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Private school

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Original poster

Con man sending his children to the same school

121 replies

OneQuickPombear · 27/11/2024 10:56

I’m looking for a bit of advice…
we hired a project manager to oversee a renovation on our house a couple of years ago, there were problems from start to finish and at the end he lumped us with a massive bill thousands over the quote, even though we had multiple budget meetings. This was a massive shock and after we asked him to itemise the extras he got aggressive, threatening to come to our house rip out parts of the work. His wife also spent evenings liking every single one of my social media posts dating back years, which I’m guessing was an attempt at intimidation. He is now taking us to court and we are currently going through the legal process awaiting a court date.
To my horror I bumped into him and his wife at my children’s school drop off and turns out he has decided to send his children there. He doesn’t live in the town and there are many other private schools in his area. It’s a very small private school with a gorgeous family feel, all of the parents know each other and we are all very friendly outside of school too. He also knows both of my children attend there and I’m feeling so much anxiety surrounding the whole situation. Lots of the parents already know this guy is taking us to court as I have been very open about chatting about our house renovation and how much stress it was causing. I have horrible visions of us taking the children to school in the morning and then heading off to court. I would love to know people’s thoughts on the situation. I was thinking about sending an email directly to him and suggest he drops the case as it’s all just too much with our children being in the same school. Would love any advice! Thanks

OP posts:
Silenus · 27/11/2024 11:02

If he thinks he has a winnable case against you, I’d be very surprised if he’d do anything other than laugh at you trying to get him to drop legal proceedings because your children are at the same school. Not sure why the fact that it’s private or that he doesn’t live in the town or that there are other schools are relevant?

Original poster
OneQuickPombear · 27/11/2024 11:23

Our solicitor says he doesn’t have a winnable case, which is why we have gone this far with it. I included that the school is private and he doesn’t live in the town and that there are other schools, because he has gone out of his way to travel to the same school as people he ripped off, has threatened and is trying to sue, in a small community.

OP posts:
Lifeglowup · 27/11/2024 11:25

If your solicitor says they’re 100% con man won’t win then hold your nerve.

Chersfrozenface · 27/11/2024 11:28

Well, presumably when he loses the case he will also have lost his motivation for buying places at that particular school for his kids. And possibly some of his means of paying the fees.

So they may then leave.

thedevilinablackdress · 27/11/2024 11:28

I understand this is upsetting, but given your experience of him is he likely to respond positively to such an email? The only thing you can realistically do for now is ignore him if you see him.

JaniceBattersby · 27/11/2024 11:30

You’re just going to have to power through. Asking him to drop his legal action will do nothing more than make him feel more empowered.

People in all kinds of small communities have to confront uncomfortable situations like this everyday. I have to see my husband’s abusive parents dropping their other grandkids at the schoolgate every day. His ex who smashed his car up after they broke up (when they were 19, so it’s been 20 years now) is also one of my kids’ teachers. We just have to crack on because what choice do we have other than move miles away.

averythinline · 27/11/2024 11:33

Just ignore him/them... I would let the school know though that you are in legal dispute with another parent...

It's not his kids fault so would be very careful to not discuss in front of your dc and also maybe mindful of who and what you discuss with other parents though....just to be sure that his kids are not caught up in it....

TheCoolOliveBalonz · 27/11/2024 12:12

I'm not sure what you can do really. I'd let the school know about the legal dispute and that you have concerns that they are only choosing the school to intimidate you. The school may refuse them a place simply to avoid drama. Who knows.

cantarguewithfools · 27/11/2024 12:13

I would ignore him and refuse to say a word to him or his wife - not even hello. I would make sure all the other parents know about what’s gone on and the kind of person he is. I would also make your children’s teacher aware, so that your kids aren’t put together for projects etc.

Don’t let him intimidate you or push you out. He is the outsider, not you. Good luck with the court case!

Jostuki · 27/11/2024 14:07

If he and his children aren't causing any problems at the school or the school gate then just rise above it.

Perhaps have a word with the school to say that there is a legal dispute between you and another set of parents, without name calling or even saying what it's about just in case there is anything said between the children.

If your children are of an age to understand then make sure they know not to say anything to the other children.

Good luck with your court case.

TookTheBook · 01/12/2024 06:57

Are you suggesting he has gone out of his way to move his kids during term time to your kids' school as an intimidation tactic?

justanothercuppa · 01/12/2024 07:01

TookTheBook · 01/12/2024 06:57

Are you suggesting he has gone out of his way to move his kids during term time to your kids' school as an intimidation tactic?

