🧦 Archers thread #133: Woolley socks it to them! Discuss The Archers and its Woolley thinking and plotting here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you would love to take part in the Mysteries, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @ButtonSister and @BorsetshireBanality for title suggestions. I went with their idea in the interests of keeping the title fairly short.

@LillianGish and @FoxgloveSummers made cracking but longer suggestions, which (mashed up) will do a great job of kicking off our new thread.

Evictions (Tom and Tash), depictions (Bridge Farm Christmas card), conniptions (entire cast and crew of the Mysteries), convictions (Philip) and addictions (Alice) - what are our predictions for 2022 in Ambridge? All sure to make this the Best Ambridge Christmas Evah!

This thread should take us through to early January unless something very exciting happens (ha ha, fat chance). My predictions: this is a bit left field, but I wonder if Peggy will offer to buy the shop and flat so Tom and Gnasher (great coinage, whose was it?) can stay put. I don't believe Hazel is sincere about wanting to live in/regularly visit Ambridge. She's always been utterly two-faced and rotten to the core, why would she change now?

The Mysteries will, of course be a triumph and briefly borrowing the🔮 (sorry, Bore!) I expect we are going to hear them at some point over the New Year period.

Over to you!

Why does Hazel sound older than Peggy? I think I'm about the same age but I don't sound so feeble.

Totally agree that yesterday's episode was contrived (and the whole Hazel/flat thing). I cringed at the whole birthday invite thing.

I'm surprised at Peggy going almost sentimental over being Hazel's family. Where is tough-as-old-boots Peggy?

@LillianGish

Hazel has served her purpose - Tom and Natasha would have had to move out of the flat anyway with twins on the way, but Hazel’s intervention has propelled them into the farmhouse. I find everything about her every appearance unbelievable - there is no way in the world Peggy would have invited her to Pat’s rescheduled birthday tea. I would have found it slightly more believable if she had overheard someone talking about her while she lurked behind a shelf in the village shop. Yesterday’s scenario was too contrived for words. The Archers at its worst.

As is often the case, I completely agree with LillianGish here. Dreadful stuff.

So Hazel will now see the shop and flat?
Apply for permission to make a family home from them?

I’ve got a BOOP from Mikes convo with Josh and Pip. When he first raised his voice saying ‘OI’ then something else, he sounded exactly like Roy. They’re believable as father and son, I think, like Susan and Emmur (iyswim).

@TherapistInATabard

I’ve got a BOOP from Mikes convo with Josh and Pip. When he first raised his voice saying ‘OI’ then something else, he sounded exactly like Roy. They’re believable as father and son, I think, like Susan and Emmur (iyswim).

Totally agree!! I actually thought it sounded like the actors had made an effort to sound similar too, like Roy sounded a bit more Mike as well.

@Chemenger

Why does Hazel sound older than Peggy? I think I'm about the same age but I don't sound so feeble.

Is she supposed to be putting it on, pretending she has long Covid? It seems to come and go a bit.

@TheHoptimist

So Hazel will now see the shop and flat? Apply for permission to make a family home from them?

Sell SELL not see

I have no access to the 🔮 after that time I made off with it to another thread , but my hunch is that Hazel will make yet another final departure from Ambridge and will then announce that she is selling off the shop and flat. There will be outrage in the village, extensive fundraising, substantial donation from Borchester Land and tara! it will be saved and the flat rented out to a deserving local person/couple who can cope with steep stairs.

If we're really lucky, a celebrity will be drafted in to appear at one of the fundraising events. 🎉🎈🍾

@LillianGish

Hazel has served her purpose - Tom and Natasha would have had to move out of the flat anyway with twins on the way, but Hazel’s intervention has propelled them into the farmhouse. I find everything about her every appearance unbelievable - there is no way in the world Peggy would have invited her to Pat’s rescheduled birthday tea. I would have found it slightly more believable if she had overheard someone talking about her while she lurked behind a shelf in the village shop. Yesterday’s scenario was too contrived for words. The Archers at its worst.

LillianGish Yesterday’s scenario was too contrived for words. The Archers at its worst.

I tend to look for the scriptwriter, then say, "Ah, that explains it," to myself when an episode as contrived as last night's is aired.

This week's offerings were penned by Tim Stimpson, who also wrote the appalling jury-room half-hour extra episode ("we will find her guilty we will find her guilty she is guilty she is guilty Not Guilty Your Honour"), half of Ambridge Extra, the rapes of Helen, the Toad in the Hole episode, the only and irrelevant appearance of Sasha, Rob hitting Helen and her apologising for it, Rob's stabbing (which we found out about after the event because it was so obscurely written) and the rest of that week ... oh, and Rob threatening Jess if she dared give evidence for Helen, and her subsequent refusal to testify made to Anna.

