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[PseudoBadger]

Chocolate Chip cookie anyone?

It is the perfect time to get pregnant but as Helen will be totally invalided for her entire pregnancy she can't possibly conceive now

I think that the trouble at Berrow can be likened to the problems at Barings Bank. If you remember, Nick Leeson kept sending trading reports that said "we're doing fantastically well" and then said "we're a bit short on cash this month, can you send some over." No-one at HQ spotted the non sequitur.
I think that Rob is fabricating reports saying that KPI are good and Charlie is thinking "but why isn't this translating into cash?"

I cannot comment on Helen - words fail me.

Either that, or it's that cows don't thrive well if their feed is adulterated with minced Stefan. (no, I don't think they'd do that sort of SL on TA).

What do you all think about this Morrissons milk stunt? If I've understood, the consumer can choose to buy at a fair price or choose the 'standard' milk which obviously isn't fair - and Morrissons aren't subsidising the difference, the farmers are. Is that about the size of it? (I was half-listening to the radio when it was on the news)

No, the customers are subsidising the difference. You can get the same milk at normal price, or you can pay more for the farmers. So other than a little bit of admin to handle two milk prices (which I would assume is very trivial, as there must be new lines getting added to the EPOS system all the time), Morrisons are not actually doing a hell of a lot. It's not like they're taking any hit. I can't believe their margins are so close that they couldn't just pay a decent price on it all. What will end up happening is they'll say, "well, we offered more expensive milk, but customers wouldn't buy it, so it's down to them, not us."

Having said that I can't comment on Helen ...
It's bugging me that everyone is saying that she is glowing. Do we think that Rob has switched her Pill and got her up-duffed on the sly?
I don't understand that he accepted her "not yet" answer. Most people would say "OK, I'll accept that for now but only if we set a time frame you are getting on a bit, you know "

Helen rips my knitting for a number of reasons, as someone said upthread, she's a spoiled and cossetted child masquerading as a strong minded independent woman and is being indulged as such by her ridiculous parents.

But what made me despise her most of all was when she and Emma were pregnant at the same time. Emma was really suffering with nausea and Helen was fine. Was she sympathetic, did she acknowledge her good fortune? Did she heck. "It's because I do this and don't do that, it doesn't have to be like that Emma, you too could be as perfect as me with a little more effort". Bloody cah, I wanted hyperemesis to hit her like a 10 ton touch. But it didn't of course.

The milk thing (non-Archers) (though why aren't the Dopeys talking about it?) makes me SO MAD

Loss leader should mean the shop bears the loss, not the supplier.

At least Morrisons is beginning to address the issue, unlike the rest

And also HOW the hell is Mr Centre Of His Parents' & GrandParents' Universe child going to adjust to a new baby? I am sure I read somewhere that a gap of 5 years between siblings is akin to being an only child.....

She is BEYOND patronising ....oh yes Ian, i know you're having probs with Adam? And OMG How would you moving affect ME? Oh phew you're not moving then *I'm" okay. Anyway you know in a RELATIONSHIP it's about give and take etc etc I'm the expert at RELATIONSHIPS you know..bakc to me and how HAPPY I am.
BLEAUGH
Why is he even friends with her?

Yes lots of glowing refs - she is bound to be preggers already....

I've been hoping against hope that the glow is down to nightly multiple rumpy-pumpies (ewwwww)...

although being married shouldn't make it any more glow-inspiring....but that conversation with Pat was buttock-clenchingly embarrassing

I wonder which of them is responsible for birth control...?

I guess the dramatic delivery was Helen's 'punishment' for her pregnancy smugness

My sis is 5 years older than me and we got on tremendously as kids. But my dad is nothing like knob!!

I'm not sure exactly what Charlie is trying to investigate. It was something to do with calvings and subsequent mating I think. The most profitable dairy farms get cows back in calf quickly so that they have a calf every twelve months, so they are mated six weeks after calving and every three weeks thereafter until they 'hold', ie become pregnant. Cows are pregnant for nine months so need to become pregnant within three months after calving to maintain a 365 day calving interval, though slightly longer calving interval would be expected on more intensive units. The implication was that someone had falsified calving records, which doesn't make much sense because they wouldn't know at the point of calving how long it would take for the cow to get back in calf. Unless they were falsifying pregnancy record and saying cows were pregnant when they weren't. In that case, the management records for the individual animals wouldn't make sense if things weren't entered correctly which would lead to all sorts of problems with not mating them again (because they should be pregnant) to then drying off cows which should be pregnant, (cows are dried off, ie not milked, around two months before calving to allow them to regain condition) which then turn out not to be. Once dried off, if they are not pregnant, there is only one option for them.... And anyway, they were talking about the problem period being a few months ago in which case I can't see how that would have shown up in the bottom line yet...

