Need to build extension that will most likely cover at least half the patio

[Fressia123]

I've been reading about the "half the land around the original house". We live in an end of terrace with a tiny patio (3x5m) and need to build some sort of extension that will create a 4th bedroom. Is this impossible?

Do you have a front garden/driveway you can put a caravan on?

I must say OP, It comes across as though DSS's accommodation is a problem to solve, and by extension DSS is a problem. When the next baby comes along, I suspect DSD will become a problem too.

You 3 bed home needs to accommodate 4+ children, an adult couple, a dog, WFH x 2, a baby grand. Something has to give ...

It's a problem in the sense of a "mathematical problem" not that he's a problem. He's a lovely young man and I wish I could give him a decent alternative that he's happy with.

Only I WFH and there's also a cat too

You get a pod, and he gets a pod and she gets a pod. The baby grand gets a pod. YOU ALL GET A POD...

You really made me giggle @SciFiScream

@SciFiScream

You get a pod, and he gets a pod and she gets a pod. The baby grand gets a pod. YOU ALL GET A POD...

This killed me

🤣🤣🤣

Op you have now added a cat and the dining room suddenly doesnt actually fit a dining table easily sooooo....

Give it to your SS

this needs to go in the hall of fame man you are just brilliant. Id love to think no one is this selfish but it is mumsnet...

Why so against splitting the largest room op?

And no DP hasn't stopped arguing with me he just has no clue how to solve the problem only that DSS has to have his own room

Gosh, and it’s so simple too. Plus the answer, one of the many answers , havebeen given on this thread.

I mean I get yoh don’t want to accept anything other than he sleeps in the garden, but for his dad not to be able to work it out for himself is concerning for him,

Could you build a room on a platform (stilts) which runs along the back of the house next to the bathroom? It wouldn't be huge but it would give you a single bedroom the same size as your bathroom and you wouldn't lose any outside space, just some light.

@Chocolatedeficitdisorder

Could you build a room on a platform (stilts) which runs along the back of the house next to the bathroom? It wouldn't be huge but it would give you a single bedroom the same size as your bathroom and you wouldn't lose any outside space, just some light.

Brilliant! A bunk room to go with the bunk bed and bunk cot!

@Fressia123

Building plans

You might want to ask MNHQ to remove this photo as it has some detail on it that reveals the location. It would be fine if you cropped it to show just the floor plans and not the text from the property listing.

Honestly this is so so silly,

Turn one of the downstairs rooms into a bedroom. You then have four bedrooms, just what you wanted. Problem solved,

What to do with your home working equipment, your piano and your desperate need dor a dining table, that’s the question,

Work in the new garden shed, or set up a desk in any one of the other rooms. Put the piano in the new shed and collaborate in there, or get rid and buy a keyboard, who cares. The child comes first.

The question you posed is how to get a fourth bedroom. That’s easy and all kids can sleep in the house. You turn a downstairs room into a bedroom,

The question you should be addressing is what to do with all the stuff you wish to habe that takes up all the space. Oh and the fact you would love to have him in the house as long as it doesn’t mean you have to be inconvenienced in any way.

Honestly if my husband every suggested my child slept in the garden . so he didn’t need to be inconvenienced or move any of his stuff, I’d laugh in his face before heading to the divorce court.

Put the baby grand in the master bedroom, the synthesiser in the 2nd bedroom and two guitars in the box room. The dog gets the dining room, the cat the kitchen and you and DP get the lounge. The other guitar has to bunk in with you. All the kids in the shed. Solved it. Simples.

@Fressia123

It's a problem in the sense of a "mathematical problem" not that he's a problem. He's a lovely young man and I wish I could give him a decent alternative that he's happy with.

Only I WFH and there's also a cat too

He gets the dining room as his own room. You work from the pod in your garden as do many, many other people who work from home.

I have a folding dining room table which fits four chairs inside it. When it is not in use, it is a slender side table. You could get one of these for your lounge if a dining room table is important to you.

Why are these solutions not obvious? You talk about wasted space in the house on the days the children aren't there, but if you won't let your dss sleep on a sofabed or allow your baby to share a room, converting the dining room to a bedroom would seem to be the natural solution.

You bought a house knowing it was too small for your needs (four kids, growing family, wfh, musical instruments) because you didn't want to get rid of your dog to rent somewhere bigger. That's a choice, and I understand why you didn't want to get rid of the dog, but this means that sacrifices need to be made elsewhere. Some sacrifices are better than others.

