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Primary education

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Original poster

Is this fraud and what to do.

329 replies

froggola · 19/05/2025 12:01

Please no judgement. DH and I have been living apart for a couple of years but still together. Me and kids will move back into with him in September.
When applying for reception place I put his address as our main residence. I also didn’t say DS goes to nursery. As the nursery he goes to would prove that my house not in the borough is his main residence. I know that is wrong but I made the decision in a moment when filling in the form….Ds got offered a place and now school want a home visit. It’s feeling really stressful. What’s the plan? To go there and fake I already live there? Withdraw the application? It’s making me feel uneasy. I’d appreciate honest advice. I wasn’t intentionally deceitful, but I was. by omitting information and lying about my address. …which will be my address by September. If it makes any difference I’m on the deeds and have owned the house got a decade…

OP posts:
Roadtripitis · 19/05/2025 12:02

Of course you were intentionally deceitful.

Snorlaxo · 19/05/2025 12:06

It is fraud as I assume that ds doesn’t live with his dad most of the time and you have no choice but to fake that you live there and hope that ds doesn’t mention his other house to the teacher.

Original poster
froggola · 19/05/2025 12:16

Roadtripitis · 19/05/2025 12:02

Of course you were intentionally deceitful.

I know. It’s making me feel unwell. I WILL be living there. It is my house. But I was not living in it , nor was DS. I did what i thought was best at the time but now with the home visit it’s all feeling insane.

OP posts:
BoleynMemories13 · 19/05/2025 12:17

Yes it is fraud. It was intentionally deceitful, and you know it was. You say you didn't put his nursery down as they'd know it's not his main address at the time of application, therefore you knew exactly what you were doing. It was a conscious, deceitful choice, and now you must face the consequences.

Is the school oversubscribed? This is the crux of the issue. If it's not, at least you haven't prevented anyone else from obtaining a place. If it was, someone else should rightfully have the space ahead of your son who wasn't living in the borough at the time of application.

You need to be honest. I can't guarantee what will happen next. You may get lucky and find they're not oversubscribed and therefore they might be happy to let it go, given that he will be living there in September. If they are oversubscribed though, the place absolutely has to go to the first person on the waiting list instead as the place is rightfully their's.

BoleynMemories13 · 19/05/2025 12:18

froggola · 19/05/2025 12:16

I know. It’s making me feel unwell. I WILL be living there. It is my house. But I was not living in it , nor was DS. I did what i thought was best at the time but now with the home visit it’s all feeling insane.

Show quote history

Unfortunately, owning the house makes no difference. The address on the application needs to be the child's main residence at that moment in time.

TallulahBetty · 19/05/2025 12:19

Hold on, why would the nursery place show that you live out of borough? My DD went to a nursery the other side of town, as that was where we both worked at the time. No one ever questioned it.

dairydebris · 19/05/2025 12:20

Honestly I don't see the problem. Just move in with your partner early. And stop with the faux naivety.

Original poster
froggola · 19/05/2025 12:21

BoleynMemories13 · 19/05/2025 12:17

Yes it is fraud. It was intentionally deceitful, and you know it was. You say you didn't put his nursery down as they'd know it's not his main address at the time of application, therefore you knew exactly what you were doing. It was a conscious, deceitful choice, and now you must face the consequences.

Is the school oversubscribed? This is the crux of the issue. If it's not, at least you haven't prevented anyone else from obtaining a place. If it was, someone else should rightfully have the space ahead of your son who wasn't living in the borough at the time of application.

You need to be honest. I can't guarantee what will happen next. You may get lucky and find they're not oversubscribed and therefore they might be happy to let it go, given that he will be living there in September. If they are oversubscribed though, the place absolutely has to go to the first person on the waiting list instead as the place is rightfully their's.

I don’t know if it’s over subscribed. So I should contact the school or the council and tell them?

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 19/05/2025 12:21

If you own the house and your DH lives there, why can’t they do the home visit there? I assume your DS must see his father at what is the school catchment address sometimes. Why, as a matter of interest, are you waiting until September to move back in together? Surely were you to move in now, it would make things easier all round, especially for the home visit?

Blimeyblighty · 19/05/2025 12:22

Why don’t you just move back in now?

RoofTopSingers · 19/05/2025 12:22

Move now. Move everything over so don't wait until September. Surely he sees his Dad anyway so this isn't something new for him.

Moreindecision · 19/05/2025 12:24

Chill out, this is really no big deal.
You'll be living at that address from September... you want your child to go to school near where you'll be living.

If you need to, do the home visit at that house. They'll ask about nursery. You can say where he goes... children can go to nursery anywhere so no big deal.
Do whatever you need to do for your child and to make your life easier when they start school.

