Anyone for a fondant fancy? Let The Archers eat cake...

[PseudoBadger]

TA is in a purple patch at the moment, rewarding listeners for wading through the dross of the previous year few months. Welcome all!

Do we think he's with Jess? Perhaps he's replaced Helen with another OW....

Well you know what they say Zero ...marry your mistress and you create a vacancy...

I was hoping he might be phoning from prison

My thoughts on Rob tonight?

1. Is he a serial adulterer? so a woman in Ambridge, another nr Winchester, one in Harlow, etc -though I don't believe he's been there/in Essex at all.

1. Is he stringing Jess AND Helen along, so going to be one of those men who spends half the week with each? it doesn't fit with moving OW so quickly into marital home, even if Jess wasn't in A for long. And Boss Brian isn't going to like so many 'business trips' - Brian is shrewd and will rumble him, no? I still don't think he's told her though - tis poss then he couldn't travel back cos she had him by the balls. His voice did sound a bit strangled on the phone.

1. There was a third - it came from DH - I've forgotten it ....

Was I the only one hoping the door bell was Jess, who I'm sure is quite unaware that she's getting divorced?

Would love to hear the conversation that would ensure when she found Helen and kirsty happily glugging wine in her living room.

Indeed , I was thinking that about mistresses and vacancies - an awful lot of OW seem to not twig to this till later.

1. Of course he could just be knackered after a disturbed night e-with a toddler in his bed. He is unaccustomed to toddlers' night time habits (Gd, I wish I were!). Being a kind of 'entitled barsteward'

Cooroo, that being Jess at door did cross my mind too.

Well he's certainly somewhere making up for Wednesday interruptus....

(Please god let me not accidentally post this on a schools thread...)

This valentines singles night that Doreen is organising. How many single people live in ambridge? Is it just going to be Jill and Aunty Christine battling it out to see who gets to shag Jazzer?

I was thinking a couple of things re Rob

He could be punishing Helen for the previous night by depriving her of his company / not rushing home to be in her arms

He could have genuinely been at this meeting and have met someone he wants a ONS with

Well i live in Winchester and am keeping my eye out for Rob cruising the bars on the pick up.... Theres a couple over there arguing,could it be them?

Whoops. Whistles.

Pants on fire indeed! Is he one of those that start things all guns blazing and backs out super quick? Hope it doesn't end too soon - its too much fun all this speculation. I am still hoping Henry's donor dad is revealed in order to rescue them or am I completely barking up the wrong tree? Does anyone remember if it was truly anonymous??!

If you were listening at the time of the immaculate conception you will remember that the Ambridge up the duff fairy was well and truly to the fore - Helen, relatively recently recovered from ANOREXIA and the SUICIDE of her bloke, was waved through the process and then got A CANCELLATION for the AI which enabled her to instantly conceive as I recall. She then bossed and blissed her way through her pregnancy bullying her poor dad who really found it tough before finally hitting reality in the shape of pre-eclampsia on the same night as Nigel fell off the roof. Even then the Ambridge Midwife fairy was well to the fore providing Amy at the party to spot her symptoms. Strangely Helen, despite her devouring of pregnancy books etc didn't notice her hugely swollen feet and headache.....

Sorry I started this post ages ago and now x posted! No - it was anonymous.

Basketz - Brian will understand Rob!

Pseudo, I was thinking that too - but then thought, no he won't - cos it will be his niece Rob is shafting (that may b the wrong verb in the circs, but anyway). I know B 'only' married into the Archers but he will see the family solidarity thing as important in the situation, I think.

Guinea, I hope it was TA signature tune you were whistling. The good folk of Winchester will think you're barking but if it is Rob you'll have mad a new friend.

Not mad, made. obviously. I am careless typist, sorry.

I too was praying that the doorbell would be Jess... And the telephone. Ooh the drama that'd create!

Perhaps Rob will suggest that they hire one of the mega-dairy's forrin' types what's pining for their own children as an au pair? Anything to get off 'entertaining Henry' duty.

I think Rob's been to Hampshire to put Jess on ice (possibly literally) but it's taken longer than expected or he's shagged her.

I suspect Hellin will find out the Harlow thing is a total lie because Brine will say something that blows the cover.

On a side issue, WTF was Piggoi doing giving Jack's DJ to bloody Rob? Surely there are hundreds of Archers minions that would have been more worthy recipients?

Can someone tell me what happened when Rob and Jess split up? The last I heard they were arguing about holding a party and whether they were going to live in Ambridge. Who finished it? Does Jess know about Hellin?

Can someone tell me what happened when Rob and Jess split up?

No! Nobody knows. Last we heard of Jess was Tom saw her packing her car on xmas eve(I think) - day after the terrible party, anyway.

Yes, & not a word since

must be a patio job

Ooh, thanks Errol. That's strange [strokes beard]