I'm too ill to take DD to school and now DH is unwell too -- can we just keep DD home for a day or two?

[SongsOfSongs]

I have COVID or the flu or something and I have been absolutely floored with fever, congestion, racing heart, etc. since Friday. I've camped out in the bedroom all weekend while DH took care of the children. Now, he says he's got it too. For me, it came on very strongly, so I worry that by the morning he is going to be very unwell. If he is, can we just keep DD home for the day? She's in Y5.

Ideas I've considered that won't work: We live a bit far from the school so no other families near us that I know of. No good enough friends that I would ask this of them either. It's tube + walking and I don't feel comfortable sending her on her own. I have an older DD but their schools are in opposite directions, so she couldn't make the primary drop and then get to her school in time and would get detention. Don't think I'd feel comfortable sending her in a taxi. Is there anything else I'm missing? Hopefully it'd just be a day - maybe two - before I was well enough to take her.

Never had one of us become ill before the other was better before!

Agreed. So much hyperbole over a missed day or two.

Have you ever heard of rural areas?

I was in a similar situation to you except my dc were younger. I phoned the school and they said they would put down on the register that ds1 was absent for compassionate reasons.

I would absolutely just keep her at home if there's no other feasible option.
If older DD could drop and pick up with a note from you to her school to explain, then that's the only other option I would go with.
Honestly blows my mind that some PP's are saying you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to take her. A day or two is not going to matter, it doesn't sound like spreading the virus on the tube and risk delaying recovery from trying to do too much is a good idea. and it's not like you're going on holiday or something! It's a genuine reason.
Shit happens - if keeping her off makes sense for the family then do that and just explain to school.

When I had Covid recently, because of other health conditions that made me more susceptible to, I could barely lift my head for two weeks. No exaggeration. It was horrible.

Honestly I think there’s a lack of intellect amongst the posters who think the energy required to type a post on a phone from your bed is the same as that required to take a child across London on the tube in rush hour and to make your way back again (while infecting others).

I would pop her in an Uber personally.

Hope you feel better soon.

You can't just 'suck it up' if you are so ill you can barely walk. I have had this virus and no way could I have walked further than the toilet. It would be dangerous to be on a busy tube platform when you are so ill and lightheaded/disorientated.

Yes, shit does happen.

Which is why, frankly, it’s a parent’s duty to build in back up plans when they have children.

I’m sympathetic to the OP’s dilemma (and am one of those saying the elder child should take the younger to school) but it does seem … unacceptable that a family living in London has no one to ask for help in such a situation. No family, no friends, neighbours, colleagues or acquaintances they can trust?

(Both my parents were immigrants to the UK. They didn’t arrive to any ready made community and neither had any family here. They were students, then trained for professions. Both worked full time throughout my and my siblings childhoods. There is no way they could have maintained jobs and homes and brought us up if they hadn’t proactively set about building a supportive network of people who could respond in exactly the situation the OP is facing.)

🤷‍♀️

If I could manage with 5 kids years ago when they were young and a husband who never helped,with fibro asthma and pneumonia at the time.then most people could.

I know. Can’t stand people who would happily spread their flu around. I got it from a taxi driver once who’d probably got it from a selfish passenger. If you’re ill with flu don’t give it to anyone else. It’s not a cold and can put you into hospital. My nephew has just ended up in hospital after contracting flu and he’s a healthy guy in his 20s - a teacher too which seems relevant to this discussion.

OP it’s fine to keep your child at home. They may well be infectious themselves.

My husband had the proper flu recently. He was so ill for 12 days solid that he couldn't dress himself or get down the stairs without help. He barely ate, barely left his bed, didn't even want to watch TV or use his ipad to entertain himself. He just slept, sweated, shivered, rambled nonsense through delirium and seemed to be barely consious half the time. He had such a raging fever that I fed him so much paracetamol and ibuprofen simultaneously to try to keep it under control that I started to worry I was going to make him OD.

After the worst of it had subsided, he was then still ill to the point where he was weak, exhausted, had a chest infection, no appetite and no energy to walk around or do anything useful for more than 15 mins at a time. This went on for a further month. The first time he attempted to leave the house alone after he felt capable of getting out of bed and dressed, he ended up vomiting in a supermarket car park and having to dash to their loo because of a violent bout of diarrhoeah.

So no, if it were him, he couldn't have 'mustered up a bit of energy' to drive anyone anywhere.

Call the school office

Sorry school we’ve got flu going through the family, possibly Covid so DD won’t be in for a couple of days. I’ll call again in the morning with a further update.

Ex teacher here. This is the most sensible thing to do.

Happened to us last year with flu, only DD had come down with it first so we just extended her time off sick with school. DH, I and DS were incapacitated for another two days and no matter what anyone says there is no way we could have even driven her there even in our p safely. She wasn't comfortable taking a taxi on her own and I don't know they would take such a young child on their own anyway without an adult. Call school to let them know, chances are she and your other DD may come down with it too anyway.

Family is ill with Covid/Flu. Kids are likely carrying it by now and soon to be ill, too, no? Just stay home, everyone and look after yourselves. 💐

What are the consequences of an "unauthorised mark?

@SongsOfSongs if call in and say she is feeling unwell .
Giver her some reading and spelling to do for the day and sit and do some math either her later maybe .

@SongsOfSongs Stick a face mask on, wash your hands before you go and take her in a Taxi. You can then go home in the same one and you and DH can have a proper rest.

Or send both girls in a taxi. Oldest can watch her wee sis go into school and then get to her own school. You can even give her a note to explain in case she is late.

I'd say taxi or something. You can literally go in the cab in your PJ's and have your daughter leave the car and go into the building herself. I know it's awful but single parents do manage this. One time my husband was away with work I had to get kids to school (an hour each way) for a week. Was awful but managed it. I had such a high fever I had an hour long conversation with a family member I totally forgot about and called them with the same news (unrelated) a week later.

That's what being a parent is right.

Please don’t send a child who is potentially a carrier of the flu/covid into school! Honestly I wouldn’t have given it a second thought I would have just emailed the school to say she was sick! X

Not for sickness it doesn't. Trust me, the amount of time my year 5 into 6 has had off over the last two years. We had 7 school days off in hospital, all I got was a "glad he's back"

DH sounds less ill than you so he should take her in. Failing that your elder DD could take her in a taxi and then go to her own school afterwards. Ring elder DD's school to let them know the situation.

That’s kind of the point though; if she really is that unwell then it’s not really great for either her DD or for her. She needs rest and DD needs some interaction and entertainment.

I would say the taxi is the best option even if someone goes with her (sitting in a car isn’t like sitting on the tube then walking.)

You think op should expose her taxi driver to a return trip with possible Covid or flu for the sake of a few days schooling knowing that if he doesn't work he doesn't earn? This is why we ended up in lock down. It doesn't matter who else you make ill as long as you don't miss any time off!