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can i tell you about my dd?

111 replies

nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:21

my dd seems to be very individual
she is the only child in the whole school who wears the entire school uniform every day. all other children just wear a polo shirt and trousers, dd wears long sleeved shirt, tie, doulbe breasted pinafore etc etc. she CHOOSES to do this. once i said to her "why dont you wear a polo shirt? itll be easier for gym time" she said "no thanks mummy, i like my shirt and tie its very smart"
so i just left it. if shes happy...
she isnt into things other girls are. but she is HAPPY with this.
until she tries ot join in and its awkward for her.
she also looks different (apart from the uniform) she has short frizzy hair that drives ME batty but dd loves her hair! shes always brushing it and says how beautiful it is she wears wierd combinations of clothes but as long as its not a bikini in midwinter then i just leave her to it
she isnt interested in toys. she will do the odd word search or pencil puzzle but mostly she just draws, cuts, sticks, paints, glues all day long. she has never bothered with dolls or the like.

anyway (crying here) i worry that one day she will see the difference with her and her friends and be sad. just now she is happy (except when feeling awkward about joining in - she sometimes tries and it comes across as her being bossy and shouty)
i just want her to be happy

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nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:23

it probably doesnt seem much to you

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cornsilk · 24/04/2008 09:24

My ds does that nailpolish!

nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:25

does what bit?

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ingles2 · 24/04/2008 09:25

my gut reaction nail is that your dd is a confident, self assured, independant and individual child and I think that is something fantastic! I have 2 ds's, 1 is a bit of a sheep and in with the crowd iykwim and the other is totally different and individual too. He is also happy and unless this changes I will continue supporting him in all his quirky little habits

bluenosesaint · 24/04/2008 09:26

Aww naily she sounds fabulous!!

I think its a wonderful thing to be happy in your own skin and your gorgeous dd seems to have managed this already - what a girl!

Maybe she'll always be happy to be different - i think thats a wonderful quality

She seems utterly delightful!

ingles2 · 24/04/2008 09:26

mine is 6 nail, how old is dd?

SmugColditz · 24/04/2008 09:28

People will see the difference in her and they will find her interesting because of it. She will be an individual always!

cba · 24/04/2008 09:29

just keep telling her how fab she is, we all meet nasty people no matter how nice you are. She sounds great dont try and change her. My dd thinks she is a boy and wrestles all the time because of her two big brothers!

nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:30

shes 5 and a half

sometimes i think i am the only person who sees the real dd - i spoke to dh about it for ages last night and he sees it too

she will be happy getting on with her own thing but then someitmes i see her face fall

she ahs the cutest little face too

i am very emotional about ths and have been crying all night

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cornsilk · 24/04/2008 09:30

He always wears his shirt tie etc - won't wear a polo shirt. Wears same tracksuit bottoms - have a drawer full of them all the same style! Always wears a hat, even on warm days. Won't cut his hair, he's happy with it. Isn't interested in footy like his mates,doesn't even pretend to be to fit in, plays with teddys(!) and isn't bothered about what anyone thinks - he's 10!
He could not give a chuff what anyone else thinks. I suppose he's an individual and extremely strong willed.

DrScaredOfNorks · 24/04/2008 09:31

naily - with exception of the hair (DD hates all things hair related), you could be describing Flamechick.

nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:31

oh god i dont want her to change one bit and i wouldnt try to at all

i just dont want her to try to fit in either

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throckenholt · 24/04/2008 09:31

try and boost her selfconfidence. Nothing wrong with being different if you are confident and happy about it.

The only problem is when you are different and it upsets you, and you feel left out.

nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:31

cornsilk he sounds adorable

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heididrink · 24/04/2008 09:32

My DD is a complete individual so I do know where you are coming from.
She is 17 and has never tried alcohol - been on a date - or gone into town with a group of mates.
She has always preferred her own company and is very self contained.

I stopped sending her to birthday parties when she was around 7 as she hated them. She said the other children made too much noise .

I do find it difficult when other mums are stressing out about their teenagers as I have nothing to contribute to the conversation and I do wish that she was more "normal".
However she is happy and has always said that she would never be " a sheep" and follow the crowd.
Your DD will be fine and will probably never give you any worries.

stealthsquiggle · 24/04/2008 09:32

Yet another issue where you will worry either way - I worry about DS being too much of a sheep - too many silly exploits 'explained' by him as "well X told me to" or "X was doing it first"

If your DD can maintain her self-confidence then she will attract people on her terms, rather than forcing herself to fit in with the crowd. I knew people like that as a child and always envied them.

nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:32

how do i try to teach her 'joining in skills'

she cant just go over to a bunch of friends and 'join in'

does anyoneknow what im on about?

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jumpingbeans · 24/04/2008 09:33

She sounds like a very happy little girl.

nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:34


THANK YOU for coming along and telling me about your dd
i hope my dd is like that as a teenager. its how i imagine her but i worry about outside influences trying to change her

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saadia · 24/04/2008 09:34

Just echoing what everyone else has said, she does sound lovely and self-assured, I wish more children had the gumption to know and follow their own interests. If you are worried about awkwardness around friends could you invite one or two friends over and sort of guide your dd to practise playing and interacting with them.

lol at "bikini in midwinter".

heididrink · 24/04/2008 09:34

My DD has never joined in and TBH when I tried to force her she was miserable.
Do you think that she feels left out?

nailpolish · 24/04/2008 09:35

thing is, its a very very very small school (even tho its in the middle of a city) and therofre not a lot of other girls to play with - and they all seem to be the same

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DrScaredOfNorks · 24/04/2008 09:35

I'm not too sure about joining in skills. DD sort of just bowls in, the other kids used to see it as confidence, but she is coming home more and more saying that they don't want to play with her, so I think it may have spilled over into bossy.

cazzybabs · 24/04/2008 09:35

I feel like that about my dd1...but what can you do? I can't force her into things...maybe they can be odd balls together

heididrink · 24/04/2008 09:37

My DD has always preferred the company of boys- she finds them less complicated

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