Buyers remorse...tell me it's normal

[DavetheCat2001]

I've been reading back on old threads about this, it does seem to be 'a thing', but I am slightly freaking out about us moving into our new house this coming Friday.

Canned version of events: it has taken over 4 months to get here, lost a set of buyers on our place, lost a solicitor along the way, had financial issues etc..won't go into detail as not really relevant, but we REALLY wanted this house and finally exchanged last week.

Went in there yesterday morning with the kids to measure the windows for blinds, and as soon as I walked in it felt cold, dark and gloomy. It's Edwardian, and it's been empty for over a year and not loved, it's a project house and in my head could be beautiful but the truth is we are stretching ourselves to our absolute limit financially, and will have nothing left over after completion.

OH is going to do a lot of work himself (when he can fit it in working FT), and we save for things as we go.

It was such a beautiful sunny day yesterday, but walking in there was like going into a musty cave. Both DC's were bickering and youngest had a meltdown when she saw the room we were thinking of for her..stomped around the house on raw floorboards making a racket and saying she hated it etc..

OH and I have been bickering too..think the stress has got to us, and best of all it appears that the vendor has for some reason since the last time we saw the house (mid April) ripped down the fusebox in the hallway, leaving us with no working plug sockets in the house???!!?

We couldn't test the grotty oven that is being left and so as it stands we move in on Friday into a house we cannot plug in our fridge/cook anything/heat etc...fucking nightmare.

Obviously we raised this with the EA on Saturday, but in his typical fashion he never came back to us despite saying he was going to contact the vendor immediately to find out what he is doing.

So tomorrow morning we get onto our solicitor to let them know...vendor has to make good and I have said there is no way I am moving into that house on Friday with my kids if no electricity, FFS.

That would put us in breach of contract with our buyers I'm guessing, so the whole thing is a nightmare.

Came back to our light, bright flat yesterday and just wanted to cry. Been here 14 years, had my kids here and made this place lovely.

I don't want to go..what were we thinking??? We need more space for sure with 2 growing DC's (5 and 8), and I thought I loved the house but I don't think I do anymore. Rang my mum for advice and wise words and she said I was the same when I bought our current flat as it was a state too, and I apparently spent many weekends back at her house as didn't want to be here either!

Can anyone please just bring me down and reassure me that this will pass and it will all be ok?

Packers come in on Thursday to pack us up, and we have a cleaning co booked to go into the house on Thursday too to deep clean it as it is minging....obviously they cannot do this if no bloody power in the house!!

Auuugh..just want to crawl under my duvet and it all to go away.

What? So the consumer unit has been removed? I don't really see how this is possible without leaving exposed wires. Have you got a photo?
That aside, there must have been a reason why 'you really wanted it'. Your solicitor needs to get in touch with the seller's solicitor and insist that this is put right before you complete. You can't possibly move into a house without power.

Buyers remorse is not uncommon (or at least I know a lot of people who have felt it, and I myself did when we got our current place) but you are not being unreasonable about trying to move into a house with no electricity. That does need to be sorted.

It will make a massive difference when you move in and get your stuff in place. Some rugs on the bare boards and some curtains in the windows - it will not feel like a cave anymore.

Try not to panic, remember all the good points and the reasons you were buying in the first place. It might take time, but this could be the home you love for the rest of your life.

Buyers remorse is so common, @DavetheCat2001 - I was horrified when we got the keys to our new house in January. With all the furniture out, the bodged DIY jobs were so visible and it was very clear everything had been done very badly and very cheaply. It felt like a different house to the one we'd liked so much on viewing.

However, within a few weeks I started to fall in love with it again and remembered why we'd bought it. Giving it a good clean, getting all our furniture in, getting to know the house properly all helped. Now I'm so happy and I love being at home.

The fusebox is a separate issue - strange, and yes, your solicitor will need to get to work on that one. But try to keep an open mind about the rest of the house - it's just new and strange and stressful 💐

I walked into my new house last year the day I got the keys to find floors filthy and mouse droppings everywhere. It was awful....I had utterly loved it and just wanted to cry and run away.
After pest control had visited and a lot of cleaning I loved it again.
There must have been good reasons you wanted to buy it....

Did you have the electrics tested? A consumer unity must be part of the house - like a kitchen or bathroom would be. The vendor would be in breach of their contract by removing it I’d have thought.

Can you withhold money for repairs?

@longearedbat yep, fuse box was up on the wall near the front door last time we went round and things seemed to be working. Went in yesterday and the fuse box is lying in one of the fireplaces 😳

He had been renting out the bottom bit of the house to a couple over a year ago, so I am wondering if he maybe botched the electrics and wanted to get them down before completion, but you'd think realisticslly he'd not seriously think he coukd get awsy with just pulling it down and not getting a sparky in to fix it?? 🤷‍♀️

OH took pictures so solicitors first thing tomorrow.

Just not looking forward to pulling apart our lovely flat.. I dont do change very well.

Thanks for the kind words from those of you who have felt like this too ☹️

Buyers remorse is definitely a thing. We LOVED this house thought it was perfect could see our son growing up and us growing old here. We bought it. 6 months n the line its like a building site and some days i yearn for old terrace which we hated in the end.

As for the electrics though its totally out of order and i would be hesitant to complete without the seller fixing it. What kind of moron does that?!

By that i mean what kind of moron rips half the electrics out!

We completed on our project house on Friday. Since then I have been describing it to everyone as 'our new shithole house'. The vendor left it filthy - like, hasn't been cleaned in years, filthy. It stinks of dog. Half of the ceiling in the kitchen has been removed since we put our offer in. The doors have holes in them.

