

Alice's decision to be a SAHM at least until the court case is decided seems extremely odd to me. I was a SAHM for years and years in the 1990s, but that was a considered decision made before our first child was born, after my husband and I had had a long talk about it and agreed that was what we both wanted, and of course after we'd done the sums. I have no regrets about it at all, but it put the kybosh on my original career, to which I never returned.

Young women nowadays are far more savvy about these things and I really wouldn't expect someone as highly qualified as Alice to make a similar decision these days. As she's already had a long break from her original profession she should surely be looking at getting her career back on track. Now she's in her 30s she might also have pension planning at the back of her mind.

Also, going back to my case, if my marriage had failed I would have expected to have to get a job, as long as I could have found something that paid enough to make it worthwhile after paying for childcare. Two households are inevitably going to cost a lot more to run than one and thus two incomes, or substantial state support from the benefits system, are going to be needed, surely. Won't the courts look more favourably on a parent who has a plan to be self-supporting and set a good example in that regard to her child?

Bloody hell, Roisin is from the Amy Franks school of acting isn’t she.

The lawyer was barmy! That was terrible advice. And when she said 'it comes down to what's best for you' I was like eh?? No it comes down to what's best for Martha...

@BowerOfBramble

Bloody hell, Roisin is from the Amy Franks school of acting isn’t she.

Yes. I-am-reading-from-a-script-one-word-at-a-time.

Alice and Roisin have annoyed me to such an extent that I now want Martha to remain with Chris and for Alice to end up on a bar stool in Borchester.

Roison is encouraging Alice to manipulate the situation to her own end and not to seek a conciliatory outcome in Martha’s best interest. She is the type of solicitor who gives family lawyers a bad name.

@BowerOfBramble

Bloody hell, Roisin is from the Amy Franks school of acting isn’t she.

It was dreadful, wasn't it, and Alice was doing the same at various points. Is it easier for us to spot than the director (who presumably watches as well as listens)?

With so much at stake I find it unbelievable that Brian or Jenny wouldn't accompany their angry daughter to talk to the solicitor.

Surely 50/50 is the best Alice can hope for since Chris has been the resident parent so far at her behest? This hasn’t even been mentioned, but as they practically live next door to each other it wouldn’t even be that onerous (Martha will soon be old enough to walk round on her own!) Also, flagging up the possibility of Chris moving away seemed a bit of a red herring since the very nature of his business means he can’t move away - it is literally forged in and welded to Ambridge (much like Chris himself).He’s not going anywhere - though Alice may need to if she wants to spread her wings in aeronautical engineering. Surely that should be where the drama lies - in the slow and dawning realisation that 50/50 with Chris means she can never leave Ambridge?

Ruari is doing Only Fans (I presume men can do this?)

Alice's as long as I win...humph!
Yes the Archers style drama would say she realised she can't leave Albridge. The EE style is that she gets custody, gets bored and lonely, and starts drinking. How long do these things normally take?

It's all me,me,me with Alice. She has no self- awareness.

With Ruari all that need happen is that they are polite to each other in front of Jenny. Ruari does that and seemed genuinely pleased to see Martha. But that's not good enough for Alice - because she's really, really sorreee, and it's soooo unfair and why can't we play happy families.

Ruari will be away from Ambridge most of the time- she's there permanently. It wouldn't kill her to give Ruari and Jenny space when he's there.

As for her reaction to Chris- she ended the marriage but he's expected to be happy with occasionally seeing Martha when the best mother in the world graciously allows it. And he'd better not think about another relationship because that would be sooo awful for poor Alice to see

Who is paying for Alice to sit around being the perfect stay at home mother? She can't be on maternity pay as she's been offered another job. Is Chris expected to pay for this?

Charlotte Higgins in The Guardian - on the divorce prospects …

What bilge last night’s episode was. I despise these plot driven storylines

I don’t know whether the director watches as well but they ought to be listening primarily! Utterly turgid acting. When I think of all the amazing actors out there who can’t get work…

Stella seems to have developed a strange Essex twang. I’m sure she didn’t used to speak like that

@Jollysexrennovator

I reckon R is doing escort work, or has himself a generous sugar daddy.

I am with you on this. I think he's a Rent Boy.

@Roysnewshirt

Stella seems to have developed a strange Essex twang. I’m sure she didn’t used to speak like that

The actor, Lucy Speed, used to be in Eastenders.

I always find Lizzie and Vince interactions queasy and unconvincing.

Ah, so Stella is Natalie, @HellynaHandcart.

@KimikosNightmare

What a nasty piece of work Alice is.

"Farming my baby out to relatives". What a way to describe Neil and Susan.

I can only hope she is being set up for a huge fall.

Absolutely. And what a nasty way to describe the actions of a man literally left holding the baby when she was permanently drunk and incapable, and subsequently when she was in rehab.

Who is paying for Alice to sit around being the perfect stay at home mother? She can't be on maternity pay as she's been offered another job. Is Chris expected to pay for this?

Mostly Brine, I suspect. I do hope he puts his foot down and says no. Apart from anything else, it's a hell of a waste of the fortune he coughed up for her education.