AIBU - Lodger wants to have multiple guests over

[questionandanswerplease]

Potential lodger looking to rent a room in my home.

They have asked to be able to have friends visit them, and also to be able to have two relatives visit and stay overnight at a time. They are renting a double bedroom. So, ideally 3 can't sleep in there at once. Also, I live a quiet life and would like to keep it so. I'm uncomfortable with people coming to socialise in my home.

How do people on MN approach these kinds of requests from their lodgers?

They sound more suited to an HMO type of set up rather than living in your home.

This. Don't accept them now even if they backtrack.

If they want their parents staying then their parents can find a B&B. Your home is not a B&B. Just turn them down.

Does it? If this is true, this guy sounds like a scammer. Sounds like a group of them looking to take over someone's home and make it hard to get them evicted.

Run a mile. I can't understand why you'd even consider this.

Yes, you can't have locks as a lodger. It's really important, it implies a tenancy then things can get messy legally.

Lodgers can be asked to leave with as little as a weeks notice and for any reason. A tenant you'd have to go to court to evict them, having followed all the correct paperwork processes/LL responsibilities to be successful in the eviction (which LL probably hasn't done if they think it's a lodger) and it can take months, meanwhile lodger/tenant could stop paying, trash your house, steal your stuff etc.

If they want a lock on their door they need to rent a room in a HMO. Then they get the tenancy and rights they so obviously want, it's just for a room with shared facilities and not a sole use house/flat. These people either don't understand the difference between a tenancy on a HMO room and being a lodger renting a room. Or they're deliberately planning to take over OPs home, knowing she will have a hell of a job evicting them when they're basically a tenant without a tenancy agreement. Especially if they have someone (retired parents?) there all the time, so she can't even change the locks while they're out and argue it in court later. Because they'd call police who'd put a stop to the illegal eviction.

TBH I think they're planning on taking over the house. 2 guests per night, parents staying over, use of the garage written into the tenancy, locks on door and notice to inspect room... OP would end up effectively living as the lodger in her own home I suspect, whilst her actual lodger moves their family in and takes her home over for themselves.

Actual lodgers are a lot easier to deal with, you just sling them out if they misbehave and change your locks. Homeowner sets all the rules, lodger having no rights to demand anything.

This actually frightens me to read. They are planning a takeover and completely taking the piss, no wonder the lodger was super nice, designed to draw you in.

2 guests per night FFS, so three lodgers for the price of one written into the contract?

Just wow. 😮

Its very reasonable that they have guests in their home from time to time

If this is not something you can compromise on maybe a lodger isnt for you ?

Two visitors staying every night means other people are going to move in. I’m absolutely astonished you offered up your own bed.

You should really reconsider having a lodger, you are going to be taken advantage of.

What's reasonable is for the homeowner to decide. Lodgers have no rights. There's a housing crisis in UK. OP doesn't have to not have a lodger just because you (or some potential lodgers) don't like her rules. Plenty will be fine with a decent roof over their heads and won't care about what the rules are.

When you're a lodger you're renting a place to stay, not a home. Subtle but significant difference. Think of it as being a sort of paying guest, if you like. You're expected to cause no trouble to the homeowner and to do your living outside the home. That's not to say you can never ever have anyone round, but you don't treat the place as if it's your home, inviting all and sundry over whenever you feel like it including overnights and leave them there whilst you nip to the shop or head off to work etc. It's not a house-share. The homeowner shouldn't feel outnumbered, overrun with visitors or generally inconvenienced.

It might sound hellish to you but I've been a lodger and it worked well, the upsides are

1. you're renting with someone who owns their home and hopefully takes care of it,
2. because they live there they've hopefully chosen someone similar to themselves as a lodger, meaning the lodger also benefits from eg not living with a party animal if they're not one themselves,
3. safety and security of having sensible others around who being the homeowner has a vested interest in what's going on in their house. I believe you're less likely to get your stuff stolen as a lodger versus living in a HMO where the other residents won't necessarily give a damn about you or have any curiosity about who's fiddling with your lock and may themselves be thieves,
4. bathroom and kitchen are likely to be cleaner and more hygienic,
5. you possibly get to live in a better part of town.

@tosleeptodream thank you. My home is all that you describe and more! It's well taken care of and atypical of an HMO.
When I was a lodger, my priority was having a decent roof over my head in a decent neighbourhood, not fighting for my friends and families right to be there, putting locks on doors, bringing two overnight guests at once but stressing that as all-bills-inclusive, they'll never pay part of the difference if the bill is higher than usual, decreasing the 'no-loud-music' hours etc
Talk about pushing boundaries and misplaced priorities.

Be very careful op. There are scams involving lodgers who target landlords who travel; and they use that opportunity to take over the house, change locks, put the services in their names etc and become squatters.

Please do not accept this person as your lodger.

You will soon feel like your home is not your home.

And as for the locked door, they're really pushing their luck.

I hope you find someone far more suitable and well, normal soon.

Run - this has red flags all over it