Massive Property headache - need hand hold

[propertydisaster]

So we bought a property back in January in our dream area. It is very much a doer upper.

just some back ground we’ve come back via different part of world and UK and have owned and renovated 3 lovely properties previously.

This is a very popular and pricey area we accepted we were going to have to make sacrifices and that the majority (4 yrs I’ve been keeping my eye on this market now so have insight) of properties that come up in our price band have been owned by elderly individuals and are in various states of needing updating.

We took a hit on the type of house (period and size/footprint) and immediate loc/plot (house backs onto primary school and on bus route, plus much smaller garden than would have liked) to be where we wanted to be and have what we hoped would be the money to renovate and make it really lovely/nicely speced. We pretty much immediately had to can any plans of even a small extension. No really biggie got over quickly. We really don’t want a massive house.

However it has taken us 8 months nearly of our architects dragging their heels and builders taking ages to quote to finally get the quotes back (5 in total) way way over, 50% over what the architects initially said (spec has not changed even they’re surprised). We have got the extra money together (parents) but there is no contingency.

DH has just had the conversation with me today that he thinks we should pull out. And sell cut our losses. I mean what would this even mean financially??

I can’t even cope, on some level I know he is right, this was never intended to be the forever but we wanted something really nice, for next 6-8 yrs. like I said we are in our 40’s with kids and have worked hard, and I know I know we’re lucky than most etc, but that’s not helpful in reality.

We’ve looked at de-specing but just feels like too much of a stop gap then and starting a the bottom, and even then it is objectively still an awful lot of money and emotional effort and time to be spending that on something that wasn’t really what we wanted.

As well things I was prepared to ignore and hopefully in time forget about (bus route school etc) for the original discussed figures felt doable, at this level it feels like a deal breaker.

we are in a rental and it is bloody awful, similar to the house we bought as in fully pensioner, plus v cold, damp, boiler on blink needs updating. The thought of been here any longer with no end in sight is pushing me over the edge. Nice rental properties are like hens teeth.

Just been to look at new build it goes against my very core, our previous houses have been such a reflection of us and what we love and have been laboured over, I am depressed at the thought of having something very likely poorly constructed and Homogenous - but I know I’m being a bit of a div.

What the heck do we do.

Being a pensioner and no, I don't do beige, just get the decs done if the property is liveable. I don't really understand why you don't just crack on and make it liveable. Don't bother with extensions, get the kitchen /bathroom up to standard and leave it for a while. Maybe not spend as much as you thought,but do something!

Move in now.

Spend your rent money on a room each month. It'll soon feel liveable and you'll be saving money on rent.

I can't think why you're renting a place while paying a mortgage on your own property.

Speaking as someone who is involved in a house sale at the moment, I would say, grit your teeth and live in it. Now is not the time to sell unless you have to. And it's in your dream area.

Get out of your rental, start saving the rent, slap fresh paint everywhere you can and be patient. It's amazing what you can live with. Imagine it's a year from now and you've saved a year's rent - would that get you somewhere towards starting the work? What about 2 years? Get it into a 4-5% bond and wait it out.

A week or two of painting in the evening and white paint will solve the beige look.
You have spent what 9k+ ? this year by not moving in right away
Move in save the rent even an extra 12k would help with the build budget to get a higher spec in finishes.

Just clean it and repaint the walls and move in. I thought you were going to say it had water running down the walls, no kitchen and no central heating!

Even though your agent says the house won't go on for less than you paid, offers are likely to be considerably lower - unless you got a real bargain. The market has changed a lot since you bought. Even with PP your not likley to break even imo.
I think you would be better living in it and slowly doing it up. If that takes 2 or 3 years the market will likley be recovering by then.

I'm in my 40s, I have DC. They were 9 and 5 when we moved in and are 16 and 12 now. We're slowly, slowly doing up our house. We've built an extension, knocked down a conservatory and rebuilt as a garden room, taken rooms back to brick, replaced the roof, new kitchen and bathrooms, new electrics and heating. We still haven't touched two of the rooms which remain anaglypta and beige.

It isn't horrific at all. It's what we can afford and there's something gratifying in slowly taking ownership of each room.

Your house is livable. You just don't want to compromise. Either sell or move in and take your time. Now's not the time to sell.

