Told my 4 year old is behind at school

[dual90]

So yesterday we went to parents evening at my DD school. I kind of knew it wouldn’t be all that positive because a week before we had been invited into the school to view one of the classes. My DD was not her best that day, crying and clingy. I noticed she was being placed at the front of the class which I know isn’t a good sign! I come from an education background- so I’m well aware of certain words like ‘interventions’ etc.

My DD is one of the youngest in the class, so she’s on the bottom 5th age bracket as she is a summer baby. The teacher just seemed to focus on the negatives, but threw in she plays well and is happy! But then launched into she’s struggling with the learning and is not ‘retaining’ and information! I did challenge her on this as at home she makes all the sounds for phonics and recognition letters. She’s also been deemed as bright in nursery and counting to 20 since she was 2! She’s interested in numbers and counts a lot and she’s been doing this for a while. She then says she didn’t recognise numbers, again we challenged her on that too as she does recognise them at home. She seemed a little baffled and kept saying she was ‘behind her peers’.

For a start I thought most learning in reception was play based and we would t have this kind of pressure this early only 4 weeks into term and being told she is not matching up! I did say to the teacher that developmentally there is going to be huge differences in learning just by the sheer difference in age for some of the children, she firstly agreed with that then contradicted it by saying she has other kids the same age who are coping fine. But we still said she seems to be doing fine with these things when she’s at home. We also have no idea what it is she is supposed to be learning. She says she’s in a small ‘intervention’ group. I find this concerning that this is already happening and quite worried she will be pigeon holed straight away and this young age. She had never had a problem learning and nobody had flagged this before, in fact I’d say the opposite. Her speech is better than some children that are 2 years older than her. I had reservations about sending her this year anyway, I felt she may not be ready but she really wanted to go. I also am slightly dissolution ed with whole school system anyway, so for me it’s sadly confirmed many reservations I’ve had. I do not want her to be off as a 4 year old and she’s already had a very tough start in life.

The teacher says if she doesn’t catch up now the gap will get bigger, I found this a very negative thing to say. I know in other countries they don’t even start this stuff until 6 or 7? And they do just fine. But straight away the pressure is on. We will try and help her catch up, but just this morning after the teacher said she didn’t recognise numbers we nearly filmed her doing it as she recognised them all!! And she has done for a long time. I did point out to the teacher that she just doesn’t know the name of the game yet and that she needs to know these things, so it’s more immaturity than anything else.

any thoughts or advice

Why all this angst? We all know some Dc are behind at 3. And 4. And a few all
thrir lives! We all know some never catch up and others do and make huge strides. No one knows how this DD will be over KS1 when she gets there. Yes, Dc are assessed in YR. EY curriculum is rarely replicated in a home setting but applies to nursery where Dc will also have been assessed with info going to the school. If OP doesn’t like this “outstanding” school she chose, or how they work, move to the local school which was deemed unsuitable or home educate. I don’t get the fuss. It’s just a few weeks into YR and DD isn’t top of the tree at 4. So what?

Better that they pick up on this now.. it’s not nice to hear but if I’d have known my son was struggling sooner it would have saved him lots of stress and might have helped him do better in the long run. Try to not be so sensitive and don’t take it personally.

Schools are forced to produce data on all their pupils - and they are judged by OfSted if their data to not match up to at least the national average. Children who are late developers bugger up the data. Makes you sick.

There are of course times when being aware that a child is struggling with something is a positive key to opening up the right help for them; but in the OP's case we know the child CAN do these things but is simply not doing them at school - and the child is 4 FGS!! - there are countless years ahead of her!

I am CofG at a very small rural school and sometimes it looks as though 20% of a year group are failing - sounds awful until you realise that 20% is one child with SEN!

To the OP - do not worry about your child. The motivation to measure and record comes from the government. And they can jog on ......

@TeenLifeMum I wasn't marking your work.

You are aware that you can just click on "See all" and see all the OP's posts thread?

With threads that are over a page long it is worth doing so as frequently the OP has posted more details.

@Reugny yes I am and often do but also work full time while studying for a masters and have 3 school age dc so apologies I didn’t meet your standards for replying 😂😂😂 maybe change your user to mn quality controller.

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. This is how I fell exactly. I feel the need to question anybody who simply says my child cannot do something when I bloody know she can! I know the teacher had experience- but as you have said it’s all about data and impossible targets.

Her observations don’t match up with mine. Who knows her better? Me or the teacher?

Thank you

Sorry, I have to disagree, the teacher told us what she had been assessed on, We disagreed she could not do these. She can.

It’s not case if I can’t bear to hear it, it simply seems bloody unfair and slightly premature to making these judgement . Yes, of course Bob started school at just turned 4 and could do everything. And somebody else started at 6 and couldn’t do anything, but that is anecdotal. Most kids born in summer take a whole to catch up, there is scientific proof that that is the case. In other countries Scotland, Ireland and even Wakes they delay starts because of this.