But... it's big. Much bigger than our current place. And it will be lovely. I know it will be lovely because I've done it before to the house we're in now.

Houses always look at their worst when they're vacant and unloved. It will be vastly improved with a clean and a couple of months of heating and airing - Edwardian (and Victorian) houses are prone to dampness especially if the brickwork gets cold. You'll be fine :)

It has been unloved for a long time and it sounds like it is going to be hard, made worse no doubt by the response of your children. In time you can make it your own and I am sure it will be lovely.
I moved last year, probably bought in a rush although I had viewed a lot of properties and this seemed the most spacious. I have done my best with what funds I have and it could be a really lovely family home if someone had the money to spend on it. That said most of the time I am fairly detached towards it and unsettled so no idea how long I will live here.

That's very odd on the fuse box. You won't be in breach of contract as they need to leave it in a certain condition so if they don't fix it then they will be.

Anyways, when we bought this house, I fell in love first off on line. It has a video and I thought omg. We went to see it and i really did fall in love with it, I couldn't believe we could afford it.

Then we came back just before the sellers moved out. And I was quite dismayed. You could see the state of it. It's an old listed building, and it smelled terrible, and with all their beautiful furniture removed you could see the work that needed doing. Floorboards that hadn't been touched for decades, an ancient kitchen etc.

But on moving in day and when our stuff was in it felt way better, and over the last few years we have renovated it, and I love it today as much as I did when I bought it, more.

It's just the change, the thought of the work. The way it looked now is not what it will look like when your stuff is in. You'll love th extra space.

Honestly it will be fine. Beyond fine. Don't worry.

I really was excited about it up until yesterday. It's the sort of house I never dreamed we could ever have.. but the fact it is a massive project is the only reason we can just about do it.

Yesterday I just felt sick and down, and when the kids started arguing and DD was saying she hated her room and she was freezing (really hot day yesterday but house was cold), I just wanted to go home.

We're not moving in until the services are reconnected.. absolutely no bloody way, but just wonder where that leaves us with our buyers.. is it breach of contract all along the line? There are only 3 of us in the chain as we are selling to FTB's,

Don't panic - it's normal. Especially if you are moving from somewhere that's all done the way you like it, to a property which needs renovating.

I was desperate to move and we had the chain from hell. Even then, the day after we moved to the new house I was walking round wondering if we'd made a mistake.

18 months later we are almost finished the renovation and I love it. Don't be put off by the kids' reactions - it's hard enough for adults to be able to visualise changes when looking at tatty houses!

You won't own your flat after completion , it's your buyers. You have to let them in, unless you don't complete, but you lose your deposit.

Well yes you can't just decide not to move out once you have completed, it's not your flat any more! Could you possibly negotiate a another week or so before completion?

Speak to your solicitor tomorrow. They will sort the electrics.

And you can't stay in your house after completion or delay it. Sorry I was thinking of your purchase not your sale.

It's totally normal to have buyer's remorse, I've had it with all three properties, if we hadn't been locked in I'd have pulled out each time.

And once we've moved in and got them fixed up they've all have been lovely period properties (and good investments). Have a glass of wine and think of Kevin McCloud!

Sorry, I missed the bit about what effect it would have on you chain if you delayed moving.

Once you have completed, the flat is no longer legally yours and you have to vacate. If you don't then you are squatting and the buyers have the right to go to court to get an order to get you out and claim the costs from you.

Check the contract for the vacate time - it can be anything between 11am-2pm.

Have been in our house for just over a year now, and felt like you for quite some time. Changed areas and moved from a house to a flat. I love our house (and area) now, despite not having had the money to do it up completely. I LOVED our old flat, had the children in it, had so many happy memories there. It was home. A year down the line, I have realised the following:

1. Kids have no vision. Don’t listen to them. Mine were the same age as yours when we moved, and their experience was leaving a cosy family home with all their things around them and arriving at a complete shithole. They can’t see what the place will be like after a lick of paint, let alone serious work. I once asked them what they would look for in a house if they could choose, and they said ‘cushions’ 😂 you can see that they will need more space as they grow; they can’t. You’re best placed to make the decision to move.

1. Building a home takes time. It took me a year to feel like the new house was home- there was no rushing it. Everyone else felt at home much quicker than me; like you, I struggle with change. But now I feel at home and the house is so much nicer than our old flat. I don’t cry when I think of it any more- and I see a future for us in the house, we were outgrowing the flat so fast.

1. We are so, so lucky to have this house. I couldn’t see that at first as it felt like something awful had happened to me; once the trauma of moving had passed, I could feel grateful for how amazingly lucky we’ve been.

In a nutshell- it’s going to feel awful, stressful, traumatic; I actually thought I’d ruined the kids’ lives at one point; but feeling those things doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong decision. It’s just tough. and for you.

When I visited our house for the first time after we bought it I cried and cried. It's now a bright, happy home, but at the time that felt impossible! You'll fall in love with it again once you've moved in, given everywhere a good lick of paint, etc.

Thank you so much @tethersend ..sounds like an almost identical situation!

Just wish we had some money for some renovation work! OH has said it's probably just worth whitewashing the hallway straight away to brighten it up..I think this is a good plan. I think it needs a good airing and some love..poor house has been unloved for so long.

£350 for a new consumer unit.

probably needs a rewire as well but in the short term you should be able to get up and running.

Every time I moved I wished I hadn't for a few weeks or months but never regretted it in the long term

That looks really lovely