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Panicking about moving to suburbs - WYYD?

103 replies

toburbornottoburb · 09/04/2021 14:47

TLDR: I’m worried lockdown has impacted our requirements for what and where we want to buy and we’ll end up regretting our choice to move further out once London starts to open up again.

Insanely long version of events:

Myself and my other half had an offer accepted on a house in a London suburb about a month ago. We’re late 20s and FTBs. Our sellers have only found a property to buy in the last week and since then, the thought of us actually moving away from our much loved area in Zone 2/3 has sent me into a panic with many a cold sweat.

I fear the combination of lockdown brain and the craziness of the current property market got to us a bit and we made a rash choice based on immediate circumstances which won’t be permanent.

When we first started looking, our area and criteria were wildly different:

  • Flat with garden space for dog
  • Quick transport links into London for work and hobbies (I dance and take classes in central)
  • Okay green space for dog
  • Decent area with the classic millennial loves - coffee shops, good pubs, some bars etc
  • A place we’d be happy in for at least 7 years

Somehow over the course of 6 months they morphed into:

  • House
  • Decent transport links
  • Huge swathes of green space for us and the dog
  • Excellent schools for our hypothetical children
  • A place we’d be okay to live in for 10+ years if not maybe forever

I think the impact of second lockdown in London over winter (aka feeling suffocated and claustrophobic as hell) meant that we started to prioritise certain requirements over others without taking a beat. These lockdowns are not permanent, our beloved city will come back to life eventually, and I’m terrified we’ll then spend our entire time wishing we hadn’t moved so far away.

Moving to the burbs for better green space and a house was never even a consideration before the lockdowns occurred. I’m used to having activities in my immediate area - we go into central for hobbies and occasionally for a night out, but predominately our local area “nights out” are important to me - I like to support my local community. The new area doesn’t have much in the way of “basic millennial loves”…which you’d expect. It’s also full of people in quite a different stage of life to us (kids etc.)

The new list is definitely highly practical on paper and makes long-term sense, but I’m struggling with the idea that some of the reasons we're moving are hypothetical scenarios i.e. kids. We’re moving to a family focused area - we don’t want to start trying for kids for at least 2 years so we won’t actually need the facilities of a “good family area” for 3 (if all goes well), and definitely won’t need excellent schools for about 7-8 years.

My other half is far more logical and rational than I am - I’m definitely an emotion and gut person. He is quite happy with the area (he’d be happy most places as he’s far more easy going than I), and is frustrated with my back and forth (understandably)…he also loves the house. The house is lovely, but it’s the area I’m having wobbles over. He’s also stated as I’m the one who is unsure, it’s ultimately my decision…which is piling the pressure on and I don't want him to be unhappy.

If you were in our shoes, WWYD? Find somewhere further in for the shorter term to enjoy, or bite the bullet, move further out and just accept that while in the short-medium term it’s not quite the right fit, long-term it makes sense.

Our budget is approx 650K, which gets you a decent flat where we live now, or a house further out...we could extend to 700K if it was the right home.

I know it sounds ridiculous - the burbs are not the sticks and you'd think I was moving to a village in the back of beyond with the way I'm talking! That being said, I'm London born and bred so it's a relatively big change for me. Equally I'm aware of how much of a privileged position we're in to even have this (seriously first world) "problem".

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 09/04/2021 14:53

It is a nice problem to have Wink

I’d go somewhere in London with a sort-of-villagey vibe that ticks your boxes. Greenwich, blackheath, Crystal Palace - that sort of place. You’d get plenty for your money, still be a short hop to central but also around lovely green space and decent cafes / bars but also great for families if you had one.

