Archers thread #113: Who’ll find some Magic Time this Christmas in Ambridge? Share the glad tidings (and bad writing) in The Archers! Election-free zone so far ...

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like Hannah to stay around, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3439443-keep-it-to-yourself-the-archers-spoilers-thread-4, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @SurpriseSparDay for the title. I haven't heard 12/12 yet so must catch up now, seeking relief from the outside world.

Nobody ever talks about Adam being kidnapped as a baby (I only found about it from one of my Archers books - apparently it was a desperate attempt to boost the ratings in the 60s when most of the audience had deserted TA and watched TV instead) so there's a precedent

This is way beyond my TA days which only kicked in when I met my DH. I seem to remember a shower scene and poly tunnels kiss.

Anyhoo...will the kidnap be resurrected as some PTSD scenario for Adam re the baby? Looking at you SWs.

Just remembered another thing that annoyed me ... the visit from the pub consultant was on Boxing Day.

Who woks on Boxing Day? No consultant I've ever known ... they'd be off until 6 January.

Was the consultant played by someone I should have recognised?

Wasn't the consultant just doing Justin a favour? If so it's not necessarily surprising that he chose to look in on a day he wouldn't normally be working.

Surely the whole point of a charitable trust is that it’s not for the purpose of making profit?
Bearing in mind that this is TA and they are always vague about money ...
Was the idea that Peggy's thing was the charity/NFP but its remit was to find a way for local farmers to make a living in a more eco-friendly way. So Rewilding Ambridge are supposed to be trailblaisers (hah!) showing how you can ditch the intensive farming but still make money.

Made me laugh that Gavin's expecting 50 guests to turn up for his destination wedding. I had relatives that didn't come to mine, because it was a 3 hour drive away.

They'd all be posting on here, asking AIBU for not going. I do hope Philip doesn't cough up the £20-£30k. Poor Kirsty nearly choked on her champagne when Gavin said it didn't include flights, suits, etc.

Philip needs to have a serious talk to his son, about expectation and entitlement.

Didn't the consultant say he'd be sending on a report? Sounded like a professional visit to me.

Surely the whole point of a charitable trust is that it’s not for the purpose of making profit?

No. Setting aside the fact that it is very doubtful that a proper charitable trust was set up in the first place but assuming it was, the re-wilding isn't being done by the trust. The re-wilding is being done by the partnership of the firm of The Witless Trio who are a business (assuming the Witless Trio has set up a partnership; which of course they won't have) The trust is merely providing funds to allow the functioning of an eco- friendly business. The "trust" is no different from countless start up funding trusts and charities- for example Prince Andrew's Pitch at the Palace.

As an aside it's a myth that a charity shouldn't turn a profit. Charity trustees have a duty to make the best use of trust assets for the benefit of the charity. Profits get churned back for charity purposes. For example charity like the National Trust is a major landowner and landlord. Tenant farmers of the National Trust will be required to pay the same market rents that tenants of private, commercial landlords will pay.

Between:

• the ridiculous Gavin
• killing Eccles
• the bollocks over this ridiculous trust and the even more ridiculous Pip-the-expert-farmer having a hissy fit because she didn't read a bloody contract before signing it
• Phoebe being turned into a brainless numpty
• too many "whacky" character moments
• Justin's excessively twirling moustaches

Its just all so bloody ridiculous its hard to avoid the assumption that they want to kill the programme. I have memories of other programmes (old Doc who for instance) which have been run down into rubbish then stopped because of loss of audience.

The most credible story recently has been the ridiculous wedding in Bali. Overpriced/destination weddings are common sources of family strife in wedding planning (no shortage of threads here on that subject).

The most credible story recently has been the ridiculous wedding in Bali. Overpriced/destination weddings are common sources of family strife in wedding planning (no shortage of threads here on that subject)

It is; particularly if Kirsty were to get up duffed. Any sane, normal person would understand any spare cash Philip has should be kept for upkeep of a new child not squandered on an adult child for whom Philip has already done his duty but selfish prat Gavin won't see it that way.

I agree that the destination wedding one is quite credible.

