🎲 Archers thread #134: Ambridge as human board game. We’ve had Pandemic. What now - Game of Life or Trivial Pursuit? Go! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you warm to Hazel Woolley, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @LiterallyKnowsBest for the thread title idea. I also liked @LillianGish's suggestion which was Conversions abound and it’s not just Harrison - Lily’s kitchens, Hazel’s flat, Jazzer’s finances, Bert’s bungalow...come and discuss The Archers - are you a convert or could you be converted? and that seems like a good place to kick off this thread.

Who'll get the bungalow? Pip, Josh or A. N. Other?

Will Lily leave the cold calling behind and launch a bid to run LL when Elizabeth hangs up her clipboard?

Will Jazzer become a financial whiz after mastering Tracy's state of the art budgeting techniques, viz, writing it all down in a little notebook with a kitten on the front?

Over to you!

Fair point. My parents (in Scotland) woke to snow on the ground a few days ago. (Gone by lunchtime.) We had hail the other day, and a few claps of thunder.

It's always colder by the river! And this is the time of year we've been having a lot of snow and frosts the last few years

It's lovely by the canal here in Derbyshire. I'm just waiting for the first ducklings.

awwww @CaptainMyCaptain pics when they arrive please

Any idea of WTF is the point of this Kirsty "storyline"?

Any idea why Phoebe suddenly seemed to have taken on the voice and "personality" of Pip last night?

Despite the painfully implausible permanent private mooring granted by the Ambridge fairy, I for one am very pleased to see more Ambridge residents of my generation taking up alternative housing. We have Ed and Emma in the caravan too! It's a sorry state of affairs but it does reflect reality at least.

I know plenty of people of my age (mid who have lived in vans, caravans and boats and a few who still do. Mainly NHS staff, 2 midwives, a Juniour doctor, a mental health nurse. Several teachers too. Most now have moved onto to owning property, but I know a couple of people still in vans and many more still on boats. Three gardeners I know in London live on boats. Whilst alternative accommodation is mainly a resort younger millennials have had to resort to, they're not alone. A uni friend of mine's dad ended up living in his van for a while until family stepped in and provided help.

Living on a van or boat isn't as bleak as it sounds however. For the most part that I've seen they are very beautifully crafted micro homes with bespoke furniture. The inhabitants live in a community but have their own space, naturally tend to significantly more eco conscious life styles. It's sad that in order to a nurse in reach of their inner city hospital job they are driven to this, but it is a lot more common nowadays IME, and likely to get worse.

I know two people who have lived in narrow boats but now own houses. One in Nottingham and one in Sheffield. Neither mentioned being cold. The one in Sheffield wasn't supposed to live in it permanently but did. There was a gym near where he moored and he used it for showers but the one in Nottingham had a shower on board. They both had porta potti type toilets. I don't know where Rex will empty his but where there are residential moorings there is usually a disposal point.

As a former narrowboat owner I have a number of questions about this not least how did the boat get there?

The completely implausible mooring - you can't just rock up and moor anywhere - most of all on rivers. As there don't seem to be public moorings on the Am, then it must be on private land, who owns the land? Does the Am run through the Lower Loxley estate or the rewilding area?

How did it get there? The boat's presence suggests the Am is navigable and links to another canal or navigable river. If that were the case you'd expect a lot more boats up and down and that someone would have mentioned them. It also suggests it is not massively conducive to quiet and peaceful swimming (although I know people do swim in the Thames). If the boat didn't get there under its own steam then it would have to be craned in vvv expensive.

Cost, boat prices have shot up over the past couple of years and now even a 35 footer (probably just big enough for 1 person to live on) will be over £20k unless it is a complete leaky wreck. Then you need a Canal and River Trust license between £381 and £571 depending on whether it is just rivers or rivers and canals (see above). As with a car, you can't get a license without insurance and a boat safety certificate which are probably another £1000 ish per year. The insurance company might not even consider it if it is not a designated mooring site - especially on a river. You then gave to add in gas for cooking, diesel, engine maintenance, heating etc. It is cheaper than buying and running a house but where gas Rex got the upfront capital?

Then there is maintenance, not least weatherproofing, hull blacking (for which you need dry dock).

