Massive Property headache - need hand hold

[propertydisaster]

So we bought a property back in January in our dream area. It is very much a doer upper.

just some back ground we’ve come back via different part of world and UK and have owned and renovated 3 lovely properties previously.

This is a very popular and pricey area we accepted we were going to have to make sacrifices and that the majority (4 yrs I’ve been keeping my eye on this market now so have insight) of properties that come up in our price band have been owned by elderly individuals and are in various states of needing updating.

We took a hit on the type of house (period and size/footprint) and immediate loc/plot (house backs onto primary school and on bus route, plus much smaller garden than would have liked) to be where we wanted to be and have what we hoped would be the money to renovate and make it really lovely/nicely speced. We pretty much immediately had to can any plans of even a small extension. No really biggie got over quickly. We really don’t want a massive house.

However it has taken us 8 months nearly of our architects dragging their heels and builders taking ages to quote to finally get the quotes back (5 in total) way way over, 50% over what the architects initially said (spec has not changed even they’re surprised). We have got the extra money together (parents) but there is no contingency.

DH has just had the conversation with me today that he thinks we should pull out. And sell cut our losses. I mean what would this even mean financially??

I can’t even cope, on some level I know he is right, this was never intended to be the forever but we wanted something really nice, for next 6-8 yrs. like I said we are in our 40’s with kids and have worked hard, and I know I know we’re lucky than most etc, but that’s not helpful in reality.

We’ve looked at de-specing but just feels like too much of a stop gap then and starting a the bottom, and even then it is objectively still an awful lot of money and emotional effort and time to be spending that on something that wasn’t really what we wanted.

As well things I was prepared to ignore and hopefully in time forget about (bus route school etc) for the original discussed figures felt doable, at this level it feels like a deal breaker.

we are in a rental and it is bloody awful, similar to the house we bought as in fully pensioner, plus v cold, damp, boiler on blink needs updating. The thought of been here any longer with no end in sight is pushing me over the edge. Nice rental properties are like hens teeth.

Just been to look at new build it goes against my very core, our previous houses have been such a reflection of us and what we love and have been laboured over, I am depressed at the thought of having something very likely poorly constructed and Homogenous - but I know I’m being a bit of a div.

What the heck do we do.

Be aware if you are having discussions regarding reducing the spec with the builders, if Items are in anyway related to the building regs you will need approval from the Architects on the changes because if they don’t comply/ meet standards the Architect may not sign off on them.
Most builders are not familiar with the complexities of the building regs.

Thanks @Bored1000 the architect was there too so should have been okay, most related to the garage conversion i.e just not doing and and the finish of other room and no of bathrooms which aren't covered by the warrant thankfully.

Well, I actually don’t live in St A now….mainly for all the reasons you’re struggling. But grew up there and still work there every day and have family/friends etc. I don’t know if your kids are settled in one of the schools, but if not - it would be worth looking just a bit outside of the town because you not only get much more for your money, but housing is often nicer and the communities more “real”. I find St A an odd place to be much of the time, as so few families - just pensioners, tourists and students. A very different place than when I was growing up there :(

@squareofthehypotepotenuse I think that's what we're thinking, we're just really passionate about not using the car so often and St A. is really one of those places where you 'can' in theory live on a nice street and walk/cylcle to school and all amenities, inc the high street. I spent half my time in the car in England and just didn't want that again.

It really is quite an odd demographic isn't it, I suppose many places might have been like that at one point but perhaps it is just taking longer here for the natural lifecycle to wash through.

There are so many famlies like us with young children who want to get in but are just being blocked at every turn even now when the houses that have been owned by the same people for 30-60 years are starting to become avaialble at pace the cost of making them modern and economical is just too prohibitive. We thought we'd cracked it, it's all very well people saying just move in, when in reality no one would really want to move into ahome they didn't like when they have some financial means to choose another option.

I know people think I am being spoilt but I don't understand what is wrong with wanting to update and make a really great, practical and modern family home out of something that is already there. I suppose the mistrust in any sort of aspiration or wanting a simpler life (spoiler alert the rest of the developed world don't wash their smalls in the kitchen and hang them out to dry next their bedroom radiator) is why the UK finds itself in the position it does.

no one thinks you are spoilt for wanting to update an old house - that's what the majority of British people do (you will notice most of our housing stock is old). we think you are spoilt as you are refusing to live in a perfectly serviceable if old fashioned house until it is updated.

The U.K finds itself in the position it does because of years of cheap debt being poured into property not because people are jealous of aspiration, if people could buy a house at a decent price there would be plenty of money left over to decorate! Now really isn`t the time to be buying property, wait for interest rates to do their work of bringing down prices first.

And simultaneously saying 'why shouldn't I do up my house while living elsewhere if I can afford it' while moaning that it's a catastrophe because you can't.

Just paint it and stop being so dramatic.

I live in my preferred location - London - but that means I don't have a utility room or a drying room. Like huge amonts of people in the UK I have a small kitchen with a washer dryer and a laundry rack that goes outside when the weather is nice.

