My F**king Builder.

[PavlovtheForgetfulCat]

He took all his tools last week, after receiving an agreed additional payment (from the final that we owe him) To clear the loft for the final lot of plastering he said. To be able to gain perspective he said. (he did not do this last time he plastered and there is only remedial plastering to do now up there, the rest is on the stairs, hallway etc). He talked to us about this and that, all nice.

After about 30 mins, I became a bit suspicious, again that he might have done a runner as he took everything apart from a yellow bucket. He took is ladder, why would you do this if you were plastering at height? Anyway, I am naturally suspicious. It is part of my job, it is part of my make-up. DH was a bit worried too, but we put it down to being nervous about this job. And I reminded myself of his reassuring conversation about him completing and DH and I agreed we were being unecessarily suspicious.

He was not coming in monday he said, bank holiday, out with the kids, he said.

This morning, he did not show. Did not answer his mobile. DH and I have been panicking. Eventually at 11am he phones.

And he said:

His younger brother has been rushed to hospital, is critical, collapsed lung (he only has one apparantly) and next 48 hours are critical. it had only just happened. He would try to get his plasterer mate to help him out.

Now. I am very cynical. DH said, initially, he appeared genuine. But DH is a very forgiving person and sees the best in everyone. I don't. DH started to doubt whether this was the truth or a blag. But, we are very nervous about whether this is true or not.

I actually want it to be true, so he that it means he has not done a runner with most of our money and left us in a hellhole. Does not make me a nice person I feel But then I also think he is very elaborate with his stories, has been so far and this smacks of some bullshit.

Either way, this week is dead for any work. and I am getting closer to my due date. And now, calm, chilled relaxed DH is starting to pull his hair out.

Sorry. Half of you probably won't even know what on earth I am banging on about but I needed to vent as I am so annoyed and upset and stressed and fed up it is unreal. I have no space. I am not sleeping as I am sharing with a toddler who talks in her sleep and a DH who is smoking too much and therefore snoring.

Oh I really feel for you they are bloody hopeless but sound typical tbh.Have they given any indication of when they will b finished?He has obviously gone to another job as that seems to be how they operate Drives me mad.I can understand your dh just wanting them out but I could almost bet money that if he got annoyed and said something they would moves their arses.i have experienced this in the past too

noddy he is asking them more politely, along with a little banter and smiling. He said he dislikes the good cop role he has been given but seeing as I have fallen into the bad cop role so easily he has no choice! But I think you are right, he is so placid that if he complains they will know it. But he did not ask them about the door facing the other way with a view of getting our own way, he said 'what way is the door facing, we were wondering if it could face outwards, is that possible?' rather than 'my wife has already asked you for it to face outwards, can you please change it to face outwards? thank you'.

I have absolutely no idea how long they are going to be here tbh, I am not asking, there is no point as I won't beleive them whatever he tells me. Originally, before he did not bother showing, he had said today latest, so in theory, that would be next monday latest, but he did nothing today and appears to be working hard doing not much today, although he is still here, and there is a lot of sawing going on and a bit of arguing between him and his son. I thought he was plastering, but while there are bags of plaster around, nothing has been done.

I am in the front room. DH is out. They know I am here and I am not making polite chitchat. There will be no more cups of tea made by me. I wonder what time they will stay until?

God Pavlov it sounds horrendous!

He sounds like a total shit tbh. Any moron would understand that if you are honest with people and up front about things they are likely to give you more leeway.

ok so the end of the day for them is now! They have just hoovered and legged it. The front room door is shut so they would have had to shout bye or knock on it to let me know they were going, I just heard them walk down the stairs and shut the door, get the van and go!

They have hoovered, and I earwigged builder boss telling his son to make sure he cleans up as he goes along, not to leave a mess, and I heard him telling him to move this and that upstairs after we had to move the plaster mixer power tool as it was left out yesterday (ok, so he did something yesterday, he brought a power tool into the house!). So, not sure if I should take him to be bloody rude for not saying goodbye or updating me on what has happened today, if i should take him as being a tad afraid to talk to me.

