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Original poster

Need to build extension that will most likely cover at least half the patio

398 replies

Fressia123 · 22/11/2020 12:30

I've been reading about the "half the land around the original house". We live in an end of terrace with a tiny patio (3x5m) and need to build some sort of extension that will create a 4th bedroom. Is this impossible?

OP posts:
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7
DENMAN03 · 22/11/2020 19:10

In 5 years time the 13 year old will be 18 so is he likely to want to stay weekends? And if he does can he stay in the dining room?

Original poster
Fressia123 · 22/11/2020 19:11

Yes but even in one year baby will be two and need his own room. Realistically DSS will.love out in 5/6 years the In-between doesn't sound ideal.

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 22/11/2020 19:12

@Fressia123

Because we're sleeping in the dining room (which some in the household including DSS find awkward). And because what will happen when the baby gets older?
I've looked at your floor plan and the image isn't clear enough for the writing to be legible; on the plan, is the living room on the left and the dining room on the right? So you're sleeping in the room which has the stairs in it; ie everyone has to go through the room when they go up and downstairs and want to get to the kitchen? Why not sleep in the living room which is more private as it can be closed off completely. Get a really good sofa bed that is comfortable both as a sofa and as a bed.
Chumleymouse · 22/11/2020 19:12

Just get a little log cabin type thing in the garden if it’s only 8 nights a month, it’s no different to sleeping in a tent, run an extension lead in there for lights etc.... even if the council knew about it ( grassed up by neighbours) there would be no way they would know when and how many nights and it would be impossible for them to enforce anything.

I used to always sleep in a tent on school holidays when I was a kid and I was a lot younger than 13.

AnotherEmma · 22/11/2020 19:14

@Fressia123

The box room fits a single high sleeper. Under it DSS has a desk so no room for a travel cot. Like I've mentioned housed within our budget were 1hr away from schools.
What about a studybed for the box room? They're not cheap but they're a lot cheaper than £25k!
imabusybee · 22/11/2020 19:14

@Fressia123

Yes but even in one year baby will be two and need his own room. Realistically DSS will.love out in 5/6 years the In-between doesn't sound ideal.
But the baby will have his own room to sleep in at age 2, he will just sleep with you for those 8 nights a month? Which at that age he will see as a treat tbh. This is far preferable to a situation in which a teenager within a blended family feels like an afterthought/inconvenience - it could cause long term problems for him and how he feels about his whole family. He should be the priority as toddler/preschoolers are much less aware of their living situations and accept whatever is given to them.
titchy · 22/11/2020 19:15

@Fressia123

Yes but even in one year baby will be two and need his own room. Realistically DSS will.love out in 5/6 years the In-between doesn't sound ideal.
Baby will have own room. Box room is baby's room. Own room. Got it? Box room is baby's own room. Repeat box room is baby's room.
AnotherEmma · 22/11/2020 19:17

@Fressia123

I agree with all of that but in 5 years time it would be exactly the same and unsustainable.
In 5 years time you might hopefully be able to afford to move to a 4 bedroom house or at least a bigger 3 bedroom house with potential to add a bedroom.

Baby will be at school so you will be able to work more hours and have lower childcare costs.

You need a solution that works now and can then adapt as the children grow.

titchy · 22/11/2020 19:17

I'm thinking OP just doesn't like her DSS and wants him out of sight out of mind. All The really cheap simple solutions are met with a really flakey 'yeah but...' Sad

Tinyhumansurvivalist · 22/11/2020 19:19

Qow I was expecting you to say dss was 17 or older not 13. You cannot out him out in a shed especially with no heating out there. You have to know that is ridiculous.

Why on earth are you sleeping in the dining room when you have enough bedrooms for you all? As has been repeatedly said to you, box room for dss until ds needs his own room which would be 4-5 realistically. The girls on one of the bigger rooms and you partner and baby in the other.

Once dss gets to an age where he isn't staying then ds goes into box room and you get a blow up bed for the rare occasions that dss is home.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 22/11/2020 19:19

We've spoken to DSS about it and he presets this arrangement (sleep/glamping pod). I'm working FT so it's not like I'll be able to work more hours.