Echoing this OP. I think you’ve obviously had a really tough time and he’s been very unpleasant so you’re now on edge, but I don’t think this move will be because of you. Were his children in private education before? Paying thousands and causing family upheaval to intimidate you isn’t very likely in my opinion. But I understand why you feel as though you may have been targeted. Try and separate this from the legal action though.

user1492757084 · 01/12/2024 07:12

Be polite.
Leave the lawsuit issue out of interactions in the school environment.

Ask your lawyer's interpretation of the builder's behaviour.
I can see why you are shaking in your boots.

KP93 · 01/12/2024 07:12

justanothercuppa · 01/12/2024 07:01

Echoing this OP. I think you’ve obviously had a really tough time and he’s been very unpleasant so you’re now on edge, but I don’t think this move will be because of you. Were his children in private education before? Paying thousands and causing family upheaval to intimidate you isn’t very likely in my opinion. But I understand why you feel as though you may have been targeted. Try and separate this from the legal action though.

Show quote history

Pretty odd given the circumstances though?

Changingnameagain · 01/12/2024 07:15

I would definitely make the school aware of the situation and your concerns.
Given that he became so aggressive and threatening when you challenged the bill it is reasonable for you to see him as a threat. Make it clear to the school that he and his wife are to have no interaction with your children at all and ask the school to be very mindful of any unkindness directed from his kids towards yours or any other comments made by any children that suggest this family have told others about the situation and are using it to be unkind to your children.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 01/12/2024 07:19

I’d make the school themselves aware of the situation.

agree you are on edge
do not talk to him about any of it and don’t talk to your children about it unless they are in the same class /year and even then under advisement from the school.

SarahJane03 · 01/12/2024 07:21

You state he has been threatening and intimidating. Ask your lawyer to look into an exclusion order. That could possibly include Zero contact at the school.

MineMineMineMineMine · 01/12/2024 07:22

Presumably he could be thinking he has a case and she genuinely owes the money. Even if he's got his maths muddled up many tradesman have to deal with clients who won't pay up at the end and if does get to taking them to court to pay.

I very much doubt he's brining his children into it and it would be wrong for you to sour relations with all the parents in a small school for the children's sake.

But I would let the school know.

dragongrl · 01/12/2024 07:24

Oh my goodness. This guy is going TO far.

Ophy83 · 01/12/2024 07:28

OneQuickPombear · 27/11/2024 11:23

Our solicitor says he doesn’t have a winnable case, which is why we have gone this far with it. I included that the school is private and he doesn’t live in the town and that there are other schools, because he has gone out of his way to travel to the same school as people he ripped off, has threatened and is trying to sue, in a small community.

If he has done this deliberately then he's not going to drop the case, it wouldn't make sense. So I would just ignore him. Leave communication to your solicitor

Moreovers · 01/12/2024 07:30

Don’t contact him for three reasons:

  • He’s clearly a bully and has tried to intimidate you in the past, he’s not a reasonable person.
  • You are involved in legal action.
  • He / his wife have harassed you before and potentially still are / will do again. You don’t want to give him any ammunition to say it’s you harassing him. Keep a note of the prior instances (FB etc) in case it ramps up any further.

You could factually and confidentially mention to the school that’s there’s current pending legal action between you (that he’s bringing) hence why best to keep children separate. It may give them pause.

Viviennemary · 01/12/2024 07:35

I doubt he is taking OP to court for the fun of it. He may even have some kind of liability insurance against this kind of thing. He has the right to send his children to any school he chooses. Maybe OP shouldn't have been bad mouthing him to everyone.

JollyZebra · 01/12/2024 07:37

Just ignore him. Get through the court case and get on with your life.

Moreovers · 01/12/2024 07:42

Viviennemary · 01/12/2024 07:35

I doubt he is taking OP to court for the fun of it. He may even have some kind of liability insurance against this kind of thing. He has the right to send his children to any school he chooses. Maybe OP shouldn't have been bad mouthing him to everyone.

Edited

You might be surprised.

Starlight7080 · 01/12/2024 07:48

Don't contact him. And ignore him at the school.
Hold your head high and don't let him intimate you any more.
He may move them if the commute is to much or if the other parents are not to friendly given they must know about his poor behaviour.

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