Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

[backtothegrindstone]

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

We are moving to Sevenoaks from a vibrant city. Mainly because of education. Even if the kids go private for secondary, you still need good schools don't you in the vicinity. Join Sevenoaks Mums Network on Facebook. I haven't lived there yet but it sounds like it could be the kind of place you are looking for. Only thing is as it's a commuter town, you might find that people go out for drinks in London before coming home etc .......

That’s such an amazing idea @chopc. Where we used to have be there was an amazing Facebook mums network and it really helped make a great community. The mums network here isn’t very active- maybe that says something about the area. Checking out the mums networks in various areas could be a good way of checking out the tone of the area

If it's regular trains and an easy commute you want I'm going to agree with other posters and say Reading, particularly East Reading, Earley, Woodley. DH commutes into Paddington every day from Earley station via Reading and he can leave work at 5 and be home by 6. The schools are great this side of Reading, (Wokingham borough council) and despite its chain town reputation Reading has plenty of independent shops and restaurants. For independent eating this blog covers it ediblereading.com/about/.

Also lots of active community FB groups - Earley residents, Wokingham Gossip Girls, Earley Gossip girls, we even had an Earley Scarecrow trail last year which was amazing for bringing the community together.

I think you have to take into account of where you need to commute into.

It is no good if the local train line goes into Waterloo if you need to get to Merylebone or if you need to be around Paddington and the line goes into Farringdon.

I think you have to do your research beyond tfl journey planner.
I know one route where you can cut 5-7 minutes off the listed time when you get to s certain station and run across the platform to a different train line which only stops twice as opposed to the train you initially got on stopping umpteen times at every station.

Second the idea of signing up for local FB groups as a way of figuring out if a place is right for you. Wish I'd done that before we made our 'wrong' move out of London!

Thanks @oliveramumsarmy, but we go into London to visit clients at their locations so there’s no specific place we need to get to. Neither of us tersely have an office in London except occasional visits to our main offices but that’s irregular so it’s not really an issue.

Weird autocorrect- not sure why it says tersely!

Tunbridge Wells

Teddington, East Molesey or Surbiton are places I think you would like.

What about Rickmansworth or Amersham?

I would say Tunbridge Wells is definitely one you should check out properly. There are many sides to it - literally - and each seems to have its own appeal. Good train services, great food and drink places in town and around, lots of independent shops and eateries and lots and lots of greenery. Some lovely villages all around that you could look to for living or visiting. Great schools. Also only 30 mins to the coast and definitely in the HEART of national trust country!

You will find St Albans and north/north east are in a bit of a no-mans land as far as NT/English Heritage goes.

Another vote for St Albans, with your budget, you should definitely check it out. Although, hard to find detached, period property (Surrey has more period properties - Guildford, Hasslemere) with large garden within the good location for schools so you may need to wait for anything coming up (or something that needs a done up?). As previous posters, excellent trains and facilities, you won't have problems for brunch or coffee, too many in the town centre. You will find variety of restaurants - Turkish, Moroccan, Asian, Mexican, Greek etc. and the usual chain restaurants. A number of gyms, sport centres with swimming pools, 7 theatres, we have 3 big parks within 5 mins walks and drive from us. No-one mentioned about cinemas ? (2 cinemas one for teens - Odean, and one more catering to adult - Odyssey (well kept cinema where you can have tables with wine and cheese). :-) You will have more options for secondary schools if Catholic. Good luck!

Barnes is great and not under the flight path. Traffic is a menace though.

@zchm there’s definitely not an Odeon in St Albans??? There hasn’t been since 1995 and the Odyssey is now in the building which was formerly the odeon.

Guildford or Horsham

Tunbridge Wells

thighofrelief101 Barnes is absolutely under the flight path, is lovely and where I spent much of my time growing up but it definitely is on the flight path (planes are normally routed along the Thames).

Budget wouldn't stretch that far though

Lol at Barnes not being under the flight path. We nearly bought a lovely house in Barnes (20 years ago) until conversation with the EA was drowned out by planes every 30 secs on our second viewing. I love it round there but aircraft noise is definitely an issue. Doesn't seem to hold prices down though.

Definitely think you should look at Brighton & Hove area. I know you’ve said it’s too big but it’s got such a great vibe, you are straight out onto the downs, beach, lots of independent shops and cafes/restaurants. Someone has mentioned Preston Park which is quite a village type feel.

St Albans or Hitchin (which is like a mini St Albans but houses are cheaper and trains into London take a bit longer)

With St Albans you have to be careful where you live to - the centre of town has lovely period houses but it is known as the "dead zone" for schools are the catchment areas are tiny and many people find themselves being allocated schools way on the other side of town.

Beckenham covers lots of your list; 20 mins into London (although maybe too close for you?) easy access into country and lots of local green spaces for more local play. Good community feel and schools really embed this. Local gyms at David Lloyd or spa, cinema, Uber still available, takeaways available but we’ve noticed a change in type and quality compared with our previous location. Local shops are functional rather than boutique though however you’re very close to access these from other local areas... schools good and independent secondaries include the Dulwich schools, st dunstans, Sevenoaks etc and good grammar schools too. Your budget would be good in this area-maybe not masses of land though...
Maybe Chislehurst worth a look?

If you liked Esher and Cobham what about Claygate? Thames Ditton?

just to update, we visited Esher, Cobham, Weybridge and East Molesey this weekend. Esher, whilst looking nice on a drive through didn't stand up to scrutiny - there doesn't seem to be a lot on the high street. Cobham was nice but did feel perhaps a bit too posh for us. Weybridge on a Sunday seemed even duller than Dorking. We absolutely loved East Molesey - the riverside area was wonderful - lively and quite chic but with a great healthy outdoors vibe. But looking on Right Move I've realised quite quickly that you don't get much for your money there. And the trains aren't great with only 2 an hour so I think that's probably ruled out . So that's a shame. On to the next place.

Coooooooome to St Albans!