The Archers. No need to share the thread with anyone else darling, we can have a lovely time just us together. It must be Henry's bedtime.

[PseudoBadger]

New thread for the Omnibus.

Worse than listening to Helen's story for me has been hearing the stories of real women who have lived with real Knobs (on this thread and in the media)

But heartening they are stories of real life women who left or binned off as I like to think of it, real life Knobs.

My thread title suggestion Taxi for Helen Archer

Excellent point SmallLegs. Hope the story can encourage more women to to do the same.

stilllearnin - you're welcome, keeping a note in a spreadsheet of course so easy to update. (If it turns out to be wrong, I've also noted the name of the poster who worked it out originally, so I can blame her! ).

25 weeks and Veritat's comment above about saving a title until closer to the birth put a wry smile on my face, as my first DS was born at 30 weeks, so sometimes births come sooner than you think...

If as has been suggested, Helen didn't go to the scan wouldn't her midwife follow it up to establish there wasn't a problem? Which would involve possibly a phone call to the house, Knob taking the call and then "well darling, what were you doing if you weren't at the scan?"

sorry if I've missed this being discussed. :)

or something about other characters, like
"Helen, here's the number for Women's Aid, and can we drop Pip off that cliff with Rob while we're at it?"

Curtains for the Village Hall - but when will it be curtains for Rob the Knob?

I would guess that a missed scan would cause the MW to follow up. Heaven help her if Rob finds out though.

I think she's sending all kinds of distress signals but no one's seeing them yet, except Kirsty.

Ok - prepared to accept postponement of 'Don't Call the Midwife' thread title - as long as we get it in the end…. Taxi for Helen Archer also excellent note ARCHER not sodding Titchener

Got to include Swanee Kazoo in the thread title somewhere!

How about 'Is Helen up the Swanee Kazoo or can Kirsty rescue her from Rob the Knob?'

We need the cowpat of destiny in there

How about

Let's shove the cowpat of destiny into Robs face

As I keep saying, we've had enough of this part.
The next part could equally well grab the listeners and, I hope, be inspirational.
If listeners are switching off because it's too harrowing then it really has gone on too long and it's high time for a change of direction.

The cowpat of destiny/doom slides into the sinkhole of oblivion while a swanee whistle plays.

To be honest, if Helen missed her scan, I think it would be the SW's style to signal that to the listeners, I don't think they would leave us completely guessing that she's lied to Kirsty and Rob. (It's like the paternity tests, where some of us got carried away with theories about how Rob had faked the result, and the SW had to eventually make an announcement to put that to bed).

By contrast, Rob's lie (I assume) to Helen on Monday that he was just passing the school and saw Helen's car was presumably signalled to the listener by him earlier handing her phone - he'd been looking at her texts.

I think Helen will kill him.

Is the timing the signal that she might have missed her scan? She was home later than he calculated but she had been shopping as well as meeting Kirsty. He factored neither of those into his taxi plan.

Dad, I agree with that actually - the SWs invariably signpost stuff, which is why I was always sure she wasn't lying about being pregnant in the first place. But there are lots of tweets saying she didn't go, anyway.

It's because they have signposted a lot via Kirsty that I agree with whoever said above that Helen would now tell K that she's awfully busy resting for the foreseeable - all Kirsty's little mutters have been correct so far ('maybe she can't?' etc), and I think the 'no you won't' last night will probably be correct too.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/2563766-Helen-is-drowning-in-the-Cow-Pat-of-Destiny-Please-SWs-when-will-it-be-curtains-for-Rob?watched=1

I think Helen will kill him.

Killings too good for him. TOTAL HUMILIATION would be better.

NEW THREAD IS UP AND RUNNING.

CLICK PSEUDO'S LINK ABOVE.