Lastly, what about water and the loo? You need to fill the tank with water and the loo will be chemical, either a pump out for which you will need facilities (see above about being connected to a navigable waterway), or it will be a portaloo and he'll need somewhere to empty it, you can't just chuck it down the compost toilets at the rewilding site.

Do you think one of the SWs cycles to work past Little Venice every morning and got ideas?

Aren't the scriptwriters based in Brum which is absolutely thick with canals.

The people I know who live in houseboats because they don't earn much are "continuous cruisers" or something which means they have to keep moving along. Fine for them but hardly going to work well with a load of pigs.

Boats along my stretch of canal range from the hobby boaters with immaculate restorations to the unlicenced sinking wrecks. We used to have winter moorings (from November to Easter), but they dropped that for some reason and everyone is supposed to shift every fortnight.

Oh how the Ambridge villagers must have cheered when Rex's party boat moored up. The pictorial maps of Ambridge I've seen make it look doubtful that a narrowboat would fit under the bridges. Certainly not at this time of year.
www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/archers/wallpaper/panorama_1024.shtml

It's definitely highly implausible but I don't think they said it was a narrow boat. My friend lived on a 21 foot boat with a fibreglass bottom.

I'm sure I've seen camping toilets that are like massive Tupperware with seats and a lid. Though I assume he'd try and go at work wherever possible.

The completely implausible mooring - you can't just rock up and moor anywhere - most of all on rivers. As there don't seem to be public moorings on the Am, then it must be on private land, who owns the land? Does the Am run through the Lower Loxley estate or the rewilding area?

No-one suggested Rex did just moor where he fancied - he said it was a legitimate berth, :all legal and above board" and that he had bought the boat down from the boatyard that day. Equally I don't think anyone has ever said that the Am wasn't navigable. If it's a legitimate mooring it's reasonable to assume there is some sort of facility for dealing with loos.

So far as finances go, if Rex has been leaving rent free he probably had at least some savings given that he's been working three jobs, and he said he had got quite a hefty loan.

I see that most people are focusing on the practicalities of Rex living on this houseboat.

All I could think about was how many people would be interested in staying for his party on the towpath in February. Didn't Tracey comment that it was freezing on the way to the pub.

I said that earlier @CarlaH but apparently I'm an outlier in not wanting to loiter on chilly February towpaths especially when I'd been led to expect I'd be inside!

@BowerOfBramble

I said that earlier *@CarlaH* but apparently I'm an outlier in not wanting to loiter on chilly February towpaths especially when I'd been led to expect I'd be inside!

Sorry I didn't notice you have already mentioned it.

oh not at all - I'm just saying like you and Roy, I'd have sodded off home

Did they stay outside or did any of them go inside the boat? In any case people party outside on bonfire night so an outdoor party is not totally out of the question. Maybe I just have a more outdoor lifestyle.

oh not at all - I'm just saying like you and Roy, I'd have sodded off home

I would have asked for a quick tour, wished him all the best in his new home, and then headed straight back to the pub.

They couldn't go inside the boat as it was too small and messy.

I'd be happy outdoors in February but I work outdoors. You'd definitely want to know before you got dressed though, it's all well and good in thermals and salopettes but you'd not be wearing those to a house party.

@suzyscat

They couldn't go inside the boat as it was too small and messy.

I'd be happy outdoors in February but I work outdoors. You'd definitely want to know before you got dressed though, it's all well and good in thermals and salopettes but you'd not be wearing those to a house party.

I think someone said they had been told to wear warm clothes.

I hope Rex would have let them in to use the loo, at the very least. And most of them would take the chance to have a good snoop round.

@EthelTheAardvark

I hope Rex would have let them in to use the loo, at the very least. And most of them would take the chance to have a good snoop round.

Although a portaloo would soon fill up. Bleugghh!

Not portaloo, Portapotti.

If it weren’t for the Am joining the Severn, Tewkesbury wouldn’t see such major floods.

It's all utterly batshit.

I could return to recount the horror canal boat rental my Mum and her sister's families organised in the 80's.

Suffice it to say that one of the boatyard pumps for the loos was set to "blow", rather than "suck".

@suzyscat

It's definitely highly implausible but I don't think they said it was a narrow boat. My friend lived on a 21 foot boat with a fibreglass bottom.

I'm sure I've seen camping toilets that are like massive Tupperware with seats and a lid. Though I assume he'd try and go at work wherever possible.

Definitely a narrow boat.