@Crikeyalmighty Got.it.in.one ! "I get what you are saying- with all the fancy things you planned on you could overlook the aspects you didn't like, but with just the basics improved in to bring it up three decades it no longer feels special enough to want to live there?"

@KievLoverTwo @Steev @RedLollyYellowLorry @Heronwatcher @Aavalon57 @AuroraForever @Lampzade and others apologies going to try and flesh things out a little more coherently which might try answer you and shed light better but in one go.

1. So essentially Crikey is right. When we initially moved and prior to, the intention was to buy something 'done' and modern structurally and functionally (for instance being warm and secure whilst also having things like a utility, boot room, parking), whilst accepting the decor/fittings might not be to our taste as long as not hideous we would put everything in and do at piecemeal.

2. However, in this particular area this does not exist in our price bracket or size bracket, we would have had to have gone into a two bed or find significantly more (like 250/300k more) to get this. It is a very odd property landscape. I would have considered a new build but when we moved 2 years ago there were none, 3 developers started building last year though.

3. Our previous two houses were big renos which we did piecemeal whilst living in them - it was a) worth it because the bones of the houses/plots were A+ and b) Whilst clearly a nightmare it was doable as kids had not arrived. I categorically do not want to start doing this again without kids let alone with, It is shit and depressing and hard. I would consider where the bones were A+ and or it was a forever house - this is not.

We had bought this particular house because after 18 months of renting we realised that because of point 2 we had no option but to do it ourselves but I absolutely was not prepared to live through it. We had some top line discussions with architect whilst still looking (using rental as a starter for 10 as we knew we would it be something similar we could afford) and worked out what we could afford to pay whilst keeping the rental on and doing the work. Paying for it using previous equity and savings - no money from parents at this point.

We knew the only option was a pretty ugly house and in a smaller plot than we'd hoped and a nice but just okay street. There were a couple of other downsides particular to this property, one being the bus route and primary school. Not a problem when you think you're putting shit hot windows tho!

After buying we got a firmer idea of works and prices and realised that we couldn't do it all so canned the idea of the extension before it even went to building regs. We decided that we would rather have every room done and aesthetically lovely (I have spent years with minging bedrooms and bathrooms and an ironing board in my bedroom), whilst adding what some might say are fancy but I say practical elements utilising space already there (boot area and utlitiy & laundry room for instance).

Our architects have been a nightmare though and the timescale to get to a tender package has taken over double the amount they said it would (no problems they were just slow) and likewise with getting quotes back. In that time, we have started to eat into our equity and the quote has come back 50% more than they initially said. Our parents have given us two lumps but that still leaves us about 4K short and obviously zero equity.

Whilst the rental is a f'ing mare internally it is on a lovely street, ideal size and the bones are much better than the one we have bought.

Also @KievLoverTwo yes previously always inclined to think whatever EA says is probably not true (putting it politley) but were in St Andrews in Scotland so probably is, cousin's has just sold two weeks ago for 10.8% over asking. Went to best and final 5 bids. 2 bed renovated version of the one we've just bought but less popular side of the river.

Why have you got architects involved for what essentially sounds like decorating?

You could have had all rooms looking lovely by now if you’d just cracked on with it, even after canning the extension.

@Twotooto we are knocking down/through internally changing wall positions and room configurations (where doors are etc.) in Scotland requires a building regs for this which requires proper plans.

Your time would be better spent with a good interior designer who has access to quality trades people.

@Twotooto no the kitchen is the size of postage stamp and not practical the reconfig would have transformed the usability of the property without actually doing the extension.

Too much thinks for me, I mean most people don’t have mega done up period properties.

before your 40s pass you by in cement and farrow and ball I agree with your husband. At this age it’s for an easier life, cos well you take nothing with you. Not even a needle.

@propertydisaster okay, St Andrews is probably desirable enough to continue rising in price but frankly you cannot afford a home of the standard you desire to live there, and you need to look elsewhere. Get the basic cosmetic bits done as quickly as you can and put it back on the market. Find a town you can afford.

I also agree you sound MASSIVELY spoiled and privileged here. I really don't think you are coming off the way you want but you are EXTREMELY lucky compared to most and are unnecessarily wasting money so that just makes you seem so out of touch with real struggles.