An attic extension would be the ideal solution if you can make that happen - hopefully the architect can give advice.

Sending a 13(!!!) year old boy to sleep in the garden every weekend in a structure with no plumbing and limited electricity is not a sensible alternative and not something a parent should be seriously considering in 21st Century Britain.

Basically you are on here saying that it is more important to have your computers and piano inside the house than a 13-year-old child. Do you really not see how mad that sounds?

I've never said any of these things. My DP (and his own father) is against giving him the reception as his room as everybody uses it all the time. He's also against partitioning any of the rooms as he thinks then we'll end up with useless boxrooms. I think our room could potentially be partitioned and have a box room and a more decent size bedroom but we'd need an extra window, something he says would never be permitted.

Extension down stairs? His argument is that they all need steal work and make them.comoletely unaffordable.

He says no loft conversion (I do agree on that one).

Even partitioning the reception room is a mega issue because he doesn't see where we'd put two doors.

His only workable solution so far is that the dining table becomes a corner table and that turns into a bed and we sleep there when we have a full house.

He's not ahains the garden room (nor the the 13yo mother) but then my DP think we'd never get planning permission for it.

So I say no to all of your suggestions because my DP ahs already said no to all of them.
That's when architect comes.on and hopefully can see something we both can't.

I think the baby could sleep with his older brother eventually. It's my DSS parents who find this completely unacceptable (same as the sofa bed). It's his own bedroom or nothing. Of the whole house yes the dining for its size would be the more natural options but I can't see how to make 100% private and still have access to the kitchen. Again something an architect can figure out at some point.

Op, is a conservatory the answer? As long as you put blinds in it and heating, then a sofa bed, he can sleep in there when he is staying with you, he is still in the house, you don’t need an outside loo, it’s also secure, and you don’t need planning.

It should also be within budget, and you can use it for other things when he is not staying.

Unfortunately I don't think so @Bluntness100

When we were viewing houses my DP always said that there I no way anyone should sleep in a conservatory.

Whatever room he ends up getting it's all his. Nobody would use it when he's not here. I agree with this everybody deserves their own privacy .

This is just mad. You and your dh are making no sense at all. You need to get over giving your 13 year old a room all to himself when he's only there 8 days a month. What about the other 23 days? Seriously, don't think about having another child until you move house or your dss doesn't live at home anymore, you don't have the space!

I agree with not using his room as "living space" . But his parents see it as a complete redline for him to share with the baby (I see it as a better option but that's hypothetical as they don't fit in the boxroom).

But indeed giving up a lounge/living room FT when it's only going to be used 8 out of 30/31 nights seems wasteful.

When we were viewing houses my DP always said that there I no way anyone should sleep in a conservatory.

But a child sleeping in a pod not attached to the house and with no plumbing is acceptable?

Yea his whole issue is insulation /heating. You can get those pods to have everything you need (we've slept in one in an air BnB) bit I believe you need full planning permission which brings back to point 1 - doubt it would be allowed.

@Fressia123

Yea his whole issue is insulation /heating. You can get those pods to have everything you need (we've slept in one in an air BnB) bit I believe you need full planning permission which brings back to point 1 - doubt it would be allowed.

So, as someone suggested above, check with your council what the rules are about outside offices/garden rooms/ pods etc. If you are allowed to build one then do it and it becomes your dss' room BUT he sleeps in the dining room on a futon or folding mattress. And as I said upthread, get rid of the baby grand, replace with an electric piano, so you have more usable space.

As I've mentioned @EmmaGrundyForPM his parents find this completely unacceptable as he's not a guest in the house, which I kind of understand but they can't be that precious about the whole thing but they are so it's a never ending impasse.

Toddler has your room permanently, then if you go ahead with the mad plan to add a 5th child to the mix they can share
The two girls continue to share bedroom 2
13 year old gets box room
You and dh make the lounge a bedroom/lounge with either decent sofa bed or double bed and squeeze sofas and TV in for lounge area as presumably you go to bed after all the kids, and get up with the baby before the older ones are up so would still have somewhere private to sit in the evening
Dining room squeeze a small sofa/bench in with a TV on the wall
Build small garden office/pod in garden for your work

It sounds as though you are not really at liberty to consider any of the options that you have been given here.

It's your DPs problem to solve, provided that his solution is safe and legal (you may need to check). I would let him do the legwork on this. There is little point in you asking for advice if it will all be vetoed by your DP.