Bloody good if he is. Hmmph.

You don't need a good cop any more you need 2 baddies!They are sexist buggers and have always responded to dp getting angry in the past quicker than if its me which is infuriating.No tea shoulf focus tehm

buda. There is a word I hate. It begins with C and I never tolerate DH using it. Yesterday, DH used it in the context of our builder, and I did not challenge him for using it.

So, him being a 'shit', absolutely, I agree with that!

noddy I shall tell DH that! They really are sexist, he really does respond badly to anything negative from me. But DH is just too nice, he is a bit of a pushover really. I am not sure he has it in him to get mean

I think they may scared of the nasty stalking pregnant lady client. Bloody good job too!

The idea of the builder being miffed because he isn't respected enough Words fail me.

Anyway - sounds like you've got them back on the job and they are progressing a bit at least.

I hate that word too Pavlov - but I would agree that your DH is right in this instance.

I would be livid at the not saying goodbye. He knows full well he is totally in the wrong.

Northernlurker - he is going to regret taking so long. I am now almost on maternity leave so I will be here ALL THE TIME. And, tomorrow I am not at work due to training on friday, and monday I am out all day due to a long training day so I will be off for the rest of the week. Then, I am here, watching him.

I know, when DH said to me 'i think you upset the builder' and told me why, i firstly burst out laughing then felt that he dared say it! He is so petulant, he is really like a stroppy teenager. Its actually becoming quite comical (or that could be hysteria? ).

Anyway, he is here. As much as I want more than anything to tell him to get his stinking ass out of my home, he will be here for another while.

he clearly has no problems with DH, as he asked him how his job interview went this morning

I am waiting for him to stamp his feet and tell me its not fair that I am being so mean. That will be next

Oh absolutely and of course he is bonding with your dh. He feels sorry for him being married to scary must get project done as paid for bump lady It'll be some sort of male solidarity, bonding thing.

I think he will do the job now though - he knows you're not going to roll over and let him tickle your tummy and ignore your job

My blood pressure is rising just reading this as we have just had a n offer accepted on a wreck and the memories of doing up our flat are flooding back.

God it was an absolute nightmare. Our builders actually put a second hand pump in the shower rather than the really expensive one we had ordered (and no doubt sold on) and we had terrible water pressure for years until we discovered their fraud.

Best of luck with this am really keeping fingers crossed.

How it going Pavlov? Am so shocked by the ridiculous door debarcle....poor you. I read that out to DP and he was just that he'd not realised.. and OK, it's a bit of a hassle to change...but not the end of the world.

Fingers crossed you get to the end of it all in the most stress-free way possible

jeanjeanie he is a twat. Don't think for a moment i would confuse him with a professional builder, so you DP can rest assured he is not lumped into the same category!

Guess what? The builders are still here. at 4:45pm. And they have been pastering all day! I have not been up there, so they might have plastered the word 'cow' across the room for all I know, but they are certainly working hard today.

I have looked quite unwell today, and I think he overheard DH and I talking about the timings of how we are going to manage everything now we are running out of time before the baby is born. The builder asked me if I was ok as I walked passed him wearing DHs dressing gown and looked unkempt and red faced (had severe acid indigestion and was about to throw up!).

I then asked him if he is removing the ceiling rose as I asked him previously and he said 'yes if you want me to' and i resisted the temptation to say 'i fucking asked you already you pratt', instead I smiled and said 'yes please' 'ok' he said.

I wonder if he is realising the toll this is taking on us. I really hope so.

Oh Pav, hopefully the end is in sight and you feel a bit better tomorrow.

hopeful!

They left at 5:15pm. Blimey. I mean, seriously. DH appears to refuse/forget to ask him the things I need him to ask though, even when presented with the perfect opportunity, he will just not do or say anything that might provoke something negative from the bloke. He seems happy to pay much more to fix things than ask him a simple question.

He asked me, DH did, if I will be able to sleep comfortably in the room after all the stress. I said, honestly, I am not sure.