We are in a housing crisis, millions don't have anywhere suitable to live and you are taking up two houses for no good reason and bitching about it because you don't like the colour scheme.

I mean this in the nicest way but you need to wobble your head, check your entitlement and grow up a bit.

You have a house, its bought and done now. So paint it and move in and if you still don't like it sell it on ASAP. What you are currently doing is batshit and all your 'buts...' to every logical thing EVERY poster has said aren't fixing things.

Your options:

1. sell it as is
2. decorate and sell it
3. live there as is
4. decorate and live there
5. decorate, live there and then sell it (the most obvious choice, dont waste more money on rent for an equally sub par rental)

There isn't really magic other options where you get your failed dream, you just got to shit or get off the pot.

Then move in and redecorate.

I don't understand the problem.

I’m looking for the worlds smallest violin. Just get a grip and decorate.

From your update, I’m not sure it changes much. You like the street the rental is on, but it’s not yours and it doesn’t sound like the landlord is going to do it up and it’s miserable to live in. So staying there long term isn’t an option. Unless you think you could sell your house and buy him out.

If you put your house on the market, even if it sells quickly you’ll be in the rental for a few months yet and you’ll be buying a house (the new build) that you know has other compromises. You could do all that and still hate the new build. Then you’d lose more money in stamp duty because new builds may lose their value in the short term more quickly than others.

If you move in to your existing house, either get an interior designer and re-look at the plans you’ve not lost anything and you may suddenly find that you have a brainwave about how the house can be used because you live there. For example, could you not knock quite so much down and just repurpose rooms differently? Could you move the kitchen to the existing dining room? Or replace the windows at the front and leave those on the back? Could you do downstairs and then leave upstairs alone (or just redecorate). If you put a plan on mumsnet then others might have some ideas about how to do it less expensively and in the grand scheme of things it seems like you’d have less to lose.

The OP doesn't seem willing to do that. I'm not sure why if what they are doing is cosmetic and not structural- though if they want to knock through walls I'd say that was structural. But if they don't feel they can live with the disruption, they don't. Given how builders, planners and architects are in terms of time and costs, I'd always expect to have to co-exist with them in a house unless I had a few years' worth of rent to waste.
TBH I always cost and then double it when planning work. I have had some nice surprises about costs that way, but no nasty ones, even though we bought our current doer-upper a few months before covid started.....

OP, you are getting a hard time here, but I get it, especially architects not being able to price projects for the life of them.

Going back on the market very quickly without having moved in, I would be surprised if you can get 10/15% more for it. Buyers will be wary and assume that it being vacant will have introduced more problems (damp etc) and won’t have added value especially in a falling national market. They will also work out you couldn’t afford
to do the work needed, so would worry they would suffer same fate. I don’t know what price bracket you are in but St Andrew’s is pricey so presume you have already paid LBTT?

if I were you I would do what lots have suggested. Spend something to improve it cosmetically and flip it. I get you won’t want to live through a project. But if you are purely just decorating and doing small improvements you really don’t need to keep living out unless you are prepared to pay a premium to do so.

I just can't get over how much money you have wasted on renting another property all this time when you have a perfectly good house to live in! All because it's not decorated or configured quite to your liking! Maybe if you didn't have your parents money to fall back on you'd think differently. I agree with the PPs saying you sound very entitled and out of touch with reality. You want a boot room, a laundry room and a utility room? Get a grip!

OP I agree with other posters. You don't seem to have the money for what you want - plot, location, house size etc and so you need to compromise (as we all do).

Just do a basic re-decoration, live in the house and see how you feel about it. You may find that living in the space gives you different ideas about how to use it. The problem isn't going to be solved by complaining about the cost of a renovation you cant afford.

So basically you're refusing to move in because it's not ✨The one✨ all finished and Insta-worthy like you envisaged. And because of this sulky madness, you're paying rent on another property and leaving hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of bricks & mortar just sat there, empty. Whilst you live in a rented property. All because you can’t have it exactly how you wanted it?!

This is honestly like standing at a bus stop in the rain, all because your new, fully functional, fuelled up, taxed & insured car happens to be the wrong colour