can i tell you about my dd?

[nailpolish]

my dd seems to be very individual
she is the only child in the whole school who wears the entire school uniform every day. all other children just wear a polo shirt and trousers, dd wears long sleeved shirt, tie, doulbe breasted pinafore etc etc. she CHOOSES to do this. once i said to her "why dont you wear a polo shirt? itll be easier for gym time" she said "no thanks mummy, i like my shirt and tie its very smart"
so i just left it. if shes happy...
also
she isnt into things other girls are. but she is HAPPY with this.
until she tries ot join in and its awkward for her.
she also looks different (apart from the uniform) she has short frizzy hair that drives ME batty but dd loves her hair! shes always brushing it and says how beautiful it is she wears wierd combinations of clothes but as long as its not a bikini in midwinter then i just leave her to it
she isnt interested in toys. she will do the odd word search or pencil puzzle but mostly she just draws, cuts, sticks, paints, glues all day long. she has never bothered with dolls or the like.

anyway (crying here) i worry that one day she will see the difference with her and her friends and be sad. just now she is happy (except when feeling awkward about joining in - she sometimes tries and it comes across as her being bossy and shouty)
i just want her to be happy

I know what you mean about the 'joining in.' If my ds's friend is off school he often has no-one to play with as he doesn't want to join in with the football crowd. They would let him join in I'm sure, but he doesn't want to play football. Makes me when he tells me he's spent lunchtime sat in the cloakroom.

no, i dont think she feels left out. but then shes only 5
she seems to really like school, she loves telling the class about news at 'newstime' where they stand up at the front (so shes confdient then) and she loves reading and writing
playtime and lunchtime are ok so far

i dont think much of her teacher though - she doest see dd the way i do

oh cornsilk poor wee lad

dd has a little sister who is completely the opposite - she ahs gorgeous tumbling blonde curls, everyone adores her and shes very charming, she plays all day wiht dolls and prams and she wil have hundreds of clone friends when starts school next year

they get on GREAT at home - they play rough and tumble and freeze tag and out in the street on scooters together

Yes my ds2 has a totally different personality as well! He seems to know everyone and has lots of friends. Funny isn't it?

i think the other mums think my dd is wierd

that really upsets me a lot

It's their loss!

Another parent once described ds as eccentric. And he is.

nailpolish, your dd is still very young, its great that she has that amount of confidence to be herself. My dd always likes to do thing "the right way" and always wears her school uniform properly etc etc

Don't cry, instead

Totally agree. If they're not bothered about what people think then that's half the battle in life isn't it? Self-esteem is all about your view of yourself and how much you care about how other people view you. If you're happy with yourself and dont care how other people view you then your self-esteem should be high.

nailpolish, your dd sounds brilliant! And don't worry too much about what the other mums think, they don't know her and if they don't take the time to get to know her then their opinion doesn't really count for much. I'm sure that's very idealistic of me, but still.

I know when I was at primary school loads of the other kids and their parents thought I was bizarre - I am was loud, bossy, dressed in untypical clothes, intense, competitive and socially awkward. Yes, there were times when I felt a dissonance between me and the other kids and wondered why that was, but it never affected me to the extent that I considered how to be more like them. Plus, looking back I know some of the mums had problems with me because my mum was gay - I'm sure they thought it was catching .

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, don't worry about what may be in the future. Inevitably there'll be upset for your dd, as there always is for all kids, but I think it's amazing and v cool that she's got such a strong sense of self and I honestly don't think that she will grow up wishing away her differences, especially not with such a loving mum on her side

yes i know.

i just want her to be happy. its so simple yet so complicated

My DH will say to my DD
" Hey xxxx why dont you go off to the park and drink some cheap cider - please give us something to worry about"
She just looks at him as if he is mad and shakes her head.
My DTS however more than make up for her and I will be a gibbering wreck in a few years time

cyteen youv e got me blubbing again

thanks for your great post

i had such a SHIT time at school - i dont think memories of that are helping

heididrink is your dd happy most of the time?

she plays to the beat of her own drum and I think that is just glorious

so one day (possibly just during adolescence) she may see some difference, and she will learn social skills to make herself fit in more

but she may not and people may continue to just enjoy the fact that she is so shiny

good for her

she sounds like my BF's DS2 and I adore my BF's DS2

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she is happy
but sometimes i see her face fall
like in playground this morning she ran over to say hiya to someone and they were in the middle of a game she hadnt noticed

and this other girl ran away (as part of game) and dds little face fell

Yes I would say that she is.
She is adopted so perhaps that is why I have been able to take a step back and have found it easier to accept that she is different IYSWIM.

She hates to be part of the crowd and altho I have not always found it easy I have learned to accept that she will be different.
Is your DD clever?
Mine is and I have always thought that she is able to see certain situations for what they were and reject them ie she hates cliquey girls

I am really proud of her as she has will not be swayed by others.
She was due to go out with a large group of friends from school at Christmas - first time ever - but when she discovered that there was going to be alcohol involved she refused to go.

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yes i think she is very clever. her teacher also thinks this - we recently had a parents evening and she said this numerous times.

heididrink your dd sounds great. you must be very proud of her

cod i dont think her tacher knows her very well

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we do loads together
i tkae her to an art club
we go shopping in town
she goes to swimming club
she also wants to start violin

dh takes her aand dd2 to golf

rainbows - she is on waiting list byt tbh she sint that keen - same with ballet - i asked her if she wanted togo (all other girls do) but she said nope

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