Sge had assessments in nursery and no never flagged up as being behind where she should be. The teacher said she didn’t recognise numbers, she can and she has done fit s long time. The teacher Audi said that they only need to know up to 5 anyway, she knows more than that, so it’s not a case of us massively over estimate her.

I think more than anything she isn’t completely ready for this.

I was talking about the comment you’d replied to. If you tap quote history it’s there.
The whole ‘no child is behind’ at this stage just baffles me!

It doesn’t matter where she is in terms of the rest of the class. Surely the teacher should be staying where she is in terms of national expectations. We have a high performing year1 class but the lowest are still average nationally. They are where they should be for their age. The parents would not be told they are behind the others, they’d be told they are doing what they need to be doing.

What did the teacher say when you told her your Dd knows her phonics and numbers at home?

We’ve had chn in intervention groups for one term and as soon as it’s realised that they’ve got the idea, they come out. It’s not necessarily a long term thing. Don’t panic.

Can you imagine having a parent this angry and competitive after a few weeks into YR? I’m sure the school will be praying the OP moves on. Can you imagine 7 years of this? How ridiculous the op sounds and teachers will be in for a rough time if they dare to disagree with the parent. Home is never quite the same as school and the op sounds obnoxious at best.

See I don’t think that the OP is angry and competitive. I think she’s realising the absurdity of the UK education system for the first time. I think she’s frustrated. And she’s allowed to be.
OP @dual90 as a PP said it’s a all a big game of targets, statistics, graphs, assessment and measurement. Dictated to by Ofsted/the Department for Education. It’s so sad for our children and parents. And for teachers really as they’re forced to deliver this ‘one size fits all’ system of education.

But we have what we have! You either accept it, as the vast majority do, or educate DC yourself.

The op is adamant she has taught her child various things at home. She wants them recognised by the school. That’s competitive and she’s angry her DD hasn’t had her advanced skills recognized by the teacher. Education is about far more than assessment, I agree. However, I’m also old enough to remember the free for all prior to the national curriculum and how many Dc got a poor offering from schools with teachers leaving many Dc behind due to absurdly low expectations and no one checking on quality of education. Ever. Parents able to teach got their Dc achieving highly. It was a lottery for the others.

Therefore more children benefit from being assessed and help and guidance given. If parents don’t like it, there are alternatives. However the op has assessed her child hasn’t she? She says she can do things. So assessing yourself and then complaining about assessment in school is hardly consistent. It’s still going to be hard for the school!

Jeez people are allowed to criticise. It’s one of the principles of democracy.

Primary school is still a total lottery as to whether they have a high enough boredom threshold. Those that don’t ‘underachieve’.

You can rage all you like but the system we have is the one we have. It’s not going anywhere. Labour didn’t change it when they were in power. Now schools can choose assessment which isn’t by levels but they will want baseline in YR. What you might want (I wouldn’t) isn’t going to happen. We’ve been there and it didn’t work. How can you teach effectively if you don’t know the starting point? If underpins teaching and how the curriculum is taught.

Perhaps your dd is shy or just does not want to answer when the teacher asks? She is still young and this can happen. My dd does this sometimes (age 3) where she just won't respond to the question you ask because she is busy or just does not feel like she wants to answer it. She is bilingual, and she does the same in both languages. As she gets older she does this less and less. But perhaps it can be shyness at school....esp if your dd knows this stuff at home.

My eldest when in reception the teacher said sometimes its like she cannot hear her....which immediately was a red flag to me, so I took her to GP and we found out she had glue ear, she was tested and she had temporary loss of hearing....so we had her sit in front of the class and the teacher understood that she might need to repeat louder if my dd did not respond etc.

Also, as pp mentioned, if you are worried, you cannot depend on the school to catch your dd up or advance her. They are busy enough and if you want something done right, you must do it yourself or pay someone else to do it (but still monitor to make sure they are doing it right lol). That being said, your dd is young! Let her enjoy playing outside.

The fact that you have use the the words 'it doesn't matter that she is not the brightest' shows me that as a teacher everything that is wrong with our education system. The fact we can write off a child at 4 - 4 weeks into a term as not being the brightest is just wrong on so many levels. The fact we still use those terms in a classroom setting is equally worrying.

They aren't writing your child off. I have no idea why you are insistent that they are.
They have noticed that she is finding some areas more difficult than some of her peers, at this moment in time, so they are putting interventions in place to support her.

What do you want to happen?

Op, it's a snapshot! They're looking at where she is at the moment. It's not a judgement on how she's going to be in year 6, or year 1, or even in the spring term.

If anything, they're trying to level the playing field for the summerborns.

What's wrong with 'not the brightest'? This is the majority of the class.

Well anyone with half a brain knows that different children/ people have different strengths and intelligence.

People who judge kids as ‘not the brightest’ based on the narrow range of things they are assessed on at primary school really are ‘not the brightest’.

Yes, of course children have different strengths. There's nothing wrong with not being the brightest child in the class though, as this is almost all the children.

No it isn’t you can’t judge ‘bright’ like that.

But you’re obviously me of your own majority. Nothing wrong with that though right 🤣