Buyers remorse...tell me it's normal

[DavetheCat2001]

I've been reading back on old threads about this, it does seem to be 'a thing', but I am slightly freaking out about us moving into our new house this coming Friday.

Canned version of events: it has taken over 4 months to get here, lost a set of buyers on our place, lost a solicitor along the way, had financial issues etc..won't go into detail as not really relevant, but we REALLY wanted this house and finally exchanged last week.

Went in there yesterday morning with the kids to measure the windows for blinds, and as soon as I walked in it felt cold, dark and gloomy. It's Edwardian, and it's been empty for over a year and not loved, it's a project house and in my head could be beautiful but the truth is we are stretching ourselves to our absolute limit financially, and will have nothing left over after completion.

OH is going to do a lot of work himself (when he can fit it in working FT), and we save for things as we go.

It was such a beautiful sunny day yesterday, but walking in there was like going into a musty cave. Both DC's were bickering and youngest had a meltdown when she saw the room we were thinking of for her..stomped around the house on raw floorboards making a racket and saying she hated it etc..

OH and I have been bickering too..think the stress has got to us, and best of all it appears that the vendor has for some reason since the last time we saw the house (mid April) ripped down the fusebox in the hallway, leaving us with no working plug sockets in the house???!!?

We couldn't test the grotty oven that is being left and so as it stands we move in on Friday into a house we cannot plug in our fridge/cook anything/heat etc...fucking nightmare.

Obviously we raised this with the EA on Saturday, but in his typical fashion he never came back to us despite saying he was going to contact the vendor immediately to find out what he is doing.

So tomorrow morning we get onto our solicitor to let them know...vendor has to make good and I have said there is no way I am moving into that house on Friday with my kids if no electricity, FFS.

That would put us in breach of contract with our buyers I'm guessing, so the whole thing is a nightmare.

Came back to our light, bright flat yesterday and just wanted to cry. Been here 14 years, had my kids here and made this place lovely.

I don't want to go..what were we thinking??? We need more space for sure with 2 growing DC's (5 and 8), and I thought I loved the house but I don't think I do anymore. Rang my mum for advice and wise words and she said I was the same when I bought our current flat as it was a state too, and I apparently spent many weekends back at her house as didn't want to be here either!

Can anyone please just bring me down and reassure me that this will pass and it will all be ok?

Packers come in on Thursday to pack us up, and we have a cleaning co booked to go into the house on Thursday too to deep clean it as it is minging....obviously they cannot do this if no bloody power in the house!!

Auuugh..just want to crawl under my duvet and it all to go away.

Oh sod off, morallybankrupt, you twerp.

There's always one 🙄

Thanks for all the supportive posts. I'll definitely update the thread with pics if anyone is interested, and hopefully this thread can help anyone else feeling similar.

We bought a project house, we were very fortunate that we could live elsewhere and do it up but the whole time the works were going on I just thought we had made a huge mistake, I just didn't feel anything towards the house. When most of the internal stuff was done we moved in. People would come round and be very complimentary and I'd just think meh. But now we've lived here a while I love it. Once all your stuff is in it will make a huge difference although I would get an electrician in there ASAP.

It's gorgeous...you will come to love it again.

This US website has some really OTT houses but also many examples of people renovating on low budgets.
design sponge

I really love the original kitchen units - I think you could make a great quirky kitchen round them. The big reception room is going to be fab after decorating.

For bits of interiors we have done (nothing on that scale) I did find dedicated searching made a huge difference to what we spent e.g. identified the bathroom radiator we wanted which was around £400. Saw one listed on eBay from a closing down bathroom shop for £300 buy it now or bidding from £150. Took the chance of bidding at £150 and won it! If this is going to be your project it will be hard but so much fun.

Hope the electricity gets sorted today.

Thanks.. I think once we have managed to resolve the electricity ussue I'll feel a lot happier.

The house has been empty for over a year, and previously the bottom bit rented out and not really looked after at all. I know we are seeing it at it's worst.

Incidentally my SIL bought an incredibly similar house, both in outside appearance and interior finish. They slept and lived in the living room all of last summer with their two DC. The DC who are just a bit younger than yours loved it and it enabled them to completely finish the upstairs.

The garden is lovely, what does it overlook? You will be fine there

@DavetheCat2001 I am also moving into my new house this Friday, and I am overwhelmed and having buyer’s remorse and I did take a duvet day today to cope (in Australia, the day is almost over here).

Somewhere deep inside I know it will all come together, but right now I feel overwhelmed and lie there is too much to do and (as a new home owner) that I don’t know how to do any of it. And people keep asking me questions about gas and water tanks and smart locks and I am nodding along, making a note to google each one later to try and catch up on all this stuff I didn’t know about but that people seem to think is very important.

I really hope I fall back in love with the house once I am in there. But right now, I’m under the duvet, getting the strenght to cope with the rest of the week.

PS love your house btw. Shall we swop? Mine has electricity

It looks gorgeous. DC will be fine once their walls are a colour they like and they have their own duvet cover, even if things like the right curtains have to wait.