Dreambouse · 19/05/2025 12:26

You'll be living there from September anyway, just go there for the visit they won't be scouring every room for evidence. I know some people get very upset by stuff like this, but as its your house you own and you will genuinely be living there by the start of term couldn't bring myself to worry about it. The reason they ask about nursery is often visits happen at the nurseries rather than home, it wouldn't have impacted the application.

FloppySarnie · 19/05/2025 12:26

Moreindecision · 19/05/2025 12:24

Chill out, this is really no big deal.
You'll be living at that address from September... you want your child to go to school near where you'll be living.

If you need to, do the home visit at that house. They'll ask about nursery. You can say where he goes... children can go to nursery anywhere so no big deal.
Do whatever you need to do for your child and to make your life easier when they start school.

^^
This.

LeedsZebra90 · 19/05/2025 12:27

Id move in now, mainly so there is no expectation on your child to lie. They won't care where he went to nursery, lots of people i work with use the nursery close to work but actually live in other towns/cities.

UpUpUpU · 19/05/2025 12:28

I am not seeing the problem? You own the home and intend to move back in there? I assume your child sees their father? So why cant you just be at the house for the appointment? They wont be checking the bathroom for your toothbrush.

I mean, if you are living apart for other fraudulent activity that is a different thread and matter.

RedSkyDelights · 19/05/2025 12:34

Well you eihter

  1. Come clean and accept that you might lose the school place
  2. Put off the home visit for a bit and move in properly now, so your child is actually resident there
  3. Go ahead with the home visit and pretend you live there already

(3) would require your child not to say something that gives the game away.

Why did you make the choice to put the address down in the first place?
If it was because you thought it was a better school, then other will have thought the same and you almost definitely will lose the place.
If it's just because you were pre-empting your move and wanted a local school, then why not do (2)?

sherbsy · 19/05/2025 12:37

froggola · 19/05/2025 12:01

Please no judgement. DH and I have been living apart for a couple of years but still together. Me and kids will move back into with him in September.
When applying for reception place I put his address as our main residence. I also didn’t say DS goes to nursery. As the nursery he goes to would prove that my house not in the borough is his main residence. I know that is wrong but I made the decision in a moment when filling in the form….Ds got offered a place and now school want a home visit. It’s feeling really stressful. What’s the plan? To go there and fake I already live there? Withdraw the application? It’s making me feel uneasy. I’d appreciate honest advice. I wasn’t intentionally deceitful, but I was. by omitting information and lying about my address. …which will be my address by September. If it makes any difference I’m on the deeds and have owned the house got a decade…

JFC, there's no shortage of people on here that are happy to bury the knife into you when you're just planning for the future and trying to do what's best for your children!

Firstly...

  • Is it fraudy? Yes.
  • Do you have your reasons? Yes.
  • Will you get caught and your children's education be compromised? Very unlikely.

You'll have your reasons for doing this and it's none of my business - come September you'll be living there anyway. Make sure you're there in early September if a teacher asks to visit you at home. Your relationship/circumstances don't sound the easiest and you have my sympathies. I'm sure you'll know what to say at the right times should anyone at the school ask.

Upon starting reception, will your child's new school query your address at the time of applying in the hope of shoehorning your child out of the school because you may not have fully lived there at the time? Not likely, and if they do then cite your complicated relationship, that you lived there in the past, that their father lived there at the time (and they have always stayed there for several nights a week) etc etc and they'll wish they hadn't bothered asking.

SheilaFentiman · 19/05/2025 12:37

AFAIK home visits are not compulsory.

Orangemintcream · 19/05/2025 12:39

Is the house furnished ? Can you furnish it now if not ?

Or can you just move in early ?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 19/05/2025 12:39

Why did you move out in the first place? An abusive or coercive environment never improves on return, no matter how much somebody may have turned on the charm and made promises that this time, things will be different.

herbalteabag · 19/05/2025 12:42

Just go there for the home visit. I wouldn't feel too worried about it as you'll be living there anyway when school starts. I expect they might have visited the nursery instead if you'd put it down, I think that's more usual? Anyway, I wouldn't hide the fact that he goes to nursery as he might talk about it!

Original poster
froggola · 19/05/2025 12:42

Me and kids currently live in a different town. I can’t move back till older DS ends term. I’d move right now if I could. We all used to live there as a family before me and DH needed time to ourselves.. I don’t actually think I could ask DS to lie to a teacher. Not just because that’s sick in the head but also because I don’t think he’d manage.

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 19/05/2025 12:45

Can DS move in with DH whilst you and older one stay put and move later? Or you move back home with DS and DH moves to your rental with older one until term ends?

This is DH’s problem as well as yours.

Todayisaday · 19/05/2025 12:46

How did you manage to do all the necesary forms without the documents.
We had to supply drs surgery details, council tax and child benefit letters.
If youre son stays at the old house eith dad often then you can do the visit there and say he stays at both houses but that is his primary residence surely.