I'm too ill to take DD to school and now DH is unwell too -- can we just keep DD home for a day or two?

[SongsOfSongs]

I have COVID or the flu or something and I have been absolutely floored with fever, congestion, racing heart, etc. since Friday. I've camped out in the bedroom all weekend while DH took care of the children. Now, he says he's got it too. For me, it came on very strongly, so I worry that by the morning he is going to be very unwell. If he is, can we just keep DD home for the day? She's in Y5.

Ideas I've considered that won't work: We live a bit far from the school so no other families near us that I know of. No good enough friends that I would ask this of them either. It's tube + walking and I don't feel comfortable sending her on her own. I have an older DD but their schools are in opposite directions, so she couldn't make the primary drop and then get to her school in time and would get detention. Don't think I'd feel comfortable sending her in a taxi. Is there anything else I'm missing? Hopefully it'd just be a day - maybe two - before I was well enough to take her.

Never had one of us become ill before the other was better before!

It's shocking to me that this is even a debate due to the state of the threatening system of absence in England. I'm in northern Ireland and we would not even blink or hesitate to keep our children off school if we were too seriously ill to take them there. Had to do it a year ago in fact. Unless their attendance is already very poor for other reasons then this decision wouldn't even cross my mind.

What about spreading it about on the train? Or to the poor taxi driver for the wealthy amongst us?

I think this thread is an insight into how COVID did as well as it did.

That sucks OP, I really feel for you. It’s a catch 22 situation - at school, she’d be out of your hair for the day and you could rest for the day obvs but then it’s getting her there. If you have no way of anyone else taking her in then keep her home. Can older DD stay home too to help out? Surely one day won’t hurt.

Please stay at home for a few days.
Let the school know that you are both too ill to travel by public transport and that your daughter will be in as soon as you are well enough to travel.

I do wish that the man on my bus last week who had a continuous, hacking cough (but not a hanky or tissue in sight) had stayed at home or at least worn a mask.
I am in bed feeling dreadful now, the slight cold I started with 2 days ago is turning into a sore throat and continuous cough,,with a banging headache, and horrendous sweats too.
i have asthma so it's going to be fun.

OP don't worry, just let the school know and then rest as much as you can.

All the suggestions sound like a lot of hassle in order to ensure the child gets into school and spreads the flu/covid about. I’d keep her at home and put money on her coming down with the illness some time later today.

Please keep her off as it's high likely she has already caught it and is infectious even if not displaying symptoms. And please test. It's worth knowing if it's covid or flu because of the long term health issues that can arise from covid. Be aware that positive tests may not appear till day 4 of symptoms due to the slow increase in viral load (flu should test positive within day 2 of symptoms, more rapid viral load buildup).

Edit to add: if your test is positive, you are infectious until you get a negative test, so please take the necessary precautions to avoid spreading infection around. In the meantime, open your windows to air out your house so you are not all breathing in viral soup (it's airborne).

Phone the school and ask their advice.

Great idea.

To be fair OP did mention getting a taxi first so it must be manageable to her.

If you’re both too ill to get her to school then call or email and say she’s not in due to illness. If you word it like that you aren’t lying!

I remember doing the school run, going home to bed and setting the alarm so I struggled up and collected them. I think going by taxi is probably the best option.

Just keep her home, you’re both really unwell. Have a restful day and see how you both are tomorrow.

That's what I was thinking

The obvious solution is for your older dd to take her and for you to contact older dd's school. That said, how would you get her home again?

I love all the posts saying ill or not you have to send her in. These are clearly from people who have no idea what it's like to be really ill. When I had flu I could barely get to the bathroom, never mind get into a car and safety drive my child to school.

IKR. As much as school attendance is considered important here in New Zealand UK parents seems to live in perpetual terror of their children's schools in England.

What a silly comment. Have you ever had flu or Covid?

But then the LA has to provide free transport for the children. I think what that poster meant was people choose to send their child to their catchment school. That way there are always other families nearby who can help get your child to school if theres a problem

It’s a shame that you don’t know anybody in the school. Ideally, they could take your daughter overnight today and therefore take her to school tomorrow and you could have another day to rest.

I think I’d take the option of getting the older one there in a cab w youngest and calling oldest’s school to let them know. Hopefully this can be done on the way home.
i live in London too and there’s no way in earth id get on the tube with flu (assuming you take her on tube and don’t drive).
I’ve had times I can’t get out of bed either due to flu/chronic illness and there’s no way I could’ve taken DC to school, but never had DH ill simultaneously.

I hope you’re both better soon.

No. We were not offered the option of free transport. We get a less than a couple of hundred quid a year to transport 3 children to a school that is just under 3 miles away.

I wouldn’t even give this a second thought - just call in sick for her.

What the hell happens at other school where people are so scared of an absence on her record?! At my DD’s school, they’d just be thankful she isn’t there to spread it around.

I hope you and your DH feel better soon.
Please, just let the school know you are both too ill to bring her to school today.

As a former teacher, I would not object to organising some sort of work for her. Although, it might not be until later in the day. Or get her to do some BBC bitsize.

Maybe try and sort out a back up plan for tomorrow.

Take care

Keep your illness at home with you. Noone on a tube wants it I promise you!

I'd keep your DD at home. Anyone who thinks you should take her in are mad. She's probably ill too or a carrier by now.

Hope you all feel better soon.

Yes, it's funny how some people seem to consider it a badge of honour to spread germs.