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Original poster

Ashamed I can't get a mortgage

116 replies

username1223 · 26/07/2021 12:18

So im in my early thirties and feeling very down and deflated lately.

I have always lived with my parents, we get on really well and it was fine. I did feel in my twenties, that this was fine as I hoped I would eventually meet somebody and we'd combine finances to move into a place of our own. For the last few years however, I have wanted to move out on my own when my hopes didn't come to anything, however I lost my job when Covid hit and it took a year before I got a new Full time job.

The new job I got, was a step up on the previous job I lost through covid. I am now at management level. However with all the extra work I do, I still only earn £20k a year. Only about 4k more on what I previously earnt. I like my job, and the field i am in, its all i've ever known. I worked up from the age of 18. Yet here I am, as far as I can realistically go, and still earning peanuts. (its a sales role btw)

My family is proud of me, I also got a car to commute to my new job. The first car ive had as I previously didnt need one as I commuted by train. But i'm constantly feeling down and depressed and comparing myself with other people.

Sure im single and wanting to move out alone. Its not exactly my choice to be single, my love life has just always been a shambles. In my late twenties I put myself out there numerous times, done all the apps etc and still nothing stuck. :( So I decided im going to have to be independant and do the moving out thing alone.

Except i've tried a few mortgage calculators and see I can't get a decent mortgage on my income with my deposit i saved from previous job. Im starting to feel like what is the point if i cant make a life for myself.

I wanted to arrange a first time buyers appointment at a bank, but im ashamed by my income and circumstance, i cant imagine sitting with someone in a office reeling off how rubbish my finances are and feeling ashamed this is where i am at in my thirties.

I have no idea what to do. My goal is to get a mortgage on a little home to call my own. But im single and on £20k a year despite working up for 10 years+. I could just cry.

OP posts:
Reallyreallyborednow · 26/07/2021 12:21

How much is your deposit and where in the country are you?

I got my first mortgage on around 20k. 3.5x salary = 70k mortgage + deposit.

Unless you’re in an expensive area and absolutely can’t move, aren’t there any studio flats or terraces within budget?

Highwind · 26/07/2021 12:22

What sort of deposit do you have? Could you look into the Nationwide Helping Hand mortgage....it may allow you to borrow 5.5x your annual salary rather than the standard 4.5x. But you need at least a 10% deposit.

BlueSurfer · 26/07/2021 12:23

Have a chat with a broker because it’s their job to find you a mortgage and then look at what is affordable from there. Would you accept shared ownership or similar?

TabithaTiger · 26/07/2021 12:28

Please don't feel ashamed. Disappointed and frustrated yes, but you've got nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm 45 and earn over £50k a year and can't afford a mortgage so I rent.

Have you looked into shared ownership? Could be an option?

PeonyTime · 26/07/2021 12:29

Ok. So you've just got a 4k pay rise. Is that an extra £200? £250? a month you can save?
Just keep plugging away at it. BUT, as people above have said, depending on where you live will hake a massive difference to if you could afford to buy something. Round me, it would totally be possible. I can well imagine in other places it would be nigh on impossible.
PS I'm in my 40s, and earn less than you.

Original poster
username1223 · 26/07/2021 12:33

So far i've only saved about 15k. Not great I know.

OP posts:
Original poster
username1223 · 26/07/2021 12:34

A basic house round here with 2 bedrooms and a garden would be around about £180 - £200k

OP posts:
FAQs · 26/07/2021 12:39

What about a 1 bed flat/house and a doer upper?

Zarene · 26/07/2021 12:42

You could look for a doer upper, but I'd be tempted to approach this from the other end.

You're clearly ambitious, committed and bright, so can you earn more than £20k?

Reallyreallyborednow · 26/07/2021 12:43

A basic house round here with 2 bedrooms and a garden would be around about £180 - £200k

So look for a studio or 1 bed flat. Houses near me are about the same, but you can get flats for 60k-70k.

If you really want to but you need to adjust your expectations to match your budget..

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 26/07/2021 12:44

Buy with a friend?

