To ask teachers to not share with grandparents?

[bows101]

My grandmother picks my DS up once a week due to my working pattern. Every day I pick my DS up, they usually open the door and he comes out. Barely a word is said, or if it is, its something very generic like 'yes he's had a lovely day'
My grandmother however always tell me the teachers are coming out to her and telling her or asking her specific things. In the beginning I feel she probably asked 'how was his day' which I told her to stop asking. Her job is simply to pick him up, it's not really relevant to her to ask questions about his day and whatnot.
She's known for exaggerating and not understanding exactly what she's been told (always has been like this) so the messages she passes on to me, I can never be sure exactly what was said. As it's more like how she's interpreted and taken it, rather than factual.
I want to email the school to tell them to stop asking or telling her information, she's there to pick up only. I do pick ups twice a week and his dad does the other 2. How can I say this in a nice way to them so they stop telling her stuff?!

You're being ridiculous

"her job" fucking hell.... Pick him up yourself if it's that much of a problem

You sound mad.

How much stuff is there even for a teacher to say at pick up? Ours just go "Sammy, mums here".

And that's it...

Her job is simply to pick him up

Bloody hell

Apparently it is behavioural concerns. Things which are not brought to my attention throughout the week but then saved for my grandmother on a Friday!

Are you addressing these behavioural concerns, beyond telling the school not to talk to the DGM who helpfully collects your child for you?

Her job is simply to pick him up

Wow. Do you treat all family members like staff?

Maybe the teacher finds your Grandmother more approachable than you? I can’t imagine why…

Bollocks.They would email you or dad if there were behaviour concerns.

You’re a right one . You don’t deserve the favour she does for you .

How can I say this in a nice way to them so they stop telling her stuff?!

Well you can't say it in a nice way because what you're saying is pretty horrible.

I feel she probably asked 'how was his day' which I told her to stop asking. Her job is simply to pick him up, it's not really relevant to her to ask questions about his day and whatnot.

I hope your granny tells you where to stick her help to be honest.

How old are you? If he has a great grandmother of an age to collect him from school I am assuming you are quite young, are they maybe assuming that she is responsible for him?
Obviously however young you are doesn't mean they get to pick the adult they feel is the most adult-ey but just wondering if that's what's going on?

the solution is:

pick the child up yourself from now on!

being a grandmother isn't a job!

I think it's completely fine if you tell the teacher

'just so you are aware, my grandmother who collects Jim on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays is not always completely reliable with passing on communication. So, if there's anything important then please let Jim's dad know on Mondays or Fridays or if it's important give one of us a ring. Thanks.'

I'm a primary school teacher. I would share positive things with grandparents but things of concerning would contact parents unless I knew differently. I wouldn't have an issue with parents requesting this.

Interesting that I seem to be the only one saying this though.

Oh my.

My Mother and Step mother in law can be a bit OTT with everything and ask so many questions they ways find something concerning when I never would have asked. I am just grateful that they are responsible and living and caring to my son that I can trust them with him.

This is contrasted by my mother in law who is an addict and has a partner who legally cannot be around children that aren't his own. (They are not allowed near my child).

I tolerate the niggles from the 2 loving grandmother's my little boy has. It's far better that your little one's grandmother is over cautious and over zealous than not caring and putting him at risk.

Granny pick up my child, but no talking, you hear me!!!????

Her job! She's his grandmother not his au pair. If you're like this at school pick up no wonder they don't want to share information with you.

It's the OP's attitude, I'm a primary school teacher too and happily share things with grandparents. However if as the OP says there are behavioural concerns, I would set up a meeting with the parents as per school policy.

I think you're getting roasted here for no good reason. I wouldn't want potentially important information relayed to someone who gets confused, misinterprets, doesn't repeat a conversation factually and who is without parental responsibility!! Are you certain they're telling her key things or is she getting muddled up? An easy fix would be to ask the teacher to email anything of importance to you and the child's Dad because she can get it wrong sometimes.

Tell your grandmother you will change your working pattern and collect your own child from now on and you appreciate that she has done this for you previously.

She's getting roasted because she said her grandmothers "job" is to collect the child.

As if shes a member of staff and not a loving family member doing her a regular favour..

I agree and this is certainly how things work at my DC school - they catch me next morning or send me a message if grandparents picked up and there was something they wanted to raise.

But the OP has a horrendous attitude towards a family member who is doing her a huge favour in collecting her child and that has rightly annoyed posters. I would never dream of referring to those that help me out by providing childcare the way she has.

I would ask the school going forward to contact the parents if any issues regarding behaviour/work rather than via another person as easier to deal with teacher directly

Another thread full of ridiculous responses from the off, this place is becoming virtually unusable.

OP might be missing out on important information without even being aware, of course it's reasonable to expect to be told things directly. I pick up a child for a close family member and it's true that my 'job' is to pick them up, not get into discussions with the teacher in place of the parent, that doesn't make my family member a "right one". OP words something slightly clumsily and all the pompous scolds swoop in for a pasting.

🤣🤣🤣

No, OP is being an absolute arse. If she's so bothered she should arrange her own childcare not tell her grandma she cannot ask how her grandson's day was.

I don't think you're wrong to want to hear the information yourself, of course you want to know anything pertinent about your child and hear it first hand. Just tell school you're getting slightly mixed messages from gran so can they make sure anything to be relayed is to be relayed to you.

I think your phrasing sounds very critical which is putting posters backs up.