Right to be annoyed about a divorce book from school?

[Mumoftwoboys123]

Hi everyone,

Im just looking for some unbiased opinions if possible please. My son is 4, and gets a library book from school each week to bring home for us to read together at bedtime.

Tonight I’ve started reading his book ‘mum and dad glue’ and had to stop as he was in tears thinking me and his dad are splitting up! He knows everyone has different families and parents, but don’t think he’s ever understood before that it could happen to his family one day.

Am I right to think this book is totally inappropriate for a child of his age to be given at school? I understand it could help children going through family issues, but not something an anxious little boy really needs on his mind!! He has nightmares most nights as it is!

Am I right to be annoyed?

@Ljcrow this has been taken out of context, I was referring to commenters saying if something is happening in the world kids should know about it and not be shielded - not to do with the book!

The tone of the replies on here are so unnecessarily nasty. It's not the worst crime in the world this post really.

I'd dodge this book if I had a sensitive child and we weren't separated.

The new arsehole ripped for OP is completely unwarranted. Even if you disagree.

Perhaps some of us have already raised children to adulthood and have a good idea of what we're talking about. No need to be so emotional and sarcastic about it. I have strong, independent and resilient teens/young adults, the deep end (how dramatic, it's a book) isn't always as deep as you think. Kids feed off your emotions and reactions. Sometimes their reaction is a reflection of your own. For example if they fall and you gasp and fuss they will think they are hurt, if you dust them down and say silly step or whatever them they will laugh with you and forget it quicker. Choose how you manage things, don't over indulge sensitivity or wrap them in cotton wool as they will feel it more when you unwrap them. Start early and build that resilience, both yours and theirs.

Mother of 22-year old DD. Agree totally with this. I worked on a 'no censorship, read everything' basis with her. That meant she picked picture books from the library when she could read and attempted chapter books written for children older than her. We talked about anything she wanted to talk about. This approach was based on me overhearing a conversation between my parents when I was 10. My mum was alarmed because I was reading a novel from the library about what was then called an 'unmarried mother'. My dad said: 'All that matters is that she's reading.' Well said, dad.

I do think children pick up more than we think but because we teach them some things shouldn't be spoken about they keep quiet and just worry or discuss it with friends even 4 year olds. Personally having worked with children for 30 years and having dealt with telling them about bereavement, serious illness, break ups etc. I think using books and toys to talk through the shit they see and hear about at their pace is the better option. Keeping them in a bubble means shit keeps through and it's other people's thoughts they hear not the parents. You explain things at their level and pace. One of the hardest things I've had to do is explaining to a 3 year old and 7 year old where mummy was after she had gone to sleep (in dad's words) a year before.

@Tittat50 - no, not remotely. I was explaining that as horrifying the op finds the idea of divorce being and therefore something on the same scale as war and famine (her words) I was trying (and I appreciate you can't tell that I'm light heartedly saying it) divorce is for the majority I would think, painful at the time, expensive, but you move on and forget about it. Like a trip to the dentist.
So many people don't bother to marry these days, and it's amazing to be part of a generation who aren't trapped by societies attitudes and financial constraints in the way women of previous generations were.
So I wasn't taking it personally because I've been damaged by divorce, I was trying to explain it was the mechanism that set me free for bigger better things, and nothing to need to shield a child from. I think it's right that children start to understand from a young age that people don't fall apart when there are bumps in the road, you figure stuff out, muddle through, learn a lot and hopefully emerge in a gain of some kind.

This idea that young children should be taught that marriage is wonderful is nonsense, given how many fail.