Outnumbered99 · 26/07/2021 12:47

I work for a broker and we see people like you all the time, there is no need to be ashamed at all!!
Talk it through with a broker, there might be options available to you, or at least a plan to be made.

SpacePotato · 26/07/2021 12:53

Would you move to a cheaper area?
Get a flat instead so at least you have your own place?
Rent?

Stef92 · 26/07/2021 12:57

Definitely speak with a mortgage broker and look at schemes such as shared ownership. You can buy the rest of the share when you are in a position to do so

PattyPan · 26/07/2021 13:01

That seems like quite a low salary for sales, especially for management. Can you keep looking for something better paid? Is there something holding you back eg lack of qualifications?

Andthenanothercupoftea · 26/07/2021 13:01

£15k is good! If you're rent free with your parents I assume that you could keep topping that up quite nicely!

You may have to look at the flat rather than a house and garden, but every mortgage payment would help build your equity for the next move.

You could even move closer to work so could reduce reliance on a car, allowing you to make overpayments.

Whereabouts in the country are you?

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 26/07/2021 13:04

OP, the first time most people go to a mortgage broker or to see a bank is an eye opener, no matter what age. Before then, it can be all very cloud 9 - my hypothetical partner will have half (or more!) if the deposit! I’ll go straight into a new house, rather than work my way from unit to house, or fixer-upper to nicer place.

So don’t worry - everyone has had this feeling, and felt bad about their income and/or savings. The only thing you can control now is what you do next. So book the Appt with the broker, start to save more and adjust your expectations. Maybe you have the house, but have a flatmate for 3 years to help pay. Maybe you go for a cheaper unit. Maybe you knuckle down and save for another year and look at improving your job prospects. All these choices are yours.

Trust me - almost everyone goes through it. You’ll stop spending on frivolous things to frantically build your deposit, and start to watch DIY on YouTube and when you do buy your place, it will be your first palace that you will be so proud of.

Start today!

Willowwarble · 26/07/2021 13:04

Ideas - Government help to buy scheme will give you 20% equity loan. Shared ownership scheme. As others have said buy a flat and work your way up. I was in a similar position when I started out and bought at Auction, you can still use a mortgage.

Viviennemary · 26/07/2021 13:05

I think shared ownership sould be the only way to go. And there are pitfalls with this. Your 15k savings plus 80k mortgage won't buy a house anywhere but the very very cheapest part of the country.

NavigationCentral · 26/07/2021 13:06

I wouldn’t focus on the mortgage. I would focus on considering whether increasing the 20k is doable. In X years time. What might it take in terms of CV building/training? How much might it cost? How long might it take? What could the per annum salary be in 2023? 2025?

ComtesseDeSpair · 26/07/2021 13:09

@username1223

A basic house round here with 2 bedrooms and a garden would be around about £180 - £200k
A two bedroom house with a garden is unachievable for many first time buyers, even couples earning a lot more than you, in many parts of the country. You start off small and move up if and when you can or need to.

A mortgage broker is interested in finding you a mortgage because they make money in commission from the lender. They aren’t there to judge you, they’ll be objective.

makinganavalon · 26/07/2021 13:11

Please don't be ashamed. I feel like I'll never be able to get a house of my own. It makes me sad sometimes but a lot of people are in the same boat and I've worked hard for what I do have so far, as have you, and there's never shame in that.
Pp followyourownnorthstar gave great advice xx

Flowers500 · 26/07/2021 13:27

As a Londoner, my first response to this is to say well of course you can’t expect a 2 bed house with garden as your first buy by yourself!!! Why is it this or nothing? A studio or one bed flat would surely be fine?

On the same then, your wage is low for a management position. Why? Are they underpaying you, what would you get somewhere else? Have you tired to negotiate salary, have you tried to get a different role?

Herecomesspring1 · 26/07/2021 13:31

Could you start out with a one bedroomed flat and work up to the two-bed with garden? You just need a starter home, surely?

2bazookas · 26/07/2021 13:31

@username1223

A basic house round here with 2 bedrooms and a garden would be around about £180 - £200k
Then like us. you will have to move away from parents and get a job where housing prices are within your means. Make a new life where you know nobody. As we repeatedly did in order to move up the career ladder.