Call #111 for Archers advice: Is Hilda breathing? Should Joy be breathing? Could Nelson Gabriel be in cryogenic suspension? Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like to be Joy's best friend or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3439443-keep-it-to-yourself-the-archers-spoilers-thread-4, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for all the input on title suggestions. I'd missed the significance of 111, but @R4 and DDD, our resident numerologist, were right on to it. Strongly tempted by Bore's suggestion but couldn't resist the chance to mention my favourite ever Archers character, Nelson Gabriel. Have not managed to incorporate a cricket reference, so you'll have to read up on that for yourselves. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_(cricket)

I wonder if this thread will last till Joe's funeral.

@MikeUniformMike yes it really was

I don't cycle because I never learned as a child and am far too much of a wimp to try it in London at my advanced age I thought I was the only person in the country who could say that! Did you fail to learn to play ping-pong too?

I iron pillow cases. And handkerchiefs. And one towel which I prettified by crocheting some lace, and the lace looks better ironed. (Crochet is excellent for keeping the mind absorbed when you're involved in a conversation which isn't fully engaging.)

I am in two minds as to whether I should contribute to the cycling theme that I accidentally started, but I also didn’t learn to ride a bike as a child.
I do also agree that ironed tea towels are a thing of beauty, but I still don’t iron them.

Hand eye coordination has never been a strong point of mine, MereDint, so table tennis wasn't a success.

I was once told that if you're involved in delivering an emergency home birth, then a pillowcase is good for wrapping round the baby, but only if it's both clean and ironed. Ironing making it more sterile.

So I always iron my pillowcases

CaptainMyCaptain
I missed the voice, shame.

They have put it in at the end of the website version, CMC, at www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000b0rh

But you do have to sign in.

Thank you Gaspode, I feel much better about myself now

A friend of mine said they had Ironing Lessons at school, starting with devoting a whole two lessons to ironing a handkerchief.

What do you wrap round the baby if you don't have a clean ironed tea towel at hand? Surely anything is better than leaving it to freeze?

‘Nothing like a tumble tussock’ - indeed Joe Grundy. RIP.

Re ironing there is a horror story about a colonial administrator who dumps his black mistress when his white fiancee arrives. The mistress used to diligently iron everything ; the fiancee didn't. It ends with the fiancee using tweezers to extract larvae from his back- the ironing use to kill them at an early stage. I can't remember the name or the author.

MissBarbary I have the story in a collection on my desk at work. It's going to niggle me all weekend as I can't recall the title or author.

Was anyone else disappointed with the lack of funeral? I dislike the style of characters describing to each other what happened. I would have liked to have heard the Grundy clan getting ready, the jingle of Ken’s harness and the clip clipping of her hooves with the trundle of the wheels as they set off to the church. They could have cut to a little bit of Alan and then over to the wake.

I didn’t like it being all about Jim at the tearoom, he could have saved the music for the Bull in the first place and not put the pressure on himself. Unnecessary to have the awkwardness of the hush for his piece and then having to stop.

And the less we have to hear of Alf the better.

Oh my word autocorrect! JEM. Jem the pony not KEN!!!!

Although Kenneth would be an excellent name for a horse.

Re ironing, I believe ironing clothes led to the demise of the body louse, which used to hide in the seams of clothes.

I teared up at yesterday's episode, but think @HelloYouTwo's version would have been better.

*hide and (crucially) lay eggs

There is a right way to iron handkerchiefs, in order to get them folded correctly (men in squares, ladies in triangles).
I liked the way Joe’s wake went but I really don’t think Bert would have included old resentments in his poem.

Thanks chemenger, I never knew that.
I don't have any handkerchiefs AFAIK, but I'll do that if I get any.
My used tissues go in the compost bin.

Ironing handkerchiefs is one of the many skills that learned as a child and never use. I don’t think I own any cloth hankies to iron.

My late Great Auntie Annie used to be a dab hand at goffering.

Fascinating to watch, with lovely results.

I do also agree that ironed tea towels are a thing of beauty, but I still don’t iron them.

I agree that ironed handkerchiefs are much neater looking, but I still don't iron mine even though I do exclusively use cotton hankies. They mainly sit scrunched up in my jeans or dressing gown rather than jauntily poking out the top of a breast pocket in my immaculately ironed blouse (although I suspect ladies are probably supposed to keep them in a handbag in any case. I wouldn't know - I'm most definitely a woman rather than a lady).

Most of the Ambridge matriarchs (thinking especially of Jenny and Jill) would be shocked at my awful lack of effort in the housekeeping department, if we ever met. I reckon I'm on about Ruth's level, although I can cook.

Why was Clarrie washing up again?
Can someone (other than Emma) gice the woman a break?

Glad Jim flakes at the tea room. It would have been too tidy for his PTSD to be resolved so easily.

And finally boop for Joe. No you're crying.

Also love a cotton hanky but ironing went out as soon as the children came along. Although I still iron fabric for sewing and all manner of adhesive badges, though prefer a mechanical bond ideally.

My home made hankies are ironed into small rectagles to fit the matching cases I made.

WheresThatCatGoneNow, I had never even heard of goffering.

(men in squares, ladies in triangles). Mine are deltoids.

Captain Wow! Individual cases? Mine are in the quilted case I made at primary school - the sort of quilting where you embroider an elaborate pattern in parallel lines to hold two pieces of material together with a thicker piece between for padding, and thread thick string between the lines of embroidery to bring out the pattern in relief . That represented the summit of my sewing achievement.

Captain Wow! Individual cases?
No, 6 to a case the size of a handbag sized pack of tissues. They are made of left over pieces of Seasalt cotton lawn with matching cases.