Need to build extension that will most likely cover at least half the patio

[Fressia123]

I've been reading about the "half the land around the original house". We live in an end of terrace with a tiny patio (3x5m) and need to build some sort of extension that will create a 4th bedroom. Is this impossible?

It doesn’t need to be dual use. It just needs to be a bedroom. You both need to accept that you need to house th kids and can’t afford to habe a seperate dining and kitchen area, nor can you put a thirteen year old into the garden to sleep so you can have a dining room.

Losing the living room to become a bedroom when it's going to be empty more than 70% of the time is crazy. Especially when we use both rooms (the dining room currently has my desk and I WFH). The current arrangement of sleeping in the dining room less than 30% of the time is lesser of two evils. But regardless we'll speak to an architect to see why they suggest.

Do a small single storey extension to make the kitchen larger, ie the same width as the current living room. You'll then get a long, thin kitchen diner. Make the current dining room the living room, and the current living room becomes a den/TV/play room with a super-comfy sleeper bed and storage which all DCs will be able to use but DSS can have for his bedroom.

No-one really needs/uses a dining room in this day and age.

X post - but even if your desk is in the dining room, that doesn't mean your DS can't sleep there for 8 nights a week! You just need the right furniture and storage!

Can't you use the glamping pod set up for your office when you wfh? Sounds much more sensible than sending your son to sleep in the garden.

Apart from anything, if it's pouring with rain at night, or snowing and your dss wants to use the loo in the middle of the night, is he going to have to trek across the patio to the house (or use an outside portaloo)? How is that a desirable set up for him? What if he gets ill staying with you? Does he stay out in the garden without a bathroom?

Yes, of course glamping in the garden every weekend sounds fun to a 13-year-old boy. However, I expect that reality will bite round about the time that winter kicks in.

Speaking to an architect is the best idea you've had, if you approach it with an open mind and explore all his/her suggestions.

I agree. Shoffice in the back yard. Very comfortable sofa bed in the living room (as I've already suggested) for parents or DSS to sleep on when it's a full house. Small sofa in the dining room so people can still relax in there if someone is asleep in the living room.

The box room already has a loft bed and a desk in it; if necessary this desk could also be used by an adult WFH (and not just by DSS when he's there).

There are so many possible sensible solutions without making poor DSS sleep in a separate building in the backyard!

@Fressia123

Losing the living room to become a bedroom when it's going to be empty more than 70% of the time is crazy. Especially when we use both rooms (the dining room currently has my desk and I WFH). The current arrangement of sleeping in the dining room less than 30% of the time is lesser of two evils. But regardless we'll speak to an architect to see why they suggest.

It’s no where near as crazy as sending a thirteen year old to sleep in the garden

Honestly. I am not sure if you’re taking the piss. You’ve had so many solutions put to you to protect this child and every one is shot down. You’re even now arguing because you need to work from home the poor boy should sleep outside.

You know there is solutions, so something else is at play here, why either you or his parents are so desperate to get him out the house.

What you’re planning is legally suspect. You could end up in a lot of trouble and risk loosing your other children if this is found to be neglect. You cannot leave a thirteen year old alone so many nights.

Preferring to move into the realms of neglect rather than have him in the house, is deeply concerning.

There are so many possible sensible solutions without making poor DSS sleep in a separate building in the backyard!

Yeah but OP wouldn't be able to have her fun trolling us!

@Fressia123

The current dining room is too small to be used as a dual use room. The living room is bigger (or at least feels that way a d thus the one that could potentially be properly extended) but it's not practical as it's the furthest away from the kitchen.

The bigger room isn't practical to eat in because it's too far from the kitchen???

OP you don't live in Buckingham Palace. Lots of people have their dining table in a room that isn't right next to the kitchen. Before we extended our house, our dining room was down the corridor from.the kitchen, we had to walk past the utility room and cloak room to get to it. So about 20 feet away. I can promise you it was never an issue.

Could you break through the kitchen and dining room and have a breakfast bar and turn it into a kitchen diner living area for when the house is full? Then the living room could have a nice sofa bed and could be living area / office for when you don’t have a full house? What do you need to wfh? DH needs a full set up of monitors etc but I only need a laptop that could be put away for the weekends when DSS is there. I have a 13 year old, I couldn’t imagine having her out in the garden.

