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Primary education

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Original poster

Being told that taking child out of school whilst I'm in hospital will be unauthorised absence

113 replies

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:07

Has anyone been told before by their DC infant school that any absence for a medical need that is not that of the child's would be unauthorised absence?

I have requested authorised absence for DC whilst I go in for my elective caesarean and they have told me that this wouldn't be granted and would be unauthorised. We have no family or anyone close by to be able to drop and collect DC and they will be going to my parents over an hour away whilst I'm in hospital (and obviously DH will be with me). I don't know what else they expect me to do!

I am aware that they have this year granted authorised absences for children to be taken away on holiday - but they are refusing to grant one day for a medical reason!

I have emailed them to request again and plead but if they still say no - how can I take this further? The school board?

They're causing me a lot of stress which I don't need right now.

OP posts:

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RockyRoadster · 19/09/2023 11:09

Get your parents to look after them at your house?

CanOfGerms · 19/09/2023 11:09

Why do you need it to be authorised?

whatwasthatgrandma · 19/09/2023 11:10

Just let them write down whatever they want and completely forget about it?

I'm really not getting the angst, at all.

Sirzy · 19/09/2023 11:10

It’s not their medical though so it won’t be authorised.

if they have authorised holidays then there will be very specific reasons they have done so which you won’t be privy too.

Giveituphq · 19/09/2023 11:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:11

RockyRoadster · 19/09/2023 11:09

Get your parents to look after them at your house?

They're unable to drive so wouldn't be able to collect from school anyway as we aren't within walking distance of the school.

OP posts:

septemberoctobernovember · 19/09/2023 11:11

Of course it's unauthorised. It doesn't mean you don't do it but it would never be authorised. Your parents could come to your house, your husband could be with you for your c-section but drop him and pick him up or he could go to a friends house after school to play until your husband is able to collect him. Your parents could drive the hour to collect and drop him.

BorgQueen · 19/09/2023 11:11

Tell them to swivel 🙄
Tell them your child WILL be with the Grandparents, end of conversation.

Original poster

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:13

CanOfGerms · 19/09/2023 11:09

Why do you need it to be authorised?

Because DC would be off school, I thought I'd do the decent thing and give them notice that DC would be missing a day of school.

Apparently I shouldn't have been so considerate and just send DC to parents and tell the school DC is ill as it seems easier 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

EarthlyNightshade · 19/09/2023 11:13

Why does it matter that it is unauthorised?
I get that authorised might be better but it's not like you're going to make a habit of it. I would just roll with it, schools are very limited in what they can authorise.

Original poster

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:14

Sirzy · 19/09/2023 11:10

It’s not their medical though so it won’t be authorised.

if they have authorised holidays then there will be very specific reasons they have done so which you won’t be privy too.

They have however authorised absence previously for when DC didn't attend school due to childcare issues when I was in hospital having a D&C.....

OP posts:

cocksstrideintheevening · 19/09/2023 11:14

You don't request absence, it won't be authorised. Just tell them he won't be in school that day. End of.

Tothemoons · 19/09/2023 11:14

So what if it's unauthorized? It's only of consequence to their figures. They deliberately word it to make you feel like a naughty schoolchild. You don't need their permission, you just do it. If you prefer, just ring your child in sick. Stupid rules, stupid consequences - that's on them. Don't give it any headspace, concentrate on keeping well in the final stages of pregnancy.

Certainlyreally · 19/09/2023 11:15

Can't they (GPs) stay at your house, and your DH drop to and collect from school?

Noorandapples · 19/09/2023 11:15

I would have your husband have a meeting with the head to fully explain that it's unavoidable and will be happening. Unfortunately schools seem to take men more seriously, which is stupid but there it is. If they can't be reasonable that's on them but it's not a jolly holiday. Don't let yourself take the work of it, let him navigate them for the both of you.

whatwasthatgrandma · 19/09/2023 11:15

But why is it "causing you a lot of stress"?

Where's the stress?

ArenaAthena · 19/09/2023 11:16

Why do you care that it's unauthorised? Just let it go, no need for stress.

Or bring your do to your house the day before so DC is in their own home and no worries if you end up needing help for longer.

Arrange for DC to go to wrap around or ask another school parent to do the lifts for your parents.

Getting your dh to drive hours and be with you all day, plus your DC being away from home and out of routine sounds like a less good option in a lot of ways. Your dh will have to do a minimum 2.5 hrs away from you to get DC back with your plan a which sounds a bit stressful.

Ricewhispies · 19/09/2023 11:17

It's a foreseen absence that isn't relating to their medical needs but to your childcare needs. Its reasonable Its unauthorised but unless they're off often Its unlikely to make any actual difference so not sure what the issue is.

vestedinterests · 19/09/2023 11:17

Are you for real @Noorandapples ?

TTNBCAATTH · 19/09/2023 11:17

I’m another one who doesn’t understand why you are worried that it will be unauthorised - it doesn’t mean you can’t keep them off, and you also won’t be fined. It’s just for the schools attendance records and doesn’t effect you unless your child has lots of unauthorised absences.

septemberoctobernovember · 19/09/2023 11:19

Noorandapples · 19/09/2023 11:15

Terrible idea, what a waste of everyone's time. It's unauthorised, big deal, no discussions needed.

BoohooWoohoo · 19/09/2023 11:20

It doesn't matter if the absence is authorised or not.
Just tell them what day your dd will be off school and what day she will be back 🤷‍♀️

RoseAndRose · 19/09/2023 11:21

It really doesn't matter that it's not authorised.

But as it's an elective section, it is really necessary for the DC to stay away? They're done pretty much during the working day, so parents at your house, DH drops them and picks them up if timing permit, or your parents use a taxi.

After all, if it wasn't a known date, you'd hardly be sending them off to your parents for the whole period during which you might be going in to labour!

LydiaTomos · 19/09/2023 11:21

It doesn't matter if it's unauthorized. It won't be on his CV.

Original poster

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:22

TTNBCAATTH · 19/09/2023 11:17

I suppose it's the stress of everything compounding into one and this has tipped my slightly.

I thought I'd be courteous and give them notice and feel as if they've thrown it in my face and made me feel that as it's unauthorised that I'm doing something wrong by my child. They have previously granted DC authorised absence for when I have been in hospital (and DH wasn't allowed with me then so DC logistically could have gone to school).

I wish now that I'd just not said anything to them and called DC in sick on the day. More fool me for trying to be organised.

OP posts:

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