We love Charlie. But we want Adam and Ian to get married. What will happen in Ambridge in the pre-Christmas thread?

[PseudoBadger]

Just listened to Friday - we are 2 weeks from Christmas and David didn't even ask whether Ruth will be back by then?

Stickerrocks my Gran lives in Sticker, I was only there the other day to see her, talk about small world!

Yes Knob said he would do all the cooking for Christmas and Helen can put her feet up (when doesn't she??). She is going to be bored ridgid and longing to be getting involved with the festivities at the farm.

Did Lilian & Paul go to the races at Felpersham? (ie Worcester)

I wonder if Hellin is going to miscarry.

I'm almost sure of it Mini, how many weeks is she now? She had a early private scan but I don't recall a 20 week yet.

Yes, of course - thanks Annie! Jean Harvey is a sleb, is she not? She will no doubt create drama in her wake as luvvies do. Something involving Lynda, I guess.

Now caught up on the thread and TA before being absent from both.

The scene with Ian was gut-wrenching, but I expected some sort of reaction from Helen afterwards. I suppose the sad truth is that there is no one she can talk to about it; no one she can say that she's done the same to Ian as she did to Kirsty. Because she knows there will be absolutely no sympathy from Knob.

H. is about 18 weeks, so won't be a m/c soon. Will become a stillbirth.
Either we've been set up for nothing to happen at all OR
something big is gonna happen at Knob+H's house and no one will realise until Boxing Day. Handy they like to do climax episodes on Fridays, and then we have to wait on tenterhooks until Sunday to find out how things turned out.

Totally absurd Pat would be fine about not seeing H&H (especially little H) over Xmas eve+Xmas day. But we knew that.

OH And PS:
WHERE do I buy free-range whole turkeys or geese for under £35 per bird? They cost £55-£70 around here. ARRRGGGHH. I've just had a deep dark moan at DH on that one.

Did someone say Rob is Master? When did that happen???

Somebody on my FB buy & sell page had amazing free range turkeys at £4 a lb (but probably generally around 12lbs so still nearer £50)

I think he's standing in for Oliver. However, from my very limited knowledge about hunting entirely acquired through TA surely he would need his own horse and a substantial private income to be Master?

Coldtea This is like a reunion! Next someone is going to spring up who went to St Mewan. I got married in Sticker Chapel many years ago & I'll be picking up my papers in the village shop next weekend.

Jean Harvey is a sleb, is she not?

It's years since I've followed TA regularly (just catch the odd episode in the car from time to time) but surely Jean Harvey goes way back. Isn't she a rival Am Dram producer in a neighbouring village? Or an unheard stalwart of the WI? I think she's definitely a 'County' type rather than a village yokel..

(Just briefly unlurking in the interests of thread extension)

Helen has to have worked out that it was Knob who told Ian, doesn't she? She certainly picked it up when he said something to the effect that "Even Rob knows about it". And yet she's apparently said not one word to Knob.

I was just trying to work out whether Hellin is going to breast feed or formula feed - or rather, which one Knob will allow her to do. On the one hand bf ties her down and fits his Kinder Kuche Kirche ethos and, if breast is best, then SOK must have the best. On the other hand, ff gives him more control, enables him to check what SOK gets and gives him more say over when SOK gets fed etc. What do we think?

Having thought a bit more about the feeding issue, on the whole I think they're likely to go for bf with Helen struggling because she's so stressed and Knob telling her off for not looking after herself properly and short-changing SOK.

BF is too hippy-dippy, lentil-weavy for Knob. He'll definitely want her to FF, despite her (or probably because she) successfully BFing Henry.

Or they could do Helen struggling to feed too. Whatever happens, she's screwed.

Maybe Pat and Tony will turn up Surprise!!! at the cottage on Friday?

Jean Harvey used to run the meals on wheels. I think she was a rival Queen Bee to Jill. She's been in the village decades but has never spoken before.

Re Helen and feeding - whatever she does it will be wrong. If she tries BF on demand, Knob will insist that she tries to stick to 4-hourly feeds. If she wants to FF, he will insist she goes on with BF even if she ends up with an abscess. If she does BF that will probably be another reason for her not to leave the house so that there are no issues around modesty.

I think Knob will want Hellin to breastfeed but she will be too traumatised from the birth (probably Caesarian) to comply, so she will have let him down yet again. CowPat will be no help. (I just wanted to say CowPat).

Being a master is a bit like being a school governor, you don't need money (or any ability to ride) just a level head and some diplomacy.

Some listeners' poems here. I think I like the one for Ruth best.

Scruff?!

Yay!!!!!!!