Buyers remorse...tell me it's normal

[DavetheCat2001]

I've been reading back on old threads about this, it does seem to be 'a thing', but I am slightly freaking out about us moving into our new house this coming Friday.

Canned version of events: it has taken over 4 months to get here, lost a set of buyers on our place, lost a solicitor along the way, had financial issues etc..won't go into detail as not really relevant, but we REALLY wanted this house and finally exchanged last week.

Went in there yesterday morning with the kids to measure the windows for blinds, and as soon as I walked in it felt cold, dark and gloomy. It's Edwardian, and it's been empty for over a year and not loved, it's a project house and in my head could be beautiful but the truth is we are stretching ourselves to our absolute limit financially, and will have nothing left over after completion.

OH is going to do a lot of work himself (when he can fit it in working FT), and we save for things as we go.

It was such a beautiful sunny day yesterday, but walking in there was like going into a musty cave. Both DC's were bickering and youngest had a meltdown when she saw the room we were thinking of for her..stomped around the house on raw floorboards making a racket and saying she hated it etc..

OH and I have been bickering too..think the stress has got to us, and best of all it appears that the vendor has for some reason since the last time we saw the house (mid April) ripped down the fusebox in the hallway, leaving us with no working plug sockets in the house???!!?

We couldn't test the grotty oven that is being left and so as it stands we move in on Friday into a house we cannot plug in our fridge/cook anything/heat etc...fucking nightmare.

Obviously we raised this with the EA on Saturday, but in his typical fashion he never came back to us despite saying he was going to contact the vendor immediately to find out what he is doing.

So tomorrow morning we get onto our solicitor to let them know...vendor has to make good and I have said there is no way I am moving into that house on Friday with my kids if no electricity, FFS.

That would put us in breach of contract with our buyers I'm guessing, so the whole thing is a nightmare.

Came back to our light, bright flat yesterday and just wanted to cry. Been here 14 years, had my kids here and made this place lovely.

I don't want to go..what were we thinking??? We need more space for sure with 2 growing DC's (5 and 8), and I thought I loved the house but I don't think I do anymore. Rang my mum for advice and wise words and she said I was the same when I bought our current flat as it was a state too, and I apparently spent many weekends back at her house as didn't want to be here either!

Can anyone please just bring me down and reassure me that this will pass and it will all be ok?

Packers come in on Thursday to pack us up, and we have a cleaning co booked to go into the house on Thursday too to deep clean it as it is minging....obviously they cannot do this if no bloody power in the house!!

Auuugh..just want to crawl under my duvet and it all to go away.

If it's any help (with your DC's reaction), I grew up in a reno- my parents bought a massive Victorian wreck which needed rewiring, a central heating system put in, inside plumbing, the lot. They had NO MONEY (bought a bargain kitchen and stored it in a friend's basement for 18mo until they could afford to fit it kind of no money!) and it was absolutely fine and I don't have any negative memories. It's all a big adventure when you're little! Get a living room and their bedroom done and you'll be fine.

I love the ceiling in the reception room. It looks like it can be a gorgeous home.

You will be ok- remember house moving is up there with bereavement and divorce for stressful situations.

Good luck with your move.

What a beautiful house! It's going to look AMAZING. I'm so excited for you!

I totally empathise on the remorse, though. I have always felt like you do. The old place suddenly looks like the one place in the world where you could be happy, and the new place always seems like an unlovable slum that nobody else would've bought. 😆

It took us 10 months to buy the house we live in now. (Problems with the chain, everything went wrong.) On the day I finally got the keys, I went round there in the evening with my cousin. She was running through all the rooms raving about it all, and I was moodily stomping around like a sullen teenager HATING it. It looked small, cold, bleak. I thought I'd made the biggest mistake ever. I was even ashamed for the removal men to see it. 😆

I love it now. Painting it helps a LOT. I've moved house so many times in my life, and I've always loved spending a day with the radio on, dustsheets down on the floor, drinking coffee and slapping emulsion on the walls. I even love the smell.

I predict nothing but joy and delight for you! Congratulations and enjoy your house.

I’m with a lot of other posters - your house is going to be fab! When we viewed our current house the owners had it immaculate & we fell in love immediately. Viewed a few others but were desperate to get this one. We needed to move as we were in a 4 bed house that with hindsight we should never have bought as it landed us in massive debt. Anyway, long story short, we got it for less than the asking price & even managed to pay off our mortgage. But when we moved in, it became clear that lots of things had been done on the cheap & I found that quite depressing. Also, the house was so much smaller & nearly 2 years on it still feels like we’re living in a warehouse! But, despite all that, I feel completely at home here & even though our previous house was like a palace I don’t think I ever felt completely comfortable there. The smallness of it has brought us closer ( literally!) as a family & when I walk through the front door, I exhale. My haven. There’s quite a bit we want to do including ripping out the rather dated bathroom, replacing the rubbish carpets, more decorating & making the back garden look less like Dingles yard lol but we know we made the right decision. Good luck with your renovations OP & please post some “ after pics” 💐

I forgot! Dsis cried when she went to see the new house and wouldn’t say what the problem was, turned out she thought every house was already filled with things and didn’t realise you took stuff with you! The new house had no toys or tv (or carpet or wallpaper or beds! For that matter)

It's lovely OP. I think often the reality overwhelmed our dreams when renovating. I'm currently mid project through some jobs and I'm financially stressed. My advise is go on Pinterest and find your inspiration again. Get the vendor to fix the electrics ASAP.

