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Original poster

Being told that taking child out of school whilst I'm in hospital will be unauthorised absence

113 replies

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:07

Has anyone been told before by their DC infant school that any absence for a medical need that is not that of the child's would be unauthorised absence?

I have requested authorised absence for DC whilst I go in for my elective caesarean and they have told me that this wouldn't be granted and would be unauthorised. We have no family or anyone close by to be able to drop and collect DC and they will be going to my parents over an hour away whilst I'm in hospital (and obviously DH will be with me). I don't know what else they expect me to do!

I am aware that they have this year granted authorised absences for children to be taken away on holiday - but they are refusing to grant one day for a medical reason!

I have emailed them to request again and plead but if they still say no - how can I take this further? The school board?

They're causing me a lot of stress which I don't need right now.

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BabyIcecream · 19/09/2023 11:22

Don't stress about it at all.

Unauthorised affects schools figures but doesn't actually matter to you or your child.

You've done the decent thing and told them. I literally wouldn't give it another thought.

I'm a school governor btw

sorrynotathome · 19/09/2023 11:23

You don't have to lie. Just give the reason for absence - it's really not that hard.

nokidshere · 19/09/2023 11:25

You need to put it into perspective. It really makes no difference to anyone if your child is marked unauthorised. It's just a paper exercise that's schools have to do.

Put it out of your mind and just do what you need to do.

TropicalTrama · 19/09/2023 11:25

It really doesn’t matter that it goes down as unauthorised. They just have to record it that way, it’s not a week long holiday so you won’t get fined. And by being organised you don’t have to worry about calling the school the morning of. Box ticked, forget about it and move on.

Nursemumma92 · 19/09/2023 11:25

Don't stress OP, nothing will happen for one day's unauthorised absence. It is better that you've told the school rather than phone him in sick, as when he went back to school the next day telling his friends he has a new sibling, the teachers will know it's a lie.
I think they authorised the absence before as presumably it wasn't something that could have been foreseen- the argument here that the school will use is that there is time to plan to get him to and from school.
Anyway, all the best with the birth of your new baby 😊

WandaWonder · 19/09/2023 11:28

Your husband can do drop off and pick up, they don't need to be off school

GrannyHelen1 · 19/09/2023 11:30

Don't stress about it. Just do whatever you need to do for you family, and forget whatever the school says or does. You know why your child isn't in school, and your reasons are good. Good luck with your confinement.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 19/09/2023 11:33

Op I used to work in a primary school. It will be unauthorised. It doesn't matter. Schools are obliged to let you know. Some are more patronising than others

Put in a letter/email saying I am notifying you that little Johnnie will not be in school on x date. I will be in hospital and not reachable by phone.
Yours
@hdbs17

ShoesoftheWorld · 19/09/2023 11:36

WandaWonder · 19/09/2023 11:28

Your husband can do drop off and pick up, they don't need to be off school

This. Dh went backwards and forwards taking my older two and picking them up/dropping them to a friend's while I had a planned induction. He made it back to me in time for the birth but if he hadn't, that would have been the way it was.

As many PPs have said, one day's unauthorised absence is really not the end of the world, but it's unauthorised because you do have time to put plans in place to avoid the absence. A D&C is different - an emergency in the sense of an emerging situation.

SleepWhenAmDead · 19/09/2023 11:39

If he's under five, he's not legally required to be in school anyway...

actualpuffins · 19/09/2023 11:48

This is why people just lie to schools and say their kids have a bug.

It's not worth the hassle.

Stupid system, headteachers should be able to authorise absence at their discretion for circumstances like this.

StorminanDcup · 19/09/2023 11:52

It really doesn’t matter if it’s unauthorised.

Unless you’ve had an unreasonable amount of unauthorised absence or sickness it really won’t have any impact and will just be noted down in your child’s record of the year.

The school policy will be clear, it isn’t really done on an individual basis, it’s more black and white than that.

Wouldn’t worry about it, definitely not something to be stressed over

Goldbar · 19/09/2023 11:52

I would get your DH to phone them and say your child is "under the weather" and won't be coming in today. Maybe they're looking a bit peaky due to the excitement of having a new sibling or something like the. I'd make it as unconvincing as possible personally. The school will know you're lying but there's nothing they can really do. What a stupid system... might as well play it.

CharlotteBog · 19/09/2023 11:56

This doesn't solve your immediate issue, but it will be worth developing a local network of support so that you do have backup for your school-aged child should you need it.
You can also be backup for others. It's so much easier if you're not relying on family who need to travel.