I seem to have missed the potential £26k from Lillian - what was that all about?

Haven't heard tonight yet but agree re dowry - are we supposed to believe that someone like Helen would really think that? It didn't appear to be influenced by anything Rob had said.

Today reminds us that we are not quite sure who comes off worst in this relationship: is it Helen or Rob? They are both awful.

That's fascinating dairyfarmer - do you think they've scripted a problem/ fraud that couldn't possibly occur?

Re Lillian - a day or two after they had the bad news about the foundations Jolene responded to Kenton's moaning by reminding him that at least Lillian had said she would cover half the cost. (And he stroppily replied that it would be easy for her, she could just offload another rental property or whatever.)

I think it's hilarious that the evil controlling man has ended up with 'loving every minute of it' Helen

If it wasn't for Henry it would be the perfect relationship

Jesus, poor cows! My bits are still a mess 8 months on, if my husband tried to knock me up 6 weeks post-birth I'd LTB.

I think I may have worked out what the issue is at Berrow. Rob will have been given targets to meet - ultimately money from selling milk is reliant on cows being in calf to a pretty tight schedule. The forecasts for Berrow will have been based on a schedule like those outlined by DFW. Rob's continued employment (and possibly a bonus?) will be reliant on him meeting those targets.

For whatever reason, the cows didn't get in calf to the right schedule which ultimately leads to a drop in milk output down the line and therefore less money coming in than forecast. If you knew the cows weren't getting in calf you would adjust your forecasts accordingly - so rather than expecting eg £100 you would be expecting £80.

Rob saw on the underlying sheets that the cows weren't getting in calf but falsified the entries on the computer so it looked as if they were. Charlie therefore was expecting £100 and has started wondering why the cows are only generating £80. This explains the interest in the underlying records and why Rob was blustering and stropping when Charlie asked for them - first tactic when people are caught out is often to try and intimidate away the person asking difficult questions. The other one which I could see Rob trying to pull is to go into over helpful obsequious mode - so it's too hard to believe that someone like that could ever be up to no good (cf every next door neighbour of a mass murderer!)

Yes Hell is really OTT now; heading for a precipice methinks, and it is just a bit silly. Giving Ian relationship advice! WTF?

Though I'm enjoying it I must say .

Hester is Carols' friend from when she and John lived in Bristol. I think.

I don't know why Ian gives her the time of day, really. Imagine the AIBU - 'AIBU to be upset with my friend? I'm having a really difficult time with DH at the moment, and tried to have a chat with old friend about it, but all she said was that 'relationships are about give and take', and then proceeded to spend the rest of brunch boasting about her new relationship. Had to invent balsamic crisis in the end just to get away from her!'

Also: Rob is NOT Henry's 'daddy' - I hate the way they're doing that! It made me think of some Victorian 'I have brought you home a new Mamma, children: Mrs Fanshawe and I married in Cawnpore and now she shall be Mamma to all of you'. Or something.

I don't see why Henry shouldn't see rob as his dad. That is in theory the role he is fulfilling

Well, he might well have done, in the fullness of time, but I don't like the assumption that the marriage simply makes it fact ('I am now officially your daddy' - well no, that's not how it works).

Also it's not realistic that Henry would automatically switch to calling him daddy & never revert to Rob (which is what he's been calling him for about half his life!)

(Mind you it's not realistic either that he would cheerfully say 'OK!' when told to get himself into bed (WTF???) instead of doing whatever it was he'd planned to. Archers children are all automatons )

I don't find it that odd the daddy thing - he's the only one he has ever known and probably quite liked the idea

After robs little boo hoo over 'holding his own child' I think Henry is going to be really neglected once demon child comes along.

My kids put themselves to bed when they are tired - although I still clean their teeth. Maybe Henry saw robs face and thought it best to make himself scarce!!

does Rob automatically become 'daddy' or does he have to adopt? (or do something legally)
marrying Helen does that automatically mean he is now Henry's (step) dad?
Helen as a character has always annoyed me how she does not take responsibility for her own actions and of course 'the family' understand that she is 'fragile' and needs support while lauding her to the skies as an independent business woman

Oh yes, I suspect when they do get an ickle baby for Wob to hold, Henry's dubious paternity will become an issue again - 'well Hellon, Henry acting out about the new baby is only to be expected - after all this baby is ours, but we don't know what sort of - influences - might be in Henry's genes to make him behave in this way, do we darling? Perhaps it might have been better if you'd waited until you met me to start pro-creating, hmm?' 'Yes, Rob, I do see, I'm so sorry, I love you so much'.

And yes, he may see Rob as the only father he has, and think of him in that role - but I think the 180 degree switch to 'Daddy' is unrealistic and also I dislike it. If he was going to be 'daddy' and Henry was going to think of him in that way, why did it all have to centre on the moment of their marriage?