@Ginmonkeyagain its not living in that (we have lived in a rental for yonks which is the exactly the same) it is living through the renovations.

Done it before didn’t want to do it again. We chatted or through yesterday and there’s going to be lots of points - when all the windows are out in February for instance when we just can’t really be there.

@CrashyTime im bit talking about property per se more far reaching than that, this attitude of well we have managed so will continue to manage and how dare anyone suggest anything more sensible. We have a an 8m x 3m garage and one tiny car which we can park on a very big drive - The attitude that it is ‘landed gentry’ (not you that said that I know) to turn this into a useable, practical space for things other counties just have as standard is definitely part of the attitude that is now holding the uk back. It would be far more acceptable to many for me to leave that massive space to the spiders.

So all the windows are out at the same time? I've lived in houses where we had the windows replaced and,yes, it was annoying, but we managed.

I think you’re being unfair TBH. Most people have made sensible suggestions and tried to emphasise that if you can’t afford what you want in your preferred area, one option is not to do everything up front and do it gradually. That’s what most people who aren’t billionaires do to get a fabulous house and the majority of people responding would appear to prefer to do that than than move into an “all done” modern house on an estate. Plus there are likely to be financial advantages in most cases in doing the former. You’d prefer to buy a modern house that you don’t love in a less good area rather than undergo the upheaval/ risk still not liking the house after the work. That’s a perfectly valid choice, but from your first post it wasn’t clear you’d already discounted a minor renovation (and why), so that’s why most people responded as they did.

I still don't think you are understanding your financials. You budgeted 100k for the building and decorating works.

When your architect said you needed well over 120k you had to get a 40k gift from your parents as you cannot afford to do it yourselves.

When you finally get quotes you realise it's going to cost at least 200k.

This is double your initial budget. Again you are having to get this money from your parents. In the meantime, you are spending on rent so your budget is decreasing by thousands each month.

You may have money in the bank at the moment but you have (or should have) ring fenced that for the building works so in effect, yes, you are broke. You've bought a house that you can't afford to live in because you act as if you have the luxury of money to throw away. None of this makes financial sense.

@propertydisaster you do have a point that being aspirational about your home is seen as a bit entitled. The housing stock means that a lot of unsuitable homes are seen as acceptable. I think you need to really decide if you want to renovate and if you aren't committed to the house it probably isn't worth it. It's not just the money there id a lot of waiting and its massively time consuming to get right and there is a risk it could go wrong. Good tradespeople are also very difficult to find.

How is it "more sensible" to buy a house in January, leave it lying empty all year and still be handwringing about what to do with it at the end of September?

I know people think I am being spoilt but I don't understand what is wrong with wanting to update and make a really great, practical and modern family home out of something that is already there.

There is nothing wrong with it at all. But insisting on doing it while living somewhere else and then moaning about what a disaster it is is what is annoying people.

Most of us don’t have the luxury of living in one house while doing up another. We have no option but to move in as it is and deal with it.

@propertydisaster based on what you have said, I would be tempted to do windows, doors, boiler , make floors look good , decorate the worst bits and sell . I thing things like windows and doors will make it more saleable - I would also move into it if only for a few months at sale time as it's far easier for someone else to imagine it as a home if it's not totally empty. Might cost you £35k - I think you will get it back on sale if it's a desirable area.

None of this makes much sense.

Paying a mortgage and rent for months on end. Spending well north of £100k without extending and with kitchen and bathroom costs on top. Planning to borrow vast sums from parents to cover it. Realising 9 months on that it’s overspecced and spending that amount of money breaks the ceiling price for properties in the area.

Making snippy comments about Britons’ laundry habits (which are often dictated by lack of outdoor space or weather or unwillingness to contribute to fucking the planet by running tumble driers) is a distraction.

Can't get past the 'pensioner beige' comment 🙄

Also if you took out the garage bits and just managed with a washing machine in there for a bit, re-sited the kitchen internally with minimal wall knocking around and maybe a nice set of patio doors, re-did one bathroom and revamped the other one (maybe a bit of tile paint, new vinyl floor and new taps) and, only did the windows on the front (where the bus noise bothers you), redecorated but left the heating for the time being wouldn’t it still be a nice family house? That’s what I would do in your position. But I agree that if you’re sure you’d rather live in the modern house than the house you’ve bought with that sort of thing done then yes, see if you can sell in the first instance.

It really sounds like your eyes and desires were bigger than your bank balance. Location and period seemed more important.

And, what is wrong with a small kitchen? You can live with it for now .
Trouble is, you want to change it all and cannot afford it. It sounds like you wanted the ubiquitous vast kitchen/living /diner with velux windows, dangly pendant lights, vast kitchen island with a huge utility/storage area, bi-fold doors , full en-suites and everything else from an interiors magazine.

Just spruce it up then sell it.

Then save up to buy what you wanted in the first place.

Cut your losses and find something within your budget.

Uh uh no, no people do not have a problem with aspiration, no not at all……see above 😑

Most people live in a property and get the windows done. They have no choice. Window companies are used to that.