Goldbar · 19/09/2023 11:57

ShoesoftheWorld · 19/09/2023 11:36

This. Dh went backwards and forwards taking my older two and picking them up/dropping them to a friend's while I had a planned induction. He made it back to me in time for the birth but if he hadn't, that would have been the way it was.

As many PPs have said, one day's unauthorised absence is really not the end of the world, but it's unauthorised because you do have time to put plans in place to avoid the absence. A D&C is different - an emergency in the sense of an emerging situation.

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Right, so people think a father should risk missing his child's birth so the older child doesn't miss literacy and art for a day 🙄?

"No Sophie, Daddy wasn't there when you were born, but it's OK because Emma got to learn about the letter "P", practice for the harvest festival and paint a tube that day".

thisone6 · 19/09/2023 11:58

Don't worry, you don't need it to be authorised - unless you've already had a lot of unauthorised absences.

The positive is your child can now go in excited about new sibling without having to pretend they were ill.

ShoesoftheWorld · 19/09/2023 12:01

My dh wasn't there for my middle child's birth. He was looking after our then 2yo. It hasn't affected their bond in the slightest. :) And I don't think any of my children have ever asked who was there at their birth, tbh.

But anyway, I'm not suggesting OP 'should' do anything. I'm saying I can understand why it's unauthorised, in the school's logic, and I don't think it's anything to get het up and upset with the school about. But equally, there is no practical impact of one day being unauthorised, and I don't see why it's so very important to the OP that it be authorised, if all else is well with her child's attendance, which I'm sure it is.

Voraxaraptor · 19/09/2023 12:05

Why do you care?

it will just knock down your attendance percentage.

no one is going to be fined. The school won’t think bad of you, this just can’t be authorised

This really is a load of stress over nothing. Just forget about it

CantSpellItAnyBetter · 19/09/2023 12:07

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:11

They're unable to drive so wouldn't be able to collect from school anyway as we aren't within walking distance of the school.

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Can’t they get a cab?

TripleDaisySummer · 19/09/2023 12:08

Unauthorised affects schools figures but doesn't actually matter to you or your child.

This - if anyone actually follows up - very unlikely - you just explain the situation - you in hospital DH there as support only childcare non driving DGP who couldn't do drop off and pick up.

If you are really worried Dh could possibly do pick up and drop off but for one day in primary hardly seems worth the bother - it is a code in the register and possibly a number on end of year report that's it really.

Johnnylewis · 19/09/2023 12:16

I suspect you could find a workaround if you really wanted to - if you weren't having an elected section, what would happen when you were in labour? So I can understand it being unauthorised.

That said, I don't know why it matters whether they authorise it or not. Just inform the school that he won't be there.

whatwasthatgrandma · 19/09/2023 12:18

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:22

I suppose it's the stress of everything compounding into one and this has tipped my slightly.

I thought I'd be courteous and give them notice and feel as if they've thrown it in my face and made me feel that as it's unauthorised that I'm doing something wrong by my child. They have previously granted DC authorised absence for when I have been in hospital (and DH wasn't allowed with me then so DC logistically could have gone to school).

I wish now that I'd just not said anything to them and called DC in sick on the day. More fool me for trying to be organised.

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You seriously need to chill. You;re blowing this out of proportion to a crazy level.

coolkatt · 19/09/2023 12:19

take ur child out of school for as long as you need and forget about the whole thing. what do u think will happen?
honestly this is not worth the stress.
the school is not the be all and end all of your kids life.
take them out of school put them to granny's to be spoilt rotten and enjoy ur new baby.
school can suck it up and mark her off. big deal.

Caterina99 · 19/09/2023 12:21

Firstly I don’t think being authorised or not really matters. That’s the school’s problem, not yours, unless your DC is off loads. So if going to grandparents is your best option then I’d just inform school and that’s that.

But personally I’d rather my DC went to school if possible. There’s so much change having a new baby, and it’s not just one day. Most likely you will stay at least one night in hospital. Plus my parents find it a lot easier to look after my kids if they are at school between 9-3. I’d probably ask my parents to stay at my house for a couple of days, and either DH do the school run if possible, or they use a taxi or public transport.

However you know what’s best for your family circumstances. Missing one day of school is not a big deal.

TheHorneSection · 19/09/2023 12:23

Don’t stress. They can’t authorise it but that doesn’t mean they’ll fine you. We took DC out of school for two days because we were moving house and they went to the grandparents, it was unauthorised but school didn’t do anything about it.

Do what works for you and your family and don’t worry about school!