Melodrama at its most East Lynne.

Yesterday’s scenario was too contrived for words. The Archers at its worst

Oh dear. Now I am worried as my usually very sensitive radar missed how last night’s episode plunged new depths. It might be a reaction to the tedium of the Mysteries, but I actually quite enjoyed the idea of Hazel listening quietly in the kitchen while Peggy and Tony discussed her. I don’t know how big Peggy’s cottage is so couldn’t really work out how mother and son could both have thought they were safe to talk so freely but that would be possible in some houses.

Btw, I was interested to learn Tom is looking for a 2nd-hand pram. I would be surprised if that goes ahead. Natasha will inevitably make him buy a brand new, top of the range off-road version…

What was the Toad in the Hole incident? I remember various fish-related incidents, but not that one.

@TherapistInATabard

I’ve got a BOOP from Mikes convo with Josh and Pip. When he first raised his voice saying ‘OI’ then something else, he sounded exactly like Roy. They’re believable as father and son, I think, like Susan and Emmur (iyswim).

And Tracey and Chelsea

@BashStreetKid

What was the Toad in the Hole incident? I remember various fish-related incidents, but not that one.

When Rob's mother was staying with them and they were looking to put Henry into boarding school Helen burned the toad in the hole. There was a strong suspicion it happened because Rob deliberately turned up the oven as part of his gaslighting campaign.

Thanks, @ButtonSister, that rings a bell.

@BashStreetKid

Thanks, *@ButtonSister*, that rings a bell.

It was particularly fine as a demonstration that Tim Stimpson (a) has an oven which will reach temperatures over 210 degrees and (b) doesn't make toad in the hole.

Ursula is supposed to have put it into the oven (which would need to be at 200 degrees) and then popped out to the shop to buy vegetables to go with it. Assuming that she went out after putting the batter round the sausages, that gives her probably half an hour to get to the shop, buy the veg, bring it back, prepare it and cook it.

I was quite pleased with myself last night - I’d actually just thought “Hazel’s a long time making coffee” when she appeared back in after her obvious eavesdropping session in the hall. Apart from that though I agree it was pretty stupid. I’ve no idea why Peggy felt it was in any way appropriate to invite Hazel to Pat’s birthday - most bizarre. Surely her sense of duty towards beloved-Jeck’s hideous daughter doesn’t extend that far.

Also agree that Hazel’s feeble quavery speech is intensely irritating. And that it wasn’t nearly so pronounced when she was sneaking around the re-wilding or throwing Tom and Natasha out of the flat. A feebleness of convenience mayhap…

Who is moving in over the shop?

Stella?

Maybe Stella is the new tenant

I think Stella is the new tenant too

Also re the flat - I get that living with your parents even if rent free is maybe not I ideal for Tom and Tasha however they would save tons of money and why would they want to live in a flat with lots of stairs when they have newborn twins ?

Quite a bit of messaging about young people moving on - maybe Josh (unlikely), Phoebe…

Or a new love interest for someone (gets hopes up for Kirsty).

This thing from Peggy about having "butted heads" with Hazel over the years is absolute tosh: they have spent any time together a total of three times since Peggy married Jack and Hazel didn't bother to come to the wedding or even get in touch, in 1991. (She also refused an invitation to Jack's eightieth birthday party in 1999, sending a card instead. She didn't even know when he was moved into The Laurels.)

Hazel came to Ambridge to try to get money, or rather, Grey Gables out of Jack in 2005; she stayed for about a month, and spent all of it being unpleasant to Peggy while attempting to cozen Jack. She eventually blackmailed Peggy into giving her half a million pounds to go away. Hardly something Peggy needs to apologise to Hazel about!

She turned up again after Jack's death, in 2014, and accused Peggy and Jack's solicitor of embezzlement before making herself odious round the village and going away again. Apart from not allowing her to alter the wording for Jack's tombstone, Peggy did nothing she needs to apologise to Hazel for then either.

And then there is this most recent visit, during which Peggy has bent over backwards to be pleasant to the wretched woman.

What Peggy has consistently done is refuse unquestioningly to let Hazel have her own way about absolutely everything, but given what Hazel has demanded at one time and another, I think that was correct behaviour on Peggy's part.

Thanks for the summary of Hazel's horribleness, Asking.

While it's good to see that Tom has got it through his thick skull that living with Mum and Dad isn't on, his protestations of not being party to the unpleasantness about Hazel was worth of Boris Johnson at his most weaselly.

And anyway, how would they get a double-buggy up those stairs?

And Tracey and Chelsea

Of course!

Tom is such a bloody idiot, I hope Natasha will point out that she would have been bloody furious to be stuck with two small babies in a tiny flat up steep stairs.