It struck me that you said your OH would be doing it all around working FT. Apologies if I'm taking that too literally, but you getting stuck in too is the fastest way for you to start to feel ownership and getting back in control of it.

Yes buyer's remorse is a thing! Especially if there has been drama throughout the conveyancing process.

Not nearly as difficult as what you're describing, but the afternoon I completed on my flat I let myself in and set off a burglar alarm that no one had told me about. All my neighbours came out of their flats to glare at me whilst I tried to get through to the estate agent. She said, 'Oh let me ring the seller and call you back'. Yeah, no hurry. It was awful and really soured the moment.

Tbh, I'm taken aback that you'd buy a house like that with no money to do it up and children. And with husband trying to do the work around family and a full-time job. But what's done is done. You'll probably have a tough few years ahead but a lovely family home to show for it afterwards.
Good luck with sorting out the electrics and everything else!

Good luck with the electricity. Hopefully your solicitor will help you to retain some funds until it is connected.

Hire a strimmer for the garden and paint the interior, white if you haven't decided on colours but if you have, do it quickly.
The rest can all happen in time.

www.wickes.co.uk/Wickes-Contract-Matt-Emulsion-Paint---Pure-Brilliant-White-10L/p/121732

OP I'm jealous! That house look beautiful and will be stunning when done. Doesn't look dark or gloomy either - I think anywhere might have felt like that when coming inside from the sunshine yesterday!

Dave, that house has the bare bones of something truly stunning. You can do this! (and I envy you the project)

I hope the electrics get sorted today!

@JoJoSM2 - It's the only way we could get the space we need near the kids school. I didn't want to unsettle them anymore than necessary and they live their school and friends.

I am 100% getting stuck in too. We've done a renovation before ( where we are now).. i'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. Difference this time is we have kids and it's a bigger property. I am fully aware it's going to take a long time.

Good luck @FollowYourOwnNorthStar .. hope your move goes well.

"a house like that" 😂 bar the electrics which the vendor has to sort, this house is perfectly safe to live in. Move in, lick of paint and some rugs everywhere and it will warm up in no time.

One house we bought was like this. Moved in at 38 wks pregnant, with a toddler in tow. No fitted kitchen. (Literally just a free standing oven and an old 60ies sink unit). The worst carpet you have ever seen, filthy. I remember sitting in the living room and being hugely depressed, I was tired, fat, and even the Chinese from round the corner was shite. (As it turned out there was another one which was way better.)

But we loved that house in the end.

And this house hadn't been lived in for years, had texture on every wall, garden a literal dumping ground at the end.

But sometimes it's worth it.

OP it’s beautiful

When I was 13, we moved into a house that needed a similar amount of work. My siblings were 11, 8 and twins aged 3... You can imagine the chaos We lived in the living room whilst the kitchen was being done (dodgy roof as it was an extension), hallway (where old kitchen had been) was converted into a utility one side and a toilet the other. Then sofas in the kitchen whilst the living room was being done!

All 5 of us had to share one bedroom as the two attic bedrooms didn’t meet any regulations.

Step Dad is a builder so him and his mates did it at weekends.

I was an absolute arsehole at 13 but I found the whole thing hilarious and it was an adventure. And totally worth the 9 months of upheaval as it was amazing when done.

I think it’s gorgeous. You’ll be able to put your own stamp on it and it has fabulous bones. I hated our house when we moved in. It was filthy and full of fleas but love it now.

Tbh, I'm taken aback that you'd buy a house like that with no money to do it up and children

Eh? Some things are worth the effort. That house is perfectly habitable, and with a lick of paint and a little graft like floor sanding it will look fine on little money and they can then do it as and when they have money and time.

What would you think they should do, live in a small property and never do any work because it's easy?

Nah.

The house buying process tends to colour everything and it is tiring and stressful. Eventually you get there though.

In our case it was me that wanted to move and me that wanted the old house that needed doing up and hadn't been occupied for 9 months. My husband wanted something newer with less work. He wanted to pull out when we got the survey back because of all the damp.

Just before moving he hated the house, but on moving day he was even more excited than me. He has had a few days when he has regretted it since, usually when the diy has been particularly challenging, but then he finishes a stage or we drive past our old house and remember all the reasons we wanted to move.

The more we improve our new house the happier he is. I have never regretted the move though, but that was because it has massively shortened my commute and that alone improved my life.

We are years in now and still doing it up as and when we have the money, but it is still worth it.

It's fantastic ! Was just about to say it looks like one in anerley/penge/CP I drove past.

Get a battery operated strimmer to take the whole garden down to 2 inches high before digging out the nettles - so much less painful! You could hire an industrial one - I bought one for £120.

When we moved in to our first house, it did look so different with no furniture and you start to notice things you didn't when you viewed.

My husband said it was a shit hole after about 1minute which really upset me as it really wasn't. It just wasn't to our taste. Once we had done it all up we loved it and were there 8 years. There's always going to be that niggling feeling of have we done the right thing but I'm sure it will be great for you maybe just not at the beginning. Good luck.

When we moved into our house now I sat there and cried. It looked awful.
I love it now.