What about a dormer style loft conversion? Or a cabin in the garden as an office and extra play/ lounge / summer eating space so you can use dining room as a bedroom?

Yeah but OP wouldn't be able to have her fun trolling us!

I get why people think that, but sadly I think this maybe real. They have neither the space or money to house their kids and want another one and are seriously considering having one alone in the garden with an outside loo rathe than face inconvenience internally

I don’t think there is any solution peoooe can put forward to protect the child that will be accepted.

I need a couple of monitors and my laptop . His dad is very much against that DSS should have to move around to sleep. That be needs his own space to call his own. That's why he needs his own room. Kitchen is absolutely tiny so adding it to the dining room won't add much. The lounge is the easiest to split. BTW my DP is the one who thinks that nothing can be done whatsoever and that's how we ended up with the garden room option. I think extending the living the room a tiny bit and then splitting that extended room is the best option. But I think it would be ridiculously expensive for just adding 4-6sqm.

He can easily habe his own room. You can work in the garden. Or your bedroom, or any other place.

Anyway, as said, it makes no difference I think what anyone suggests here.

Yes but where do we sleep? When he's arñund

Oh my read the thread.

Turn one of your reception rooms to a permanent bedroom.

Either you and your partner sleep there.(or anyone else)

The two girls get your room

Eldest son gets the second room or box room

The baby gets the box room or second room. .

Or any variation of.

You build a garden office and work there. Or you set up a desk with monitors in any other room in the house.

OP- Turn lounge into a bedroom. 13yo can have boxroom, you can have the lounge and keep your desk space, etc...

Then get the glamping pod or nice shed and turn it into the 'lounge.'

I have to say that I agree with the OP that turning the living room into a permanent bedroom would be a bit silly when the bedrooms aren't all in use all the time. I won't keep repeating myself but I think a sofa bed in the living room so it can be the occasional bedroom would be fine.

IMO it makes most sense for the parents to have the main bedroom, girls to have the second bedroom and DSS to have the box room, with the baby playing "musical bedrooms" depending on who is there - I really don't see the harm in baby being in bedroom 2/3 when older siblings aren't around, and moving in with parents when they are. But OP insists that baby must have its own room.

OP, out of interest, how often are the girls with you? One is DD and one is DSD, and they're 10 and 8, right?

YOU SLEEP IN YOUR ROOM, WITH THE TODDLER.

You can’t have it both ways, you either want ALL your children to have a permanent room to call their own or not, it shouldn’t matter that it’s only in use a few nights month. You have 4 children to house in a 3 bed home therefore you need to convert the lounge into a permanent bedroom. If you make it your room you can have it double as your office. Or build a garden office.

Looks like you could knock down a wall upstairs and partition the biggest into 2 smaller bedrooms. Or the 2 rooms into 3.

A baby shouldnt be sleeping in a travel cot, why would you do that if his actual cot is in your room anyway?

Totally wont work having a 5th baby with no space available.

Your poor stepson, his dad really needs to step the fuck up and tell you you are out of line.

Im not against an out building for him to have privacy or maybe the girls to have a play room but to be stuck out there sleeping ughhh, no.

Why the need for outdoor toilet if hes got access to inside?
Are you comfortable leaving your door unlocked all night?

You clearly dont favour the lad. 13 year olds dont sleep outside. The idea is hidious.

You've been given so many good ideas but you are shutting them all down. Just buy a fucking sofa bed for the living room when you have another child.

8 & 10 year old girl share 1 room
Step son has box room
You and OH take other room with ur toddler

But you put baby to sleep in a travel cot instead when Ss Is not there.

You want a 5th baby and want the 2 small ones to share the box room, leaving no room for SS.

So what do we do with him? Shed? Or just dont have a 5th baby? What if you want a 6th kid? Whos outed then?

If the boxroom would be big enough for two toddlers could the girls not share it with bunk beds and you subdivide the other for dc and dss ( maybe a sofa bed or loft bed to free up floor space for play area when he is not there) .

The baby has very interrupted sleep when he sleeps with us (or anyone for that matter) a thus why were trying to give him his own space. My DD stays half the time and she's 10 going on 15 . I think she wouldn't mind sharing with the baby if he ever stops waking up 3 times, but it's disruptive for her too. As it is right now the dining room has become the occasional bedroom for us. We don't love it but it's what has become.