Son called a disgrace over something he didn't do

[Baby2020triplets]

My son along with three other students got called a disgrace to the school over something they didn't do ,

I witness the accident and said which student it was and they didn't get told however the 4 students (including my son) got blamed ,the head teacher called all 4 a disgrace to the school and embrassement to the class , if my son had done it it would be fair enough however he didn't none of the children who got blamed did anything wrong.

I spoke to the head and she point blank refused to apologise after we ask her to she told us they deserved to be called a disgrace to the school even after I told her I saw it happen ,
I asked her not to be alone with my son as he is extremely upset by it I asked dshe didn't have contact with him one a 1:1 until this matter was sorted out and investigated she tole me this is her school and I don't get to tell her what to do

Am I over reacting

So what actually did your son do? Fall on the floor?

What does “toke them in” mean?

It obviously means the class teacher who took them for the class.

Of course they make mistakes but going in all guns blazing like it sounds OP did is not the way to get them to admit it. And one of the parents saying "my son didn't do it" is not exactly cast iron proof they didn't. If the head teacher wasn't there someone else must have named OPs son.

One of the parents should be enough proof for a decent head teacher to say "ok, let me have another look at it and I'll come back to you"

Right the Head isn't going to apologise. If you decide to take this to the Governors and send the video evidence then use Goblin Tools or similar to spell check your letter. What you would be better off doing is talking to your son, show him the footage and say that you know he didn't do it, and he knows he didn't do it which is what matters. That the Head made a mistake but won't back down as they need to save face and whilst it is a big thing to him to the Head, they have already forgotten about it, and will have just chalked it up as part of their normal day

You and your son need to toughen up before High school otherwise he is going to be eaten up and spat back out. He will get shouted at / teachers will raise their voices and be stern. He probably won't get an apology. For many teachers particularly those teaching practical subjects like science and DT where there is a real chance of harm they will be strict and silly behaviour, whether his or someone else's will not be tolerated.

There will be a policy on the school’s website which will tell you how to make a complaint and what you can expect in response to your complaint. There will be a specific named person to send complaints about the Headteacher to. There might also be a form to complete which makes it easier to know what to include.
Keep your complaint factual and unemotional and state what you would like to happen in response.

I appreciate this is slightly off-topic but if your Ring doorbell is recording what is happening on the village green, you need to change the orientation. I would be furious if I thought that children's school activities were being recorded by random people for no good reason.

Do you actually need to ask that or are you making a point? The OP has already said her written English isn’t great.
But, assuming it’s a genuine question, I think the OP means she took them in.
HTH.

I was just coming on the say the same as the last pp- you really shouldn't be recording people on public land and you probably shouldn't be sharing footage of people on the green.

How close to the front of the house were they cycling for you to get it on a ring doorbell?

www.which.co.uk/news/article/is-it-legal-to-record-security-camera-and-smart-doorbell-footage-at-your-home-akMQD1C0P0zi

I do wonder whether the OP hasn't told the whole truth and actually filmed in on her phone but knows she'll get slated for that.

If I understand there were four children including your son on bikes in the field doing some sort of school lesson? Something like cycle proficiency? Or trick cycling? I have no idea. And another child on a bike rode into all four of them knocking them all off their bikes, but that child didn't fall off. The teacher supervising didn't see what happened, but you did. The four children got told off for mucking about on the ground and the other one didn't. All sounds a bit odd and a storm in a teacup.

Why did she use the word disgrace?

From reading the post again it seems that the school do all their sports on the field and you apparently have a camera that covers at least some of this field. This cannot be true? You must know that you shouldn't be recording kids doing school lessons and should have that area blocked off from recording.

Neither of those reasons given by the headteacher are true or sensible.

She doesn't get to choose whether you send the video footage. That is your decision to make. Please send it by email. Cc in the teacher.

It's not up to her whether anything will happen with a complaint to the governors. Make the complaint together with the parents of the other 3 children. Get them to help you write it and/or use AI to write it. Stick to the school's complaints policy.

I agree there should be far more security on the field .. ring doorbell should not be recording children playing .

i doubt she screamed .. children who usually not in trouble find a stern voice harder to handle .

The child can’t be in the same room as your child is ridiculous . It’s likely a very small school from what you say and you are more hung up on the words sorry than what needs to happen

I'm pretty horrified that a ring doorbell is being used to record school children doing sport. Have all the other parents given you consent?

OP surely the bikeability instructor would be able to give an accurate account of what happened. Have you spoken to them about it?

If you make a formal complaint to the governors I suggest that you do so as a group along with the otter parents and get a native English speaker to write it as your posts make for difficult reading and you won't be taken seriously.

Stop recording children I would call the police if I found a parent doing that

I think this is a teachable moment for your son about the importance of apologising when you make a mistake even if it hurts your fragile ego. The head thought she was doing the right thing at the time but turned out to be wrong, by refusing to apologise she has made things worse and lost his respect. She will now struggle to earn it back. He can learn form it even if she won't.

Your son is ‘very sensitive’ - hardly surprising when Mummy overreacts to everything and wants to demand the headteacher isn’t left alone with her baby boy ! Your son already said he didn’t want you watching what he was doing, but you did anyway - there is a difference between being interested in your children’s lives and obsessive over involvement.

Is there a board of governors? Who is above the teacher?

Find out.

Email the footage to them and explain what happened so people understand.

eg "John is on the blue bike, Jane is in the green bike, Paul is on the black bike in the red jacket, James is on the black bike with blue jacket.

Paul ran into James and knocked everyone off their bikes.

The head teacher shouted at the children that they were 'a disgrace'. However she blamed the wrong ones (Paul and James, when it was Johns fault). The shouting was upsetting and unprofessional.

While I understand that head teachers don't always know what happened, because of her shouting, my son is now really upset and having nightmares. I attach footing that I happened to capture which shows the incident.

It would be helpful on this occasion if the head teacher could speak with the children concerned to apologise and ensure that the naughty behaviour from John is noted.

It would be a helpful lesson to all concerned that if you're behaviour is dangerous you will get caught. And if you are innocent that will be noted.

I am not in the habit of complaining about such matters. The school is very good and the children happy. But everyone has a bad day and I feel that was likely the case on this occasion however the head teacher refused to view the footage or take any action to reassure my terrified child he's not in trouble, so I have no option but to take this matter to you. Thank you"

Op will probably have to explain how she “happened” to have footage of a class of school kids on her ring doorbell (or phone).

😁

I don't think getting otters involved will help. 😉

I doubt she screamed at them.

Head sounds unreasonable.

Also you really shouldn't be recording footage of a field regularly used by schoolchildren, that's creepy and quite concerning.