What I know is that he, the builder, has ruined this pregnancy experience. it was already hard for physical reasons, but this added stress has now taken its toll to be honest.

I have 10 weeks to go officially. 8 weeks if DD was anything to go by. We have 4 weeks of decorating at to do, even with our friends offering to help, there is so much to do. I cannot buy anything for the baby until there is somewhere to put it. I have for the first, and likely last time 7 weeks which I was going to spend with DD, relaxing, trying to get my head sorted for having another baby, and all I am going to be doing is tidying, cleaning, decorating. In fact, I will be unable to do much of the decorating which I have been so looking forward to, with a passion. I will have to watch others do it.

I know, i know, people do this all the time. But we started this project in june so that, even with hiccups, we would be finished by beginning of september, so that September and October would be doing filly things, you know, tweeking, buying cushions, enjoying the new space, getting use to it, settling DD.

He has fucked it. And I am still angry and I am thinking I wish I had just lived in a cramped flat as I do not feel pleased with the place now, all I see are faults.

sorry for the moan. I have just been sick again and feeling sorry for myself. DD has wet herself, for the second time in 2 days, and I am worried its because of all this . She has not done it before (once, when she had a snowsuit on and could not get it off in time).

well it certainly looks like he is putting some more hours in - maybe his wife is a mumsnetter and has given him hell?

How long do you think it will be till the finish now?

At least it is all heading in the right direction now!I still don't understand why your dh won't challenge him it would really get results!I think they should paint it for you for free after all the hassle they've caused you!

I am not surprised you feel the way you do. I think your DH should really get tough though.

Rather than any more 'misunderstandings' about things is it worth making a list of all that still needs doing and go through it with the builder so that you know he can't say he didn't know. IYKWIM!

Buda I am going to have to. It feels like I am doing all the challenging and its more and more stressful. Luckily there is no too much remedial work, not that he will really do. The things now are little things, like picking door handles. I think he is going to try to use the old ones. If he does, I will buy the ones I want to and then I will deduct this from the amount left outstanding. I am also tempting to deduct the cost of the cupboard he is no longer putting in. I will write a list and ask DH to go through it with him, so he does not 'forget' again as I just cannot face him.

DD keeps tripping up things, and she is playing in our bedroom and keeps playing with things she should not. Today has been quite emotional really and I have told her off a few times, and she has been upset and I feel very guilty. We are just on top of each other now.

Time - he said the plastering will be done by friday. Doors in by monday. Then, building inspector round, who knows? Then he needs to do other stuff like remove all the rubbish from our backyard and clean it, finish off the plastering in the front room that he has never fnished (secondary job he started at the beginning). Either that or I don't pay for it.

I wish he would do the painting. Or, perhaps not as he will mess it up I am sure. He would not give us an inch now for free and I want him gone.

Fingers crossed - gone by friday next week forever and lots of our friends have offered to come and help us decorate so I shall try really hard to stop brooding and worrying about things I cannot change.

But, I have been here before. I cannot guarantee he will not disappear again. Tomorrow, it might all be different.

Oh I so hope that by next Friday you'll see the back of him...and you can get on making it your home again. You will forget...and you will love it because once it's all done it'll just look so different.

Deep breaths - just the next week to get through. Doing the list and giving it to your DH is a good idea. Oh and I hope the acid indigestion calms down...boy, now that is evil!

Jeanjeanie Almost! I am thinking of it and trying to get excited about colours. Can you ask your DP how long we need to leave the plaster to dry before we prep it (with the dliuted emulsion). Builder said 2 days and said we could have the loft back and ready to prepare by the weekend. I personally do not beleive him but if it is true we will be up there with paint brushes as soon as it is dry enough, but don't want too soon.

Just asked DP and he says....Plaster on plasterboard is usually good for prep at around 2 days - a week to be safe. However if it's plaster on masonary (newly built or old) then you're really looking around a month to be certain. You can get away with it a bit sooner....but he recommends waiting just to be on the safe side.

You can still get excited about colours though!