Hi,
We’ve just had our first parents evening of Reception and I’m feeling a bit disheartened by it (although obviously keeping this to myself and not telling DS!)
DS is 4, will be 5 early next year. He’s attended nursery and their attached pre-school since around 10 months old. He’s never had any concerns raised from them or health visitors - our last parents evening from pre-school lasted all of a couple of minutes where she just told us he was great and a HV’s feedback was that she hadn’t heard a child speak as well as he can, for years.
He’s a wonderful boy and I tell him everyday how proud I am of him and that all I want is for him to try his best but I felt something wasn’t communicating from home/school.
School graded him as being in the ‘birth to 3’ category for pretty much everything and there was lots said that he couldn’t do that he can and has been able to do for a very long time (recognising his name as a basic example).
They said he can’t blend his phonics (although does recognise them) but he reads these no issue at home. They’ve put him into a very small ‘support’ group for phonics now and he’ll be getting books with no words in. I don’t want to overface him and put him off so I appreciate this but a small part of me feels disappointed.
They also said his fine motor skills are poor and he cannot grasp scissors or hold a pencil so they’ve moved him down a step but didn’t seem to say what this would entail. He’s shown no preference for a dominant hand in writing and his pictures are all just scribble still with no clear shapes. They said we should use play dough or colanders at home.
He’s never shown an interest in drawing at home even though we’ve offered it alongside crafts. We’ve printed out pictures of different characters he might like and given him these to colour which keeps his attention a bit more.
He’s formed a close friendship with another boy but he’s quiet and the pair of them would stay in one area of the classroom all day if they could. He’s coming across as quite shy and I don’t know if that’s why what he can do isn’t coming across at school.
There were 2 big learning diary books showing off what the class had been doing and it was full of answers/comments from the same children and DS barely featured.
He’s such an imaginative and funny little boy who never stops talking at home. He questions everything and has so much knowledge about the world (his memory is also incredible). He loves reading and we’ve read to him every night since before he was born.
I have noticed however that when we’re present, he refuses to speak to whoever else is around - tonight for example, he refused to speak to the teacher and just sat hiding himself on us. He would also do this at pre-school, refuse to speak to the staff at drop off/pick up when we were there.
He also doesn’t seem to enjoy group activities but will play lovely on smaller terms e.g. we took him to a football club last year but he refused to get involved at all and just jumped around in front of me making loud noises, telling the adults ‘no’ if they tried to encourage him.
I’ve fell down an overthinking hole - not because I want to be a pushy parent or pressure him (!) - just through wanting to support him and I know it’s only early and they develop at different times.
I’m questioning whether it’s very simply that he’s only 4, it’s new and he’s a bit shy, but then I have other silly thoughts wondering if pre-school have missed something or I’ve not been good enough in some way.
Is there anything else I can be doing to help him? I just want him to be happy at school but making sure if he needs any help, we’re there for him.