Anyone for a fondant fancy? Let The Archers eat cake...

[PseudoBadger]

TA is in a purple patch at the moment, rewarding listeners for wading through the dross of the previous year few months. Welcome all!

I know - yuck!!!!

Have listened now
And another thing!
Helen didn't even try to put Henry back into his own bed…
Am v much enjoying at the mo too
Tis my 13 mins of bliss at the end of the day
Sat nights a bit rubbish tbh

Bet he's not really going to Harlow

I noticed she was expecting Rob to entertain Henry whilst she did supper. Even if Rib was a saint it's a huge change to suddenly have a toddler living with you full time.

She's a really dreadful parent - one minute it's 'shut the fuck up, we're moving in with a new daddy and I can't be arsed thinking about Panda Bear', and the next 'aw bless, did you get up in the middle of the night to get into mummy's bed? Hop on in then!'.

He is SO not going to Harlow.
I have to go out tonight so will miss it

I'm not sure if the bed sharing is a harbinger of something more sinister.

What the fuck is Hellin thinking. Dragging him into the bed of a bloke she's been shagging for five minutes.

Having the pleasure of living near Harlow, I can't even begin to imagine what kind of agri / cow business is planning to visit. But I so love the fact that the scripties pulled such a random place off the map.

I think Hellin is playing happy families in her head and oblivious to the fact that no one else can hear her internal monologue. She will be so fucking surprised when Rob gets arsey about how much time Henry takes up 'cos he's his Daddy now and they are a family.

I think the "can you entertain Henry while I cook supper" thing was brilliant on many levels.

1. why is she automatically the one cooking? Rob has presumably been fending for himself just fine.

2. being a parent involves doing more than one thing at once, like now when I'm tidying up the tea things, watching the toddler, mumsnetting . She has never had to be a normal parent up to now.

I must say I'm finding it hard to reconcile:

I don't need a man to have a baby...

with:

I've met a man so I'm moving my child into his house immediately....

No she didn't need a man to have a baby, but needed her mum and dad dancing attendance on her.

I suspect in real life, Hellin wouldn't have got through the counselling interview

Harlow schmarlow! He's in Hampshire and Jess is not playing ball.

Hmmmm....very curious! I mean south of Birmingham to Harlow isn't exactly to the moon and back is it? Two hours tops! What the actual is that all about?!

And I agree - I am LOVING it at the moment. Lots of sub plots (the Carter Millions, Valentines at the Bull etc) along with a few meatier stories (Hellin and Rib, Peggy's Will, Jill's Problems, Will'n'Ed)

It's great!

Even the funny storylines are actually...... moderately amusing! Not what we've come to expect at all.

Well that's great.

I've just posted

PANTS ON FIRE!

on the Westminster School thread.

Was meant for here. x 100,00000

Worcester (which I'm kind of guessing at as a location) ro Harlow is a smidgen over two and a half hours. So if Rob's meeting finishes at 5 he could be back in time for tea.

But I so love the fact that the scripties pulled such a random place off the map.

Its perfect though - somewhere no-one would be likely go unless they had a business reason. Like Milton Keynes, but that's too near Borsetshire to constitute a 'long drive'.

You know, it might just be that Hellin is so used to people obeying her whims that Rob won't be able to manipulate her as much as he might expect.

Good luck with finding that hotel Rob. I think your best bet will be the Travelodge by the station. Admired locally for its location and thus facilitating discreet pickup shags from the train. You should fit in nicely.

If Helen and Kirsty had got stuck into the wine, I'd say it was well into the evening when he rang. It didn't sound like the kind of business meeting that would plausibly go on that late.

Well done, Zero. I started looking at that thread the other day and backed away sharpish. A random interjection is just what it needs.

I go from Southend to Wolverhamptin in 2.75 hurs regularly Mimsy. That has to be just over two. I think Ambridge is more Warwick than Worcester!

Thanks for the local colour Gyspy

But he's not in Harlow is he? Unless Harlow is on the outskirts of Winchester or wherever Jess is

He has the creepiest lying voice ever. I hope he trips up and Helen , to paraphrase Gladiator, unleashes Hell. He deserves it.

Yep the county of borsetshire is between Worcester Warwickshire (I couldn't be arsed looking at a map yo find a town on the border) but either way eminently driveable.

Yhese are handy tips should I start a torrid affair, pick somewhere dull and relatively far away. Preferably a New Town.