Son called a disgrace over something he didn't do

[Baby2020triplets]

My son along with three other students got called a disgrace to the school over something they didn't do ,

I witness the accident and said which student it was and they didn't get told however the 4 students (including my son) got blamed ,the head teacher called all 4 a disgrace to the school and embrassement to the class , if my son had done it it would be fair enough however he didn't none of the children who got blamed did anything wrong.

I spoke to the head and she point blank refused to apologise after we ask her to she told us they deserved to be called a disgrace to the school even after I told her I saw it happen ,
I asked her not to be alone with my son as he is extremely upset by it I asked dshe didn't have contact with him one a 1:1 until this matter was sorted out and investigated she tole me this is her school and I don't get to tell her what to do

Am I over reacting

How did you witness what happened?
You told the head teacher she’s not to be alone with your son?

I think you are overreacting a bit by telling a headteacher that she can’t interact with your child on his own. You can’t really dictate that and I’m not surprised they took offence.

If it is now 100% clear that the wrong children were held responsible for the misdemeanour, then I think it’s fair for the school to meet with those blamed again to say it’s now been sorted and it’s clear they did nothing wrong.

There must have been some reason the teacher told off those certain 4 children and the fact you are the parent of one of them means she may not believe you are an independent witness. Especially given you making unreasonable demands such as the teacher not interacting with your son. What was the incident and did anyone else see it?

What happened, and why do they believe your son was involved when you’ve explained that he wasn’t?

I watched the accident happen as I was walking from work when I seen them out ( they were on the playing field)
My son is absolutely petrified to be alone with her as she scream at them they are a disgrace and an embrassement she is refusing to blame the real child who's fault it was and still blaming the 4 innocent kids she refused to meet with them to apologise, and said she will not

Sure, head teachers never make mistakes and always fess up when they do. 🙄

@Baby2020triplets I don't think you over reacted. This sounds like a crappy situation for your child. It's one thing to be told off for something you didn't do, but to be shamed that way in front of other pupils, that's awful.

How old is he? Older children might be more resilient about this kind of stuff. If you've done as much as you can with the school, it sounds like a good teaching opportunity, about how what other people think doesn't matter and that sometimes the adults get it wrong.

An accident?

If it was truly an accident, why is anyone to blame?

How amazing you were just passing at that particular moment, op.

What happened then? I mean, what did you witness?

I think you are overreacting a bit by telling a headteacher that she can’t interact with your child on his own. You can’t really dictate that and I’m not surprised they took offence.

If the head teacher is behaving in a way you deem harmful, it's not an unreasonable ask at all. In her second year of high school, we had my daughter's key teacher told exactly the same thing. She was damaging my child's mental health, bullying her and going against so many things we had agreed to in TAC meetings. I said she should never be involved with her, but accepted there would be some unavoidable times the teacher was around her.

Head teachers rarely have constant contact with children, it's entirely appropriate to request that if the child needs to be in front of a head teacher, there is someone else there.

I also ring cam footage of the accident a boy rode his bike into the 4 pupils and they fell off the boy who caused the accident did not fall of , that's why they got told of as the teacher taking the class thought they were being silly , when I told the teacher she apologised however the head is refusing to apologise, my son is 10 but very sensitive and a model student he has never been told off before let alone been called a disgrace he is so scared others will think he is a disgrace.
I said to the head all ypu have to donis say sorry but she won't

I think you just need to tell your son that it's not a big deal, there was some confusion over the incident and the head misunderstood. She's not going to be screaming at him everyday for the foreseable future I'm sure. Everyone will have forgotten about it in a couple of days, don't make a huge thing out of it and then your son won't either.

Why don't you share the Ring footage with the head teacher? And possibly the other parents involved.

Screaming and shouting is weird, perhaps address that with the board of governors.

If you have footage, send it to the school via email and escalate if she doesn't apologise in as public a way as she told them off.

Well to tell the truth I knew they would be doing it on the field and my son joked I was not to watch as it would be his last time doing the event but I just couldn't stay away 🙈 thank god I was there to see it happen

Of course they make mistakes but going in all guns blazing like it sounds OP did is not the way to get them to admit it. And one of the parents saying "my son didn't do it" is not exactly cast iron proof they didn't. If the head teacher wasn't there someone else must have named OPs son.

Your posts are so confusing. Was it a school event, on the school playing field? How in earth was it captured on your ring doorbell?

Iv told her I can send it amd she said she doesn't want to see it ,

We also said the other parents of the children who got blamed and me said we would like to make a formal complaint she said you can but nothing will happen so I would bother , unfortunately this happened last week and he is still very upset

Was this bikeability?
If so the children will have been given an extremely clear set of rules as the day after practising on the field and they go on the road.
And if they are already on the road they will have been warned that any silliness will be taken extremely seriously as it can be life and death.

So your son told you he was going to be doing something and not to watch but then you 'just happened' to watch anyway? Who has a ring doorbell covering a school playing field? because that is not great in terms of privacy for the pupils in the first place.

The four who came of their bikes all got blamed the teacher who toke the class has apologised as I told her what i saw and she said sorry she didn't see what happened but just saw them 4 on the floor and thought they were messing around,

Formal complaint to the chair of governors. Written email asking for a meeting. The head sounds unhinged

You need to go above her

It's not a school playing it's the village playing field where the school do their sports I live next the playing field we all over look the field and most of us have ring door bells ,
Yes I watched my son do it I want every memory of his last year in school as I can , no harm in being a parent showing up