Is this fraud and what to do.

[froggola]

Please no judgement. DH and I have been living apart for a couple of years but still together. Me and kids will move back into with him in September.
When applying for reception place I put his address as our main residence. I also didn’t say DS goes to nursery. As the nursery he goes to would prove that my house not in the borough is his main residence. I know that is wrong but I made the decision in a moment when filling in the form….Ds got offered a place and now school want a home visit. It’s feeling really stressful. What’s the plan? To go there and fake I already live there? Withdraw the application? It’s making me feel uneasy. I’d appreciate honest advice. I wasn’t intentionally deceitful, but I was. by omitting information and lying about my address. …which will be my address by September. If it makes any difference I’m on the deeds and have owned the house got a decade…

Was that completely necessary?

It’s absolutely fine. You’ll be living in the house from September. Due to personal circumstances you weren’t for a while. Just accept the place and move on. I hope your relationship with your DH goes from strength to strength. Can you just be at the house for the home visit?

I don’t think it’s such a big deal. It is his dad’s house. He’ll tell the teachers it’s daddy’s house perhaps but that’s not a big deal.
If you’ll all be living there come September then it’s not an issue really.

The teachers just want to see DS in familiar surroundings so they can make some observations on his behaviour and demeanour etc. This is primarily to help them to help him settle.

They may raise an eyebrow in the car afterwards that you’ve got into school through the back door but I’ve never met a teacher yet who would care enough to report you.

It depends on the LA. If you own a house, some insist that you must use that address even if you aren't living there. The intention is to stop people using rented addresses while still owning a home in the area. If OP's LA is one of those, she was not required to use the child's normal residence. She was required to use her husband's address.

By that I mean, you do the meeting at the house near school and that’s probably the end of it :)

We can't say that for sure either. If the LA concerned is not one of those that insists on using the address of any property you own, OP has made a fraudulent application and her son could lose his place even after he has started at the school.

I’m single and don’t get any benefits. HTH.

Some people on here would call you a "jealous woman" on the basis of this post
But then some people are idiots

Because there are months between when the application goes in and when allocations come out, so often the sale./rental will fall through or the applicants change their minds about moving etc. I believe some LAs allow you to use the new address if you have exchanged but not completed, but surely you can see that certainty of the actual 'end' address isn't possible in many cases of a house move.

I cannot see anything wrong with what OP has done. There’s an awful lot of scaremongering and judgement on this thread. The child will be living full time with both his parents from September
and going to the local school. Brilliant!

OP, you don’t have to do the home visit if it’s making you feel uncomfortable. The visit is just for the teacher and child to meet. They can do that in September when he starts school. But our home visit was in September anyway, so yours might be too.

Relax. Enjoy your summer. I hope the move goes well. By the end of September this will all be forgotten.

I'm not sure how your comment relates to my post. Did you mean to quote me?

No, it's simply to get to know the child and family in a setting they feel comfortable (many people feel more comfortable talking about their child's toileting, eating habits and medical needs in the privacy of their own home). We gain all sorts of information about the child's family and interests in order to help build the relationship. It's lovely being able to chat with them when they start school about pets you have met or toys you have seen. It really helps some children to see you as a trusted adult. When mum has left and they're left in your care for the first time, you are not a stranger but someone who their parent trusted to let into their home. You're someone who already knows lots about them, who knows some tips to calm and distract them in order to put their mind at ease.

In deprived areas, the home visits can be especially enlightening. We absolutely do not judge, but it's really helpful to see the living conditions for ourselves in order to better understand the family's circumstances and needs. For example, you understand why a child is always tired when you find they share a room with 3 siblings, including a teenager and a toddler. You understand why they never have their bag, or often can't find their school shoes, if you see they're living in a cluttered environment with no space to call their own. You understand why they struggle to look after resources at school, if their own toys are bashed and broken. It's not about judging, it's about understanding. Visiting the home can really help build a picture and help us to empathise with that family, much like health visitors carrying out home visits. We're aiming to work together, and in order to do that it's really helpful to see the family home.

Some parents are very anti home visits, as they see them as us 'spying' on them but, far from it, they're a very useful information gaining and getting to know you exercise. Nothing more. In cases of families who are in need of support, we are able to guide them in the right direction for where they can get that help.

Maybe all those posting about how terrible this all is live in London where school places are fought over? Where I live, everyone goes to the school they choose without any issues. Never known anyone not get the school they wanted.

Whether you can see anything wrong is irrelevant. What matters is the LA's rules. If they say you must apply from the address where the child lives regardless of any property you own, OP's application was fraudulent and the LA is entitled to remove her son's place. The fact OP may move to the address she gave on her application by September is irrelevant. What matters is the situation at the time she applied.

You’ve done nothing wrong.
We moved areas and when I was applying for new schools for the kids I put the address of the house we were buying. I didn’t put the address of the house of the we were living in at that time because they needed places in the new town.

It would be silly to put your current address knowing you’re not going to be living there when they start school.

Just explain the situation and that you're moving there. We had to put our "new" address down as were in the process of moving house. Schools aren't monsters. What would your alternative have been, apply to a school you're not going to be living near by the time you start? People are making this out to be a bigger deal than it is. I think because you uses the word "fraud". Things are tricky when couples separate. Just be upfront now.

I don’t see a problem? You’ve given the address DS will be living in when he goes to school. One of his parents already lives there. Presumably he has a bedroom etc there? The teachers are just there to get DS to meet them in a familiar environment and to check he doesn’t live in a hovel.

Oh my goodness, I wrote the same thing the same time as you!

And if the school request to do a home visit, either do it from the house you’re moving to in September or state you won’t be able to fit in the time to do one.

You give the address the child will be living in when they go to school. Which is what she’s done.

Is the house going to look like he visibly lives there? Does he have his own room, toys, in particular books [in case the teacher wants him to show him/her his favourite book] etc. If so you're overthinking it. He's 4, he's not going to get the Spanish Inquisition.

It was intentionally deceitful OP, you know that.

Either way why can't a home visit simply be declined? Does their dad not have any parental responsibility? If he does surely the home visit can simply be done at his address, surely the kids must go there?

Does your DS every visit or live with your DH? Has he done through the course of his time at nursery?
If so then I think you can speak to the school an explain that he lives between two residences but the one you have given will be the main family residence as of XX date.

i wouldn’t worry, you own the house and you’re moving back into it. What else would you do apply where you are currently living and then try to move in year? That would be very difficult in some areas.
I applied living at one address and hadn’t moved into the house I owned and I just put the new address on the application and an explanation, child was allocated the school based on the new address

If his Dad lives there then surely he spends some time there?