I'm too ill to take DD to school and now DH is unwell too -- can we just keep DD home for a day or two?

[SongsOfSongs]

I have COVID or the flu or something and I have been absolutely floored with fever, congestion, racing heart, etc. since Friday. I've camped out in the bedroom all weekend while DH took care of the children. Now, he says he's got it too. For me, it came on very strongly, so I worry that by the morning he is going to be very unwell. If he is, can we just keep DD home for the day? She's in Y5.

Ideas I've considered that won't work: We live a bit far from the school so no other families near us that I know of. No good enough friends that I would ask this of them either. It's tube + walking and I don't feel comfortable sending her on her own. I have an older DD but their schools are in opposite directions, so she couldn't make the primary drop and then get to her school in time and would get detention. Don't think I'd feel comfortable sending her in a taxi. Is there anything else I'm missing? Hopefully it'd just be a day - maybe two - before I was well enough to take her.

Never had one of us become ill before the other was better before!

But if she gets ill herself those days will be authorised sickness absence. It’s only 5 days of unauthorised absences that will trigger further action.

My DD was in this situation recently with full-on flu. She called the school and they completely understood.

Now I'm on day 8 of the same 'super flu' that hides from the vaccination. I could barely get from my bed to the bathroom for the first two or three days, then graduated to the sofa, under a duvet. I've spent most of the week wondering how on earth I'd manage if I had young children at home still.

And yes, somehow I was able to manage holding my phone and typing. There are some ridiculous posts on this thread. I couldn't have got a tube to save my life.

Ridiculous

I know, I was in intensive care with sepsis a few years ago and I still managed to type messages on my phone for most of it! Probably should have been up and about, going to work and taking my kids to school as I had the ability to type!

But then you probably couldn’t have looked after your children @saraclara . That’s the worry for me; I think a ten year old is better at school than at home with parents who need to rest themselves.

A 10 year old would be absolutely fine at home watching TV for a day.

There are some crazy ideas on here!
Ring school, tell them you are all ill and she won't be in until further notice.

No-one wants your germs, please keep them to yourself, or DD's class, including the teacher, will all be off sick, soon.

Please don't send her in a taxi, with or without one of you or take her on the tube or any of the other options people are suggesting that involve potentially infecting others.

You have no idea of the family or personal circumstances of the people you might infect. If you are having to ask the question, you are clearly ill enough to probably be very infectious, your husband more so. Your DD will potentially infect her classmates and teacher etc, too.

A child in year 5 missing a couple of days off school, possibly with some work to do if her teacher is able to accommodate that, is far better than infecting people. She's Year 5, and should be able to make herself a sandwich, watch the TV, read, play a video game, draw, write a story or any of the gazillion other ways a child can entertain themselves when their parents are unwell.

I remember having a major flu episode and it certainly meant I couldn't even look at a screen or a phone. How tired it makes you afterwards as well; I tried going out for a walk after my temperature came back to normal and I still felt weak. The girls could still pass it onto others even if they don't feel ill themselves, I don't think its wrong to keep them at home.

Most likely not. The daughter most likely is sick in a short time. No thank you.
Call in sick at school and go to bed.

It isn’t a day though is it? If the OP is so bad she can’t get out of bed that sounds like it might be several days. And ‘fine’ is relative. I’d want more for my child and I’d be doing everything I could to get them to school where there are adults who can care for them and their friends. And so I could rest as well!

She will do just fine at home.

To be honest, what teacher wants a child to come into school from a home full of flu virus?

I have a 10 year old. She is more than capable of amusing herself for a couple of days, reading, doing her homework, watching TV, cooking her own lunch, drawing, doing puzzles etc. She’d enjoy it, in fact! I’d be able to rest while she was doing those things.
Would she be better off at school? Probably. Does that mean that everyone around her should do everything possible to get her there, even if it’s to their own detriment and to the possible detriment of others? I don’t believe so, no. Sometimes you pick the best option for everyone. Parents wellbeing matters too. If she has to stay at home for a couple of days it isn’t the end of the world.

Well me, for starters, if she’s not actually unwell!

... and all the staff and pupils in two school.

OP does have a back-up plan. It's called not creating a problem where there isn't one and looking after herself while she's ill. Seems like a great plan to me.

It’s primary school so no big deal.

@ThiagoJones i don’t doubt she’d be ‘fine’ as in, OK. There are a lot of things that aren’t directly harmful but I try to avoid if I can. To me, this is something I’d personally try to avoid - for the child mostly but also for me.

I think taxi regulations vary between local authorities. In my area taxis can't take bookings for children under 14 years who are travelling without an adult.

I think primary school is more important to be honest. By secondary they can teach themselves to a certain extent.

What terrible problems are you imagining will befall this child in this situation? Failure in all future exams and a life time of unemployment and crime?

There is ‘ill’ I had flu last year there’s no way I’d have been able to take a child to school.

Just because you had to (and let's face it, the prospect of looking after 5 or getting them to school whilst ill is probably gonna fall the opposite way than with 1 kid) doesn't mean you should have or should have had to. It doesn't mean other people have to do things which are bad for them because your husband was awful. I'm sorry you went through that, I hope he's an ex now and you're living a better life, but it isn't a race to the bottom

Take today off but use it as a wake up call to make some changes so it doesn't happen again. Start being part of your school community and a "village" for other people, so you have someone you can easily ask next time. Is there no class WA you can post asking if anyone can help, I've lost count of the number of kids I took home or waited with when parents were late to pick up, totally normal request to just ask.

This will model community and problem solving to your DCs, which is important too. If you are prioritising your awkwardness at asking for a favour over your DCs education, that's a pretty bad message.