Your budget will easily get you a really beautiful flat in one of the Victorian / Georgian mansions or a small house with garden around there

If in 10 years you want more space, you can move further out then but that kind of set up would work perfectly for now

ShirleyPhallus · 09/04/2021 14:54

Oh sorry, I’ve just seen you’ve had an offer accepted. Where is it?

arthurdaly · 09/04/2021 15:02

Personally I'd look at the longer term plan. When we bought our house we weren't planning on having children but now we have it's far from ideal (wrong area, crap schools etc) so are moving to somewhere which fits us better.
We wish we could go back and buy something more long term rather than what's ended up being a short term house.
Good luck

Kamma89 · 09/04/2021 15:07

Moved to the burbs. Hated it. Especially with no children. Unexpected inheritance moved back to zone 3. Less space, way happier! London born & bred.

Next move would be new city or properly out.

Charley50 · 09/04/2021 15:10

Where is it?!

Pupster21 · 09/04/2021 15:13

I’m not very up on London living but for me my regrets from house buying are that out first property was a typical first time buyer house, 2 up 2 down cottage in a nice suburb. I wish we’d just gone for the family home which would have made more financial sense. 2 years is no time at all if you’re thinking of potential children then, mat leave with a garden makes it so much more enjoyable. I think you’d soon outgrow a flat.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 09/04/2021 15:24

I’m in the same situation, I basically decided I’d rather live in half the space in zone 2. When you’re back at work and seeing people and doing hobbies every day, extra rooms or green spaces nearby are just a waste of money. Everything that makes London great is in the middle, the suburbs are for when you NEED the extra space or get older and want a quiet life.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 09/04/2021 15:25

It sounds like you could afford to live somewhere nice like Islington/Angel/east London e.g. Stoke Newington/Chelsea borders?

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 09/04/2021 15:27

I really think a lot of smug people are going to move into houses on the edge of London and then seriously regret it when they’re paying £60 on ubers to get home after a night out, or unable to just casually go to something cultural

skeggycaggy · 09/04/2021 15:27

If you’re willing to talk about specific areas you could get great feedback.

GCAcademic · 09/04/2021 15:30

I grew up in a London suburb. Sorry, but I hated it. It's the worst of both worlds: far enough from all the good stuff in London that it takes an age to travel in, and close enough that you still get a lot of traffic, pollution and crime. The motto I've lived by since is that you either live in the city centre or out in the country. I live somewhere rural now and can be in central London in not much more than the time it took to get in from suburbia.

merryhouse · 09/04/2021 15:31

I'm seriously intrigued by a place in London that doesn't have a coffee shop.

I'm in a suburban village in the north-east, and I can think of two (independent and small chain) coffee shops 15 minutes walk from me (different directions). Loads of pubs. Admittedly we'd have to go into town for a bar.

Chihuahuacat · 09/04/2021 15:33

I’m in your exact position and we went for a nice 4 - 7 year large flat and garden somewhere trendy.

It probably doesn’t make sense financially, but I’m not ready for the burbs and good schools yet.

I also didn’t want to tempt fate and buy a beautiful family home in a great area (with a larger mortgage and stamp duty bill) in case the worst happens and it turns out we couldn’t have children for whatever reason.

So for me, we chose what suits us now, as you never know what will happen. I could also have a child and decide I still love the trendy ‘fun’ place!

Chihuahuacat · 09/04/2021 15:33

P.s. I also know i would prefer my maternity leave in the fun place I currently live.

Pupster21 · 09/04/2021 15:37

@merryhouse

I'm seriously intrigued by a place in London that doesn't have a coffee shop.

I'm in a suburban village in the north-east, and I can think of two (independent and small chain) coffee shops 15 minutes walk from me (different directions). Loads of pubs. Admittedly we'd have to go into town for a bar.

Same. I’m in a greater Manchester suburb, moved from central Manchester when buying. I have 6 bars in walking distance, 1 live music venue, 5 restaurants and 2 coffee shops and I’m not in a very trendy area. They’re a 5-10 minute drive away.
CoddledAsAMommet · 09/04/2021 15:42

Don't move to the suburbs. Your soul will die.

