Ashamed I can't get a mortgage

[username1223]

So im in my early thirties and feeling very down and deflated lately.

I have always lived with my parents, we get on really well and it was fine. I did feel in my twenties, that this was fine as I hoped I would eventually meet somebody and we'd combine finances to move into a place of our own. For the last few years however, I have wanted to move out on my own when my hopes didn't come to anything, however I lost my job when Covid hit and it took a year before I got a new Full time job.

The new job I got, was a step up on the previous job I lost through covid. I am now at management level. However with all the extra work I do, I still only earn £20k a year. Only about 4k more on what I previously earnt. I like my job, and the field i am in, its all i've ever known. I worked up from the age of 18. Yet here I am, as far as I can realistically go, and still earning peanuts. (its a sales role btw)

My family is proud of me, I also got a car to commute to my new job. The first car ive had as I previously didnt need one as I commuted by train. But i'm constantly feeling down and depressed and comparing myself with other people.

Sure im single and wanting to move out alone. Its not exactly my choice to be single, my love life has just always been a shambles. In my late twenties I put myself out there numerous times, done all the apps etc and still nothing stuck. :( So I decided im going to have to be independant and do the moving out thing alone.

Except i've tried a few mortgage calculators and see I can't get a decent mortgage on my income with my deposit i saved from previous job. Im starting to feel like what is the point if i cant make a life for myself.

I wanted to arrange a first time buyers appointment at a bank, but im ashamed by my income and circumstance, i cant imagine sitting with someone in a office reeling off how rubbish my finances are and feeling ashamed this is where i am at in my thirties.

I have no idea what to do. My goal is to get a mortgage on a little home to call my own. But im single and on £20k a year despite working up for 10 years+. I could just cry.

Hopefully a man will come along and save you 🙄🙄🙄

I hear you. My husband earns 30k and I earn 20k and we cant get a mortgage as only have 10k deposit :(

Have you got a lifetime isa, it will help boost your despoit. Also I earn 22k. 20k when I brought house. Got mortgage for 96k. Five year fixed work out just under £500 a month.

You say this thread isn’t helping you. What exactly would you like to happen though? If the salary you earn is not enough to meet your ambitions or dreams then the two options surely are to

1. either make a game plan to up the salary in x years, which is what I suggested or -

2. adjust the ambitions to fit the salary you do have and do a variety of things to teach a more manageable goal - as PP have suggested.

Is there a third option?

I hear you. My husband earns 30k and I earn 20k and we cant get a mortgage as only have 10k deposit

You could probably get 150k flat or terrace with that, unless you’re in London or an equally expensive area.

What’s your budget and what is available in your area?

Don’t talk to banks, talk to an independent mortgage brocket instead.

I would say that, despite what you think, you are in a very good position to save for deposit if your family is charging you less than the average rent for living with them.

It is a mater of being patient, or you can get a bit more creative if you dare. I have a friend who got a £50k house in a bad area a few years ago after saving 20k but rented it per room to get an income, she then saved all the income after expenses and then got a buy to let mortgage (interest only) to get another house. 10 years later he has 5 houses and moved to a nice apartment in a very desirable area. Apart of keeping lodgers per years, she has not worked full time for years. She is far from being rich and lodgers are a handful at times but she does have a very nice quality of life.

Tbh op I'd be looking for different jobs.

£20k is very low to have worked your way 'up to', in any area of the country.

My dh works in a factory, stacking and packing and his basic is £24k (and we're nowhere near London!). This is a job he walked into last year, no experience, no skills of any kind really needed.

There will be plenty of other jobs with minimum experience needed that would pay more. An extra £5k of income may be an extra £20k of mortgage you're granted.

OP, MN is great for property hunting. Tell us your current work location and I guarantee people will have some good options for you in no time.

Try to be a bit less defeatist though. There are so many people in a worse position than you. £15k is good for savings but at your age it could be more. Speak to a Financial Advisor and/or mortgage broker and give yourself a 3 year plan for pay rise (pay for some high level training- speculate to accumulate), only do a groupon holiday I'd you're desperate, plug OT like crazy and think positively. The world really is your oyster here OP, if only you could see it. This time in 3 years you could be in a lovely place that's all yours.

Good luck!

I would honestly feel like a failure if I only got a flat with 1 bedroom. All my friends are married with children and have small 2 bed houses with a garden at the same age

I'm not saying this to be mean, but surely a one bed flat of your own is less of a 'failure' than still living with your parents at your age? Also if you've lived at home all this time and have only saved £15k even on a low wage, then I am guessing you have prioritised other things rather than saving over the past few years. Nothing wrong with that of course, but actions have consequences and yours is not being able to afford the 2 bed house you want.

Exactly what Jasmine11 said.

I'm sorry but there are plenty of people worse off than you, including families crammed into small flats. Why do you think that living in a flat in your own is somehow 'beneath you'?

Frankly, after all those years of living at home, you should have been able to save far more money. I saved a lot more than that for my first deposit, and although I was earning more, I was paying £800 per month in rent, plus all bills. As others have said, you must have decided to prioritise other things, which is fine, but you now need to compromise on what you buy as your first home.

I agree with everyone saying look for a new role - it doesn’t sound like you’ll be able to achieve what you want on your salary.

I dropped out of school - I don’t even have GCSEs - but knowing that I wanted certain things in life, I carefully assessed the earning potential of a number of roles before deciding on a career and taking the relevant vocational course. I started on a salary similar to yours, and now (in my mid-30s) I earn three times that.

I would address the salary issue first, save as much as you can in the meantime and then reassess your options in a year.

In your position id save at least 3/4 of my wage and live very frugally fr a couple of years. It will pay off in the end.

@username1223 Where in the country are you based OP?

Shared ownership was how I did it. It's not perfect but it worked for me. After a few years I could buy a house with a mortgage.

I haven't read the whole thread but I really empathise with you @username1223. I also work in retail on a similar salary and I lived in a shared flat for a lot of my 20s/30s while most of my friends were getting married , having kids , buying houses and it was totally out of my league. I felt very envious and like a failure.
I was able to get on the property ladder after my mum passed away when was in my early 30s. I had just enough to buy a one bed flat. Most of the furniture was freebies/2nd hand but it was mine. I stopped comparing to my friends and started to look at the positives.
You have a different kind of independence and freedom when you don't have a partner or children.

I eventually met someone and got married when I was 40 and have now moved to the 2 bed house with garden - in a cheaper area. It is a lot more modest than my friends and siblings homes but we are happy and our friends are happy for us.

We couldn’t afford to buy our first house until we were in our 30’s and that was with 2 of us on higher incomes than yours. The rent we were paying meant it was very slow progress saving a deposit.
We then relocated so we could afford to buy, and bought within our means even though it wasn’t what we really wanted. We’re now in a position where we’re looking to move up the properly ladder, 6 years later.
Very few people have the opportunity to buy exactly what they want in the area they want as a first time buyer.