We're on a road through Ambridge, come on inside. Archers chat here

[PseudoBadger]

Have you had your free venison burger?

What happened tonight? I can't get anywhere near a radio or pc for days!

Statistically improbable? Of course, but this is The Archers we are talking about here. Home of the impossibly implausible plotline Fairies.

watermelon your vivid description of plungers and yogurt filled buckets made me wonder if anyone has ever attempted to make porn for radio. I do hope not.

I think the most realistic outcome would be that L&R put it behind them, but that one of them (probably Roy) will confide in someone and the secret is leaked years later, at which point the shit hits the fan and Hayley LTB.

However, the less plausible outcomes are more likely.

I was shocked at both of them! (Naive)

Hayley will find out and lure lizzie up to the roof and push her off

Or lizzie will be pregnant with twins and her heart won't cope leaving Roy a single dad with 2 step kids to care for and 2 other kids he rarely sees

The new writers with leave it as a nice modest conclusion

I hope Roy has the sense to keep his mouth shut.

I can't bear it when everyone goes out of character. Lizzie and Roy- no, it just wouldn't happen. Not in a month of Sundays. Just....not. Ridiculous. Grrrrrrrrrrr. I'm cross.

The lizzard got drunk and shagged Rotaboy, then see woke up and was sick. Rotaboy was all smug and 'where do we go from here'' but Lizzie nixed it.

Then Hayley phoned up and said 'Oh i bet you had a good time last night' then she put AbbyRobot on the phone and she said "I wuv you daddy, we are making cupcakes cos we miss you'. So it was a lot like the phone call Ruth had when she didn't shag the cowman when she was on the way to the Oxford Travelodge.

Then Rotaboy went home and gave Hayley a bit of cheap crap he'd bought at the last minute. 'Did you have a productive weekend?' Asked Hayley 'Oh yes!' Sniggered Roy.

"Yes," said Rotaboy "I spent it making a half-sibling for our little AbbyRobot."

KIrsty, you forgot the juxtaposition. Whilst Roy was being being disloyal, Shula went to visit Dan who has turned out to be the ideal - i.e. upright, truer than true, can withstand tests - soldier.

I am a bit worried about Dan and his life. There seemed to be lots of signs that things might go horribly wrong. His comment about " most" of the platoon pulling their weight, him saying how much he is looking forward to his next week end home " if I make it through" and finally Shula being admiring and openly proud of him and telling him so. He's on the dead list I reckon.

As for Rotaboy and Lizard's ONS, I really hope that comes back to bite them both on the arse with a babyRoy and an unbelievably angry Hayley.

Oh yes, there was a whole lot about formerly fat Dan being on a parade, and Shula went 'oh look at my boy he looks like a soldier'. Yes Shula, that would be the soldier's uniform making him look like a soldier.

It's as I predicted - he is much keener than she is. It's not going to end well.

It would be a really clumsy storyline to kill off dan or have him involved in any military storyline that was newspaper fodder

Oh, that was fun! The Sandhurst visit was a little too perfect yes; I don't believe they'd kill Dan off but perhaps he won't be going home unscathed next weekend.

I'm sure there will be consequences for Lizzie and Roy given the new Editor's ambition to S(hakespeare)ATTC.

What is it about Roy that makes him so attractive to the posher Ambridge female?

I am shocked. Has anything like this ever happened before in the history of the archers? hhmm - apart from John/Sharon (eek poor Hayley!)

I'm done. Had enough. Switching off for a while. I'll miss the thread. Let me know when they stop trying to SATTC.

seems there is an 11 year age gap - in case anyone else was wondering.

Lizzie still has time to get the MAP. Just DO IT LIZ! Cannot bear the though of that scheming, adulterous, lying piece of crap Roy having a hold over anyone. I can understand lonely sex starved Lizzie but he needs lynching.

It's not Roy's fault - didn't you know hat lizzie is an extremely attractive woman? Even his wife thinks so

MAP?

A map to help lizzie find her taste in men

(Morning after pill)

GoldenSands stay on the thread, it's what I did while I was on a break. This storyline is not right - character transplant a-go-go - but I'm not that bothered. I think it's because I've never cared that much for either Lizzie or Roy.

Do we think that Alistair's rush to get back 'for work' was a bit suss?

How do you imagine Lizzie? I see her as rather like Kirstie Allsopp, rather roly poly but very well groomed and with a certain posh allure. Big fan of kitten heels, which would have been a major reason she was so full of trepidation about the festival - kitten heels are no good at all on grass.

I'm afraid I've always seen poor Rotaboy as rather lacking in the style stakes, with not very nice grey suits and unadventurous shirt and tie combos. We didn't hear him packing but I'm willing to bet there was one of those three-packs of new pants in his rucksack.