Am I wrong or parents wrong? Really worried

[LCScotmum]

So I'm in my 30s and have two girls 10 and 6. I've lived in the same area as my parents all my life. My partner and I are looking to buy homes. We had agreed to be within same local authority as I havr the girls and we both work within the local authority area. We seen an amazing home it Is big enough and has an extra bedroom and under the original price we planned. My parents have hit the roof at the thought of this. To add the house is 11 miles from my parents house and my kids school so 25 min drive. I plan to keep my kids in the same school as I work 15 mins away from their school.

The current child care arrangement with my ex is 5050 so 1 week at his 1 week at mines. I personally don't see an issue driving for schools, party's, social gatherings for kids to their school area. My mum Said I was being selfish and trying to push my kids away. As teenagers they won't want to stay with me as it is so far away. I really personally don't see the issue? Am I seeing things wrong? My partner thinks they are being quite toxic.

My mum ended the conversation saying my sister and my dad ageee and they will both be phoning to say the same thing. To add my sister stays 5 min walking distance from my family. I feel really upset as the size of the house is perfect and each child can havr their own room including a future child we planned and wouldn't crush us financially as homes that size are not within our reach at my parents area.

Looking for advice on this .

Tia x

Yeah that it exactly. I pay for childcare and the kids rarely stay over unless my parents ask them to. I'm not dependant on them. I feel no matter what I do they will always make me the lesser achieving child but I am proud of qhat I have achieved within my means. Mt dad didn't help me as he promised which part of me expected. Found out later tbat he had paid my sisters partners car 4k off when they moved and gave her money towards her garage conversion or 5k . Not that I think I'm entitled to help from them as I'm an adult, just meaning there is clear favouritism in the family and yo be honest abit of space albeit not far, I'm thankful for. I feel we made the right decision for my family unit snd we have the space and financial freedom we wouldn't have elsewhere.

I think you do have to take a step back from your family because finding out what your sister and her husband have received and you have got nothing but aggro from them all it would make me want to rethink my relationship

I certainly wouldn’t want to be visiting or chatting and be wary if any of them change their attitude towards you as you know there will be strings attached.

I absolutely am taking a step back as this whole.experience has spoke volumes foe me . Just gona focus on my little family unit. My partners parents are very supportive and toldnus to only care and do what makes me my partner and the kids happy and they support us whatever. I really appreciate them and know when they come here they will have our wants at heart. I'm a really caring person and wojkd do anything for my family but I am taking a step back. I've done what is right for my family within my financial capabilities and I am proud of myself. My mum dad and sister individually make at least 15k more than me annually and they don't even take that into consideration. I'm glad everyone agreed with me saying it was toxic because according to my family I just love a drama , lol I csnt win either way x

Yes, stop telling them so much.

This is absolutely ridiculous on your mom’s side.
You are in your 30s and this has boiled my blood in so many ways!

25min is such a short commute!

In London to get from any area to the next prob double that!

Why is she using the only thing that hurts you to prove her point ( which is hypothesising what your kids will chose their father over you). That is so toxic !!

It is also great for your kids development if they do actually spent some time with a father figure. You should be glad about that !

Thanks I appreciate it. It is a complete joke and no one has said congratulations or we'll done or anything . Thry just act all sad its pathetic. My kids see their dad 5050 and I'm glad of that like u said. I miss them terribly but I know irs healthy for thrm to see both parents and now I have the house for them. I sleep more easy knowing I am providing a safe stable home for them and not renting anymore.