Told my 4 year old is behind at school

[dual90]

So yesterday we went to parents evening at my DD school. I kind of knew it wouldn’t be all that positive because a week before we had been invited into the school to view one of the classes. My DD was not her best that day, crying and clingy. I noticed she was being placed at the front of the class which I know isn’t a good sign! I come from an education background- so I’m well aware of certain words like ‘interventions’ etc.

My DD is one of the youngest in the class, so she’s on the bottom 5th age bracket as she is a summer baby. The teacher just seemed to focus on the negatives, but threw in she plays well and is happy! But then launched into she’s struggling with the learning and is not ‘retaining’ and information! I did challenge her on this as at home she makes all the sounds for phonics and recognition letters. She’s also been deemed as bright in nursery and counting to 20 since she was 2! She’s interested in numbers and counts a lot and she’s been doing this for a while. She then says she didn’t recognise numbers, again we challenged her on that too as she does recognise them at home. She seemed a little baffled and kept saying she was ‘behind her peers’.

For a start I thought most learning in reception was play based and we would t have this kind of pressure this early only 4 weeks into term and being told she is not matching up! I did say to the teacher that developmentally there is going to be huge differences in learning just by the sheer difference in age for some of the children, she firstly agreed with that then contradicted it by saying she has other kids the same age who are coping fine. But we still said she seems to be doing fine with these things when she’s at home. We also have no idea what it is she is supposed to be learning. She says she’s in a small ‘intervention’ group. I find this concerning that this is already happening and quite worried she will be pigeon holed straight away and this young age. She had never had a problem learning and nobody had flagged this before, in fact I’d say the opposite. Her speech is better than some children that are 2 years older than her. I had reservations about sending her this year anyway, I felt she may not be ready but she really wanted to go. I also am slightly dissolution ed with whole school system anyway, so for me it’s sadly confirmed many reservations I’ve had. I do not want her to be off as a 4 year old and she’s already had a very tough start in life.

The teacher says if she doesn’t catch up now the gap will get bigger, I found this a very negative thing to say. I know in other countries they don’t even start this stuff until 6 or 7? And they do just fine. But straight away the pressure is on. We will try and help her catch up, but just this morning after the teacher said she didn’t recognise numbers we nearly filmed her doing it as she recognised them all!! And she has done for a long time. I did point out to the teacher that she just doesn’t know the name of the game yet and that she needs to know these things, so it’s more immaturity than anything else.

any thoughts or advice

I don't understand what you mean, I am autistic so used to being laughed at though. GMary20 was saying it doesn't matter that she isn't the brightest child in the class, this is going to be one child, or maybe two or three if one child excels at numeracy more than literacy or vice versa.

Hi I’m back, a Reception teacher.

There’s a great document you can read called Development Matters which details where children should be working in within each subject for their age bracket. Have a look, I think from the sound of it your daughter is doing just fine.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/development-matters--2

Hope that helps.

OP she is just 4. As parents as know our children best and their learning. It's very rare that parents who are educated will miss something and then the teacher tells them especially when it concerns learning. At 4 they don't answer always even when they know the answer because they don't know that an adult is judging them. They are so young, when they will have to sit for exams they will know the consequences of not doing it well. I faced the same with my daughter and she is also late summer born but is very bright. Just because at times she doesn't answer that doesn't mean she doesn't know the answer. I believe in letting them progress on their own rate if it's age appropriate and if there are no issues with learning. If you are hands on parent then you would definitely know about their learning.

Hello i just came across your post and i know this was posted 2years ago, but i’m going through the exact same thing with my 4year old snd its stressing me out, but i read your post and wanted to know if u did anything further?

Intervention in Reception is basically just extra practice with play based phonic games within a small group of 3-5 other children or number games , probably last 5-10 minutes so don’t feel intimidated by “intervention” and feel it’s a negative .