AIBU - Lodger wants to have multiple guests over

questionandanswerplease · 2024-07-09T14:25:57+00:00

Potential lodger looking to rent a room in my home. They have asked to be able to have friends visit them, and also to be able to have two relatives visit and stay overnight at a time. They are renting a double bedroom. So, ideally 3 can't sleep in there at once. Also, I live a quiet life and would like to keep it so. I'm uncomfortable with people coming to socialise in my home. How do people on MN approach these kinds of requests from their lodgers?

nootropics · 09/07/2024 15:27

good luck with your hunt but unfortunately my place isn’t appropriate for what you’d like

ActualChips · 09/07/2024 15:28

Just reply that the room has been taken, wait for a different applicant.

GruntledGoblin · 09/07/2024 15:28

If it's not going to suit you then I would advise choosing a different lodger whose lifestyle is more compatible with yours. Why set yourself and your lodger up for frustration/resentment etc. If the lodger's not moved in yet then that's fine, isn't it?

nootropics · 09/07/2024 15:28

on the upside

it’s a positive how open they’re being with you

that is a good sign

FactoryResetNeeded · 09/07/2024 15:29

I think it’s quite reasonable that they be allowed visitors, within reason, but you don’t have to let guests stay. It doesn’t sound like they would be a good fit though so you are free to let the room to someone else.

KeirSpoutsTwaddle · 09/07/2024 15:36

No, unless there's another spare room they are asking to pay extra to use, that just isn't viable

Original poster

questionandanswerplease · 09/07/2024 15:44

Thanks everyone. I think I'll pass on them.
I offered one overnight twice a month. Out of consideration, I said if parents were visiting, I'd be happy for them to stay in my room if I'm away.
My thinking was that most parents wouldn't visit so often especially in someone else's home. But the potential lodger has now requested the contract to be amended to max 2 guest per night to cover their parents and friends. They also want locks on their door, 3 days notice before inspecting their room, and also want other kind gestures such as using my garage that they are not ideally entitled to to be written into the contract.

OP posts:

LightDrizzle · 09/07/2024 15:46

Massive red flags all over this one. Politely decline.

GoingDownLikeBHS · 09/07/2024 15:47

Bloody hell, don't let the door hit their arse on the way out!! And please don't do things like offering your bed to people's guests that's a thread in the making!!

TomatoSandwiches · 09/07/2024 15:47

Find someone else, this person seems pushy, remember this is YOUR house, YOU and you alone get to decide the terms of what you find acceptable.

LaurieFairyCake · 09/07/2024 15:48

Definitely not to ANY of that, it's not their home - why are they getting it confused with a tenancy ?

I wouldn't allow any guests and I wasn't allowed any overnight guests as a lodger - who wants to wake up to a strange man in your home

muddyford · 09/07/2024 15:49

No to all that. Find someone else.

PossumintheHouse · 09/07/2024 15:50

Two guests per night!? Absolutely fucking not! What are they planning to do, rent out their additional space!? They're crackers, tell them to jog on tae fuck.

Limerickgal · 09/07/2024 15:54

Loads of red flags!!
As someone who has rented out a room twice before, this is the time to be very picky as you have to live with them. I have very specific requirements when choosing a tenant to make sure the fit is correct between me and them. This is your home and that has to take priority.

BruFord · 09/07/2024 15:56

The other issue is that multiple guests mean more expenses for you to cover. Three people=three showers, for example.

PossumintheHouse · 09/07/2024 15:59

"Your requirements don't suit me, so I've decided to go with another candidate. Good luck with your search." (lol)

IsadoraQuagmire · 09/07/2024 16:01

No way! Totally unreasonable.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 09/07/2024 16:04

How many bathrooms do you have? Would they expect to use yours?

And cooking...

Offering YOUR bed, what about bedding, laundry?

You are severely at risk at being outnumbered in your own home. 😱

I'm unsettled just reading the thread...

Meadowwild · 09/07/2024 16:05

questionandanswerplease · 09/07/2024 15:44

Thanks everyone. I think I'll pass on them.
I offered one overnight twice a month. Out of consideration, I said if parents were visiting, I'd be happy for them to stay in my room if I'm away.
My thinking was that most parents wouldn't visit so often especially in someone else's home. But the potential lodger has now requested the contract to be amended to max 2 guest per night to cover their parents and friends. They also want locks on their door, 3 days notice before inspecting their room, and also want other kind gestures such as using my garage that they are not ideally entitled to to be written into the contract.

They sound like they'd be better suited to a tenancy. Being a lodger works best if it is a short term arrangement or a play to stay midweek if you work away from home.

Sugarsnapper · 09/07/2024 16:08

No way. We had a lodger for a year, a medical student who stayed with us week days. Never heard a peep from her. Keep looking

KievLoverTwo · 09/07/2024 16:08

questionandanswerplease · 09/07/2024 15:44

Thanks everyone. I think I'll pass on them.
I offered one overnight twice a month. Out of consideration, I said if parents were visiting, I'd be happy for them to stay in my room if I'm away.
My thinking was that most parents wouldn't visit so often especially in someone else's home. But the potential lodger has now requested the contract to be amended to max 2 guest per night to cover their parents and friends. They also want locks on their door, 3 days notice before inspecting their room, and also want other kind gestures such as using my garage that they are not ideally entitled to to be written into the contract.

Sounds like the person has had a really bad time of it in the past and is trying to protect themselves.

Having two people stay over regularly is a bit much; asking for a bit of garage space isn't unreasonable; wanting locks on your door is quite reasonable; wanting 3 days' notice of room inspections is extreme. However, I lived with a LL who stalked me within his home once, and let himself into my room whenever the hell he felt like it when I wasn't there, so I can understand how someone could have such an extreme reaction.

I don't think your not-going-to-be Lodger has even the slightest inkling that getting a 'x may stay over y times' written into a Lodger Agreement might as well be written on bog roll - because that's precisely how seriously courts take Lodger Agreements. You are no better off having one than in not having one.

I'm sorry your not-going-to-be Lodger seems to have had a rough time of it, but if they don't calm down their list of demands to future LLs, they're NEVER going to find a room to rent.

godmum56 · 09/07/2024 16:09

a locked door and 3 days notice to enter? Not in my house!

Original poster

questionandanswerplease · 09/07/2024 16:15

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 09/07/2024 16:04

How many bathrooms do you have? Would they expect to use yours?

And cooking...

Offering YOUR bed, what about bedding, laundry?

You are severely at risk at being outnumbered in your own home. 😱

I'm unsettled just reading the thread...

2 bathrooms. I have mine, they have theirs, although it's to be shared with the 3rd room but I've purposely left the 3rd room empty to avoid crowding the home.
Thanks for the awakening. I could easily get outnumbered. I never have visitors. I meet my friends outside. So, could see how the outnumbering could become the norm.

OP posts:

CoffeandTiaMaria · 09/07/2024 16:15

Dear god! It sounds more like you’ll have three lodgers in the one room!
Just say no ffs.
Why on earth would you offer your room? They could be making money out of you every time you’re away, letting your room to anyone!
Wise up OP.

StormingNorman · 09/07/2024 16:15

Don’t take them in as a lodger if your lifestyles don’t align.