Didn't Mick and Jerry get married in Bali, then have it proved to be not legally binding?

Couldn't believe how rude Pip was to Phoebe when she went round to make peace!

Couldn't believe how rude Pip was to Phoebe when she went round to make peace!

Oh I dunno - seemed entirely normal for Pip.

It is; particularly if Kirsty were to get up duffed

Wasn't there some question after the late miscarriage as to weather Kirsty could have further children? I cant remember for sure.

I think Philip should have said "yes I'll match your Mother's 1K and hope you have a lovely time". And then let them get on with it.

Overpriced/destination weddings are common sources of family strife in wedding planning (no shortage of threads here on that subject).

Indeed. The really hilarious thing was Gavin's earnest belief that their £20,000 destination wedding would be 'yoonique' and something nobody had ever done before.

Somebody direct him to MN, quick. But not before Philip and Kirsty have been well educated as to the meaning of CF-ery.

It's a credible storyline but not one designed to keep my blood pressure at a healthy level. If there's a Grinch equivalent for stupidly expensive weddings, I'm it.

Me too, Gasp0de. Especially if the couple decide what they want and then expect their parents to pay for it, and also their guests to shell out a grand or more for the privilege of being there.

This wedding story is stretching things rather. I don’t see why I’m expected to be interested in people so far removed from any Archer connection.

It’ll only be justifiable if the stress of dealing with CF son is the thing that finally does for Philip ...

Maybe we heard incorrectly and they meant Bala.

Is Bala a 19 hour flight? No, it was definitely Bali.

And then of course, there will be the stupid stag in Prague, and hen in Ibiza.

Those threads make me angry. You get the OP wringing her hands about the fact that they're expected to go to the hen/stag do, as well as the wedding abroad, even though they'll have to go into debt and use up their holiday entitlement, but despite the advice not to go, they say they HAVE to go, because "Faaaaamileeee", it'll cause WW3 etc.
Buggered if I'd go, and if it caused ructions in the family, so be it.

Bride and Groom can marry where they want, but they can't dictate who comes.

Re the consultant, apart from the fact he was a caricature, I hated the way Lil was fawning all over him.

Where was the Boxing Day Hunt on Boxing Day? There could have been a "hilarious" SL about Angus getting his loafers covered in horse manure (oh no, of course they did something too similar with Leonard the other week, didn't they!). Pubs in my neck of the woods have rather restricted opening hours over Christmas - it certainly wouldn't be the day to assess their potential. If it brings back Jamie, I'll forgive the SWs. He ought to have had some really good storylines.

Alas poor Eccles. Why bother to mention the peacock for the first time in years (in the middle of winter at a time when peacocks are fairly quiet and unobjectionable), only to kill the poor thing?

Maybe Kirstie can help Phoebe out with the rewilding, as Pip has gone from showing little or no interest to being downright obnoxious. It sounds as if Kirstie and Philip might be needing the cash!

As far as I could see, £20k was needed to secure exclusive use of the Bali hotel (so paying for rooms) and possibly the ceremony and food. Flights and wedding fripperies would be on top of that.

Am I the only one here who would be seriously pissed off it I'd gone to the effort of cooking a whole goose and all the trimmings to discover that my "prospective" son in law couldn't be bothered to warn me that I'd just be catering for 3!

No, that would annoy me too.

Is Gavin the bloke who complained about Kirsty and Philip's choice of place to eat, stiffed the waiter and then rang her up and tried to arrange a date with her? Or was that someone else's son going out with his father and his father's new girlfriend?

I've never cooked goose or turkey (we always have pheasant - 2 pheasants for 3 people , multiply as needed) but isn't a goose too much even for 4? Wouldn't duck be a better choice for 4?

Never cooked goose, not sure I've even eaten it, but from what I've read it's so fatty that there's not a lot of flesh left after all the fat has melted away. Has to be cooked on a rack, I believe, so that the fat can collect in the roasting tin below. Similar to duck? I have cooked duck but found the huge amount of fat a bit offputting. My oven suffered too.

Rex doesn't rear geese any more, does he?