Thanks guys..you've made me feel a lot better.

Sometimes it helps to have someone else cast their eye and give another perspective x

OP can you keep us updated as renovations go along if you have any time? I love seeing these things brought back to life :-)
It's going to be a gorgeous home

@needsleepzzz yes I certainly will do..I love a good reno-blog too!

Eventually my dream is to have a big eat in kitchen with bi-fold doors to the garden.

The possibilities with the downstairs space are amazing..just need vision, patience and money!

That's going to be gorgeous OP!

I dread the thought of moving with kids. My best friend did it, and had to live in an ancient caravan for a year with her two young DC whilst her husband gutted and put together their new house.

It'll be worth it in the end xx

Ack that floor plan is mega, lots of space and lots of potential.

Buyers remorse is a thing, moving is super stressful. A renovation project even more so!

Chin up, understand you’re feeling a normal emotion and we are not always happy all the time, and crack on. Get the kids bedrooms cosy and a little living room away from the mess and renovations as a priority.

That floorplan!!! Oh I love it. Your house is enormous! It'll be lovely.

And loads of space to store renovation stuff, tools, etc (in that 3rd reception room near the kitchen, maybe) so it won't be under your feet the whole time.

I love love LOVE your house.

Thanks..still trying to resolve the electrics issue...had a sarky email from the EA in response to OH's email of this morning too, so am sitting on my hands and not swiping back (yet!).

We bought a house that needed so much work. I cried for the first week (was pregnant at the time so that didn’t help). When my parents came to see the new place they were speechless with horror .

Kids were fine once we tidied a corner of the lounge and unpacked some toys.

I was friendly with one of the maintenance guys at work who liked to have extra painting jobs at the weekend. He painted the whole house white fairly cheaply and that really made a difference.

Took about 18 months to renovate and we love the house but that was 10 years ago and after swearing I’d never go through a renovation again, we feel ready for a move and another project.

Good luck

What's your solicitor doing about the electrics issue? I'm pretty sure it's illegal.

If the EA is being sarcastic, I would t reply either except to hit them with a legal avalanche.

Op, if you don't actually do anything you won't actually achieve anything. In this context you'd be cramped in a too small property feeling unhappy for years to come.

What you're doing will be hard work and stressful, but you're doing something. You will add so much value to that house, and every single thing you do will make a difference. It's a huge positive. You'll have a big house, done to your design and your own garden for the kids to play in.

You really should be excited.

Agreed @Bluntness100

I'm feeling better today.. jyst need to get the electrics and gas turned back on and I'll feel happier.

That house looks gorgeous
I remember moving into our current house which badly needed renovating . I was 8 months pregnant and we'd left behind a beautiful house ( but we'd outgrown it) and I recall lying in bed on the first night staring up at the manky ceiling with cobwebs everywhere thinking 'what the hell have we done'
But it all comes good in the end , with time and patience.

The utilities will be sorted don't worry. That's easy.

What did the agent say?

Do not complete until they put in new consumer unit. Try to stay calm, I sense you are at screaming point. When I view a house I go in and look up at the ceiling. This is the space you are getting. It is easier to visualise when looking at ceiling. That house looks like it is spacious. Are the rooms good proportion? Will it give your kids a room each? Has it got a garden they could play in? If the answers are all yes then you have not made a mistake. Everything else is cosmetic. It is often better to start with a house that everything needs doing because then you will eventually get exactly what you want. When we moved into our current house I hated the kitchen but because it was such a good quality and almost new I was stuck with it for almost 9 years. If it was really old or falling to bits I could have justified having to replace it straight away. Take the family room and try to make it bright, even painting a coat of white paint on walls makes it lighter. The musty smell is because it needs airing. Open windows and put in a few air fresheners and smell will go. Do you have a friend or sister who will come over and help you do a 24 hour make over of one room? Warn you buyers you may have to delay for a week or two. Keep chasing solicitor, estate agents until consumer unit replaced.

OP,

That is great size house for SE London!!! It is such a huge size and full of potential. Trust me, after some thorough cleaning, paint and setting up your own furniture, photos, flowers and curtains, it will look gorgeous. Once renovated it would be the dream house.

I've got friends who live in exactly the same design house! It's gorgeous inside.

I find that these Edwardian houses hold the heat well when it is on and they are cooler inside in the summer but you may be glad of that.

The electrics though - it's illegal to do anything to a consumer unit without notifiying building control and having it signed off I think? www.electricalsafetyfirst.org.uk/find-an-electrician/building-regulations/england/

Keep the fiat - it will be lovely. Lot's of hard work needed, but it will be worth it.

faith not fiat!