OP posts:
EmilySpinach · 22/11/2020 19:19

I’m really trying to wrap my head around this. Why did you buy a house that doesn’t work for your blended family?

Original poster
Fressia123 · 22/11/2020 19:20

Because otherwise we had to get rid of the dog. No rental would accept us with her.

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 22/11/2020 19:20

@Fressia123

Yes but even in one year baby will be two and need his own room. Realistically DSS will.love out in 5/6 years the In-between doesn't sound ideal.
A two year old doesn't actually "need" their own room, plenty of parents room-share (and even bedshare) with their children for longer.

In 3 years, DSS will be 16 and at that point it might be less crazy for him to sleep in a glorified shed in the backyard. But for now, it's crazy.

imabusybee · 22/11/2020 19:20

@Fressia123

We've spoken to DSS about it and he presets this arrangement (sleep/glamping pod). I'm working FT so it's not like I'll be able to work more hours.
I'm sure the idea of it will far surpass the reality. You really can't treat DSS so differently without it having a negative impact on him.
Ginger1982 · 22/11/2020 19:22

I think from your other threads you might be pregnant? Or indeed you said you wanted to try for another baby soon which, given this set up, seems madness to me.

AnotherEmma · 22/11/2020 19:22

@Fressia123

We've spoken to DSS about it and he presets this arrangement (sleep/glamping pod). I'm working FT so it's not like I'll be able to work more hours.
Yes but you'll have lower childcare costs won't you? If both are working full time you are presumably paying for nursery full time. That cost will decrease, first when baby turns 3 and again when he starts school. So your mortgage affordability checks will look different.
Original poster
Fressia123 · 22/11/2020 19:26

We could only afford this house with no childcare costs. I have additional income but it's I foreign currency so no mortgage broker will ever take into consideration.

OP posts:
hashbrownsandwich · 22/11/2020 19:27

Architect here (as in DH but I've asked haha). He says if you are prepared to spend £25k+ please don't risk not getting full Planning permission.
Technically if you are within 2m of a boundary you would only be able to do a building which is 3m high to eaves which sounds fine but you've got to think how that would actually work out inside and structurally.
Get him a caravan it'll be better.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 22/11/2020 19:28

What I'm trying to say is that we're better off than we are "in paper" it it is how it is.

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 22/11/2020 19:30

@Ginger1982

I think from your other threads you might be pregnant? Or indeed you said you wanted to try for another baby soon which, given this set up, seems madness to me.
Wow
HopeAndDriftWood · 22/11/2020 19:31

You cannot trust what a 13 year old says about this. He’s 13. An outdoor room sounds exciting and grown up.

When he hates it; because it’s cold and miserable; what will you do?

Or if he mentions it at school to someone; who tells their parents and they call social services?

It’s not a possibility. He doesn’t have the choice of not sharing his room with the baby when he’s not there; right now. That’s the trade off that was made when the house was bought. Unless the house layout means the 13m old could be in the living room, and you’d hear her?

There’s no need for you to be in the dining room, but you’ll have to have a different bedroom situation than the one you want for a while, because that’s the situation you’re in. He has to share; as do his siblings, because you’ve got six people who need to sleep and three rooms.

notangelinajolie · 22/11/2020 19:31

You have 3 bedrooms and only one permanent child living with you. That is more than enough bedrooms. I dont get it - surely you can manage for the few nights a month when they come to stay?

And I fail to see why sleeping downstairs is so bad?! Just because your room plan says so, your dining room doesn't have to be a dining room you know - turn it into your bedroom. That is what we did. Where do you think people who live in bungalows sleep?!

Save yourselves the £25k and put it to better use towards your next house move.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 22/11/2020 19:58

We used to live in a bungalow and it was no different!

OP posts:
Eng123 · 22/11/2020 20:10

Surely it was worth getting rid of the dog and finding a house that worked for you?
It sounds like a challenge, perhaps let this house out and rent something bigger for 4/5 years?

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