Elsiebear90 · 09/04/2021 15:43

You have to take into consideration that it’s very costly buying and selling houses, especially £700,000 ones. If you’re planning on trying for kids in two years then it makes more financial sense to buy a house that’s suitable for a family rather than a small flat. Two years is not that long at all, and you’d probably be better off carrying on renting for the new few years if you would want to sell and buy a larger home in less than five years.

toburbornottoburb · 09/04/2021 15:54

I wasn't quite expecting so many replies so quickly - Thank you all so much, it's really helping my scrambled brain and quite reassuring to know i'm not mad because i'm struggling with this decision.

It seems there are differing opinions which I expected. I'll try and come back to everyone who answered with qs etc. The bit about the burbs and souls made me lol.

I'm perhaps being a bit harsh with the "no coffee shops" - there definitely are, they're just...a different vibe to what i'm used to - for example, they're grab and go kind of places. Not ones you can work or have a drink in.

I'm a bit nervous to put exactly where it is as I don't want to unintentionally offend anyone - it's all very personal. It's zone 4 in S.E London.

OP posts:
toburbornottoburb · 09/04/2021 15:56

Sorry zone 5! Not zone 4...not that there is that much of a difference

OP posts:
toburbornottoburb · 09/04/2021 15:56

@ShirleyPhallus

Oh sorry, I’ve just seen you’ve had an offer accepted. Where is it?
Thanks for replying - definitely is a nice problem to have ;). I'm a bit nervous to put exactly where it is as I don't want to unintentionally offend anyone - it's all very personal. It's zone 5 in S.E London.
OP posts:
toburbornottoburb · 09/04/2021 15:58

@Chihuahuacat

I’m in your exact position and we went for a nice 4 - 7 year large flat and garden somewhere trendy.

It probably doesn’t make sense financially, but I’m not ready for the burbs and good schools yet.

I also didn’t want to tempt fate and buy a beautiful family home in a great area (with a larger mortgage and stamp duty bill) in case the worst happens and it turns out we couldn’t have children for whatever reason.

So for me, we chose what suits us now, as you never know what will happen. I could also have a child and decide I still love the trendy ‘fun’ place!

Are...are you me?!

This is where my head is currently at. The latter point of children being a huge point when I talk to my partner.

OP posts:
MiddayMadDog · 09/04/2021 15:58

I moved to the suburbs and I HATE it. I would never recommend it at all. Suburbs aren't places to live in. They are places to sleep in. If you want to live, don't move to the suburbs.

toburbornottoburb · 09/04/2021 16:00

@Pupster21

I’m not very up on London living but for me my regrets from house buying are that out first property was a typical first time buyer house, 2 up 2 down cottage in a nice suburb. I wish we’d just gone for the family home which would have made more financial sense. 2 years is no time at all if you’re thinking of potential children then, mat leave with a garden makes it so much more enjoyable. I think you’d soon outgrow a flat.
Thanks. We'd have to get a garden flat for the dog but yes, the long-term plan makes more sensible financial sense.
OP posts:
Apparentlystillchilled · 09/04/2021 16:00

You're in your 20s? No way I'd buy in zone 4 if you enjoy central London. It will be a pain to get home late at night. Buy somewhere you're excited about and think about schools etc in 5 years, when/if you have children.

toburbornottoburb · 09/04/2021 16:02

@Elsiebear90

You have to take into consideration that it’s very costly buying and selling houses, especially £700,000 ones. If you’re planning on trying for kids in two years then it makes more financial sense to buy a house that’s suitable for a family rather than a small flat. Two years is not that long at all, and you’d probably be better off carrying on renting for the new few years if you would want to sell and buy a larger home in less than five years.
An excellent point. I know those who have had kids in flats who are happy, and also those are tearing their hair out even without kids, so I guess it's just so personal.

Issue with continuing to rent is that if this boom continues, I think we might end up priced out of both options in a few years. We have considered taking a short term step back to reevaluate though. Once we're through the lockdown brain haze.

OP posts: