Badly done Helen, badly done - you're as stuffed as a Grundy turkey. Discuss The Archers here.

[PseudoBadger]

New thread in time for Friday's episode...

It's more twee than fallon!!

And it makes me think 'bridgewater'. Which I think of as just down fallons street

It's a sobering thought that there are a very few people around who are even more overinfested than I am.

Why doesn't anyone ask Knob what he knows about shop management? It was his incompetence that ran Ambridge Organics into the ground.

Tonight episode was especially horrid, I found myself shouting at the radio during the decorating conversation and cringing in horror at the HellRob stuff.

When the buggery is Charlie going to tell Adam about Rob's blackmail threat? I think that might be the thing that starts to topple Rob's intricately weaved web.

Oh come now, Lillian. There's no one in Ambridge who could put that question and be taken seriously by Rob.

1. Helen - woman and pregnant.
2. Pat - woman and past it.
3. Kirsty - woman, has form for not thinking the sun shines out Rob's fundament, ie deluded and dangerous.
4. Tony - male, but allowed himself to be gored by a bull and previously to have a heart attack, so not really a full man these days.
5. Johnny - male, but very young, illegitimate and a possible inheritance threat, so has to be patronised and misdirected at every opportunity.
6. Tom - male, but easy for a superman like Rob to influence - e.g. what happened after the wedding last year.
7. Brian - male but past it.
8. Charlie - not really a man, given his sexual preferences.
9. Adam - ditto.

10. Ian - ditto. 11. Fallon - woman, sorry, girl. 12. Emma - ditto. 13. Ed - man, but (a) he's from the wrong side of the tracks and (b) he's henpecked, so doesn't count. 14. Peggy - woman, very old, very rich - flatter, flatter, flatter but obviously she knows nothing worth listening to. 15. Jim - man, but old and unimportant. No need to butter him up! 16. Harrison - man, but also plod - petty bureaucrat looking for ways to inconvenience the citizen. Also, henpecked. No need to bother about him.

And so on and so forth. In Robworld the only person who counts is Rob, obviously.

for anyone for whom the EA SL is bringing up memories of their own past relationships. I'm finding just the sound of Rob's voice chilling, and I haven't been in such a relationship. I'm finding it to be difficult listening.

Agree BYOS that Bridge Farm Cafe conjures up images of the losers' cafe in the Apprentice. I don't suppose Rob watches that, but he would make a great contestant, as he is as deluded as they are.

Gasp that counsellor is definitely over-infested. I thought the stages of grief suggested by Mordern(?) were interesting; and more helpful than the Kubler Ross stages.

Gasp0de - Wow. over-infested almost doesn't cover that!

In fairness to Pat she did say something along the lines of, "oh now I don't think that's very fair Rob". Hopefully it will niggle away - it was a pretty nasty way to describe friends of Helen's - and maybe remind her of what she found so odious in him to begin with.

Gasp that list sums up Rob's attitude perfectly

I was thinking tonight about his birth family. I think it very possible that his parents were emotionally distant/abusive when he was growing up, possibly narcissistic, and that he has made huge efforts to go NC. However he himself has traits of some or other personality disorder. The fact that Ursula has tried to get involved, both with her "grand child" and with Rob in Ambridge and his new partner, doesn't negate the fact that she could be utterly toxic once she gets close to someone.

I am not excusing Rob's behaviour by the way, I'm just wondering why he would be the way he is. (although I guess some people just are that way).

You do realise that Helen and Rob could go on like this for years?

They can't let this go on unless they decide to do a spin off show. It's going to have to be called the titcheners otherwise

I've changed my mind about Ambridge Tea Room… Have just over-infestedly googled stumbled upon some random organic farm shops with adjacent cafés to see what exciting names they have come up with - interestingly so far pretty much everyone just goes with 'the tearoom' or 'the cafe'...

The Tearoom at Low Sizergh Barn
The Tearoom at Ballylagan Farm
The Tearoom at Manor Organic Farm

And as it is more of a tea and cake place than a meals place, I think the Ambridge Tea Room at Bridge Farm is the way forward actually.

Also note all the rustic interiors a la Tom and Helen's original vision btw. Even the Belgravia Daylesford shop - surely one of the poshest organic shops around - is full of rustic looking crates and wood.

If you're going for minimalist clean lines and shelves full of vitamins you end up with this. Not exactly a 'destination location'.

I look forward to the day when Helen is ripping down his cold metal shelving units with a huge hammer, and triumphantly replacing them with hay-filled crates of Borsetshire Blue and knobbly turnips from the fields…

Goodness Gasp0, that website must win some sort of prize!

At the moment I'm prepared to believe that Rob's parents are perfectly nice people who in the past have refused to be blind to his psychotic self-regard. He probably kept trying to take over things on the family farm without ever once displaying the slightest talent for farming. Or business. Or interpersonal skills necessary to run an enterprise ...

I think we should invite the grief counsellor to join the thread. I'm sure she could answer the "I remember such-and-such happening, but I can't remember why it happened" type questions that come up.

There's probably a flood of those papers at the moment, while they're all gearing up for that academic conference (giving themselves an excuse to talk about the Archers on work time.)

Rob is revolting but so well played and scripted.

As I said upthread I recognise so much of my ex in him. I put up with that kind of shit for 15 years. Now that things are ramping up I am finding it increasingly more uncomfortable listening. Yet part of me is disappointed when there are episodes without them!
It's like watching a car crash in slow mo. Horrific but compelling at the same time.

I'm waiting for the episode in a few months time when Poirot investigates the dreadful murder of Rob, found on Lakey Hill with 12 uneven stab wounds. There will be a gathering and a big reveal at Lower Loxley attended by Helen, kirsty, pat, Tony, tom, jess, Ian, Adam, stephan, lynda, Shula and fallon.

Not at all impossible Imbroglio - particularly if they can find a TV star to play the detective. Rupert Graves? Or Sherlock himself?

I hope it all ends when Hellin, looking to solve Henry's bedwetting stumbles onto MN. She eventually posts on relationships and is told to LTB and go on the Freedom program and someone surreptitiously sends her a copy of Lundy Bancroft.

The Rob storyline gets silly when everyone else in TA has to have a personality transplant to fit in with it.
It is totally changing the atmosphere of TA. I've been listening a lot less but it's just getting more miserable and silly. Plus why is Eddie the only one who sees that the Calender Girls is really just a "get your tits out for the boys" production and nothing at all to do with female empowerment.
I think it's sad that's the only way a group of fiesty women could think of to raise money for charity.

2rebecca - totally agree with everything you've just said!

Rob is such a knob I can't believe Pat hasn't said something!

Oh Clarrie! Oh no! It's so awful. I feel so sorry for her. There's no granite work tops and built in dishwasher for her. There just isn't. What are they going to do? Where will they go?

I can't think about R and H. I just can't.

Oh Pat you fucking TWAT!

Exactly what I shouted at iPlayer last night whilst cooking dinner (thankfully DS was zonked out 2 floors up so out of ear shot!)

I really wanted Helen to point out to Rob that if she was such a delicate flower that making a decision about a shop name would be too much for her, then his having a strop at her was surely a total no-no. If she played it right it could be a killer argument - either he has to let her do what she wants indefinitely (because every time he tries to tell her off she tells him she's not strong enough for it), or he has to decide she's not that delicate after all, in which case she can carry on as before.

2rebecca, surely they're not going to get their tits out? I bet it will be body stockings all round.