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Original poster

Being told that taking child out of school whilst I'm in hospital will be unauthorised absence

113 replies

hdbs17 · 19/09/2023 11:07

Has anyone been told before by their DC infant school that any absence for a medical need that is not that of the child's would be unauthorised absence?

I have requested authorised absence for DC whilst I go in for my elective caesarean and they have told me that this wouldn't be granted and would be unauthorised. We have no family or anyone close by to be able to drop and collect DC and they will be going to my parents over an hour away whilst I'm in hospital (and obviously DH will be with me). I don't know what else they expect me to do!

I am aware that they have this year granted authorised absences for children to be taken away on holiday - but they are refusing to grant one day for a medical reason!

I have emailed them to request again and plead but if they still say no - how can I take this further? The school board?

They're causing me a lot of stress which I don't need right now.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

curaçao · 21/09/2023 00:21

You are choosing for your dc to miss school.It is not a necessity

wingingit1987 · 21/09/2023 00:34

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for them to still attend school- I would have the grandparents come to yours instead so they aren’t missing it. However, it’s not the end of the world if they miss one day authorised or otherwise.

I had an induction date for my last baby. Made all the arrangements and had uniforms ironed, packed lunches made up, school bags organised etc for my auntie to come to mine and drop them off for me on the morning of my induction. I ended up going into labour in the middle of the night and left in so much of a rush that we didn’t get a chance to leave car seats or anything (was an extremely quick labour with only 10 minutes spent in the labour suite). So, I really wouldn’t stress it as plans can change.

WhatNoRaisins · 21/09/2023 06:07

It sounds like the grandparents could make more of an effort to come to yours and get your child to school to be honest. I do get that you can't control what other people do though.

Schools are under a lot of pressure over attendance figures but that's not your personal burden to bear. I'd just accept that it's unauthorized, it's not like they'll have to declare it on their UCAS application.

VisionsOfSplendour · 21/09/2023 06:17

RollingStream · 19/09/2023 12:26

Apply again. If they deny it then on the day get the grandparents to phone school and say he's had diarrhea so will return 48 hours after the last episode.
They'll likely know its a lie but also covers you from getting a fine.

You don't apply for absence, you literally inform the school and carry on with your day

No gets fined for missing a day in primary school

Strictly1 · 21/09/2023 06:25

Noorandapples · 19/09/2023 11:15

I would have your husband have a meeting with the head to fully explain that it's unavoidable and will be happening. Unfortunately schools seem to take men more seriously, which is stupid but there it is. If they can't be reasonable that's on them but it's not a jolly holiday. Don't let yourself take the work of it, let him navigate them for the both of you.

We don’t take men more seriously - what rubbish! As a HT we have very little flexibility. The rules on absence are forever tightening. It’s on the news today how parental views of attendance have changed and it’s HTs getting it in the neck for it. We are regularly having meetings where we are having to go through figures etc.
You take your child out and you get a different code. That’s the impact for you. It’s the school that takes the hit.
Good luck with the baby.

anareen · 21/09/2023 06:30

Sounds like it's just going to count as an absence. Will something detrimental happen if those absences are accumulated? The fact that you are really stressing about this can only cause me to assume your child doesn't have a crazy amount already. I think it will be okay mama.

Happygerbil · 21/09/2023 06:37

As others have said, it will go down as unauthorised but that doesn’t affect anything apart from the schools figures.

For those saying her DH could nip back and forth - not sure that is a great solution. Theatre lists don't always run to time- she might be bumped for an emergency case. She'll need him in the immediate post op period to help with the baby. She won't be able to get out of bed or even move her legs for a few hours and believe me trying to lift a baby post CS hurts like hell.
Also have to remember a CS is a major surgical procedure - there is a small risk of complications- I know I would have wanted my DP to be there.

User19537876 · 21/09/2023 06:43

It's just one day, you are stressing as though it is a week, just do as planned, there will be enough stress with other stuff without fannying around trying to get the DC to school

TooManyTabs · 21/09/2023 06:44

Noorandapples · 19/09/2023 11:15

Completely unnecessary! Firstly, an absence being unauthorised doesn't mean it can't happen, it will just be logged as an unauthorised absence. This would only become a big attendance issue if a child had multiple unauthorised absences.

Secondly, schools do not take men more seriously and t the idea that "the man of the house" had come in to set things straight would be laughable. What outdated nonsense. I've worked in a number of schools and have never come across this attitude.

OP, please do not waste anyone's time by arranging a meeting that does not need to happen. Go ahead with your plan.

Meadowfly · 21/09/2023 06:49

Don’t lie. If dc must miss school tell the truth and accept the absence as unauthorised.

BUT if it was me I’d want to keep dc in their normal routine- parents come to stay, taxi to school, oh, by the way here’s the new baby when dc gets back. Missing school going away and coming back to find a new baby might be rather unsettling!

Mble · 21/09/2023 06:51

Most sick parents drag themselves out of bed to take their children to school but not all would. Also, quite a lot of children are carers for a parent. This rule protects the child’s right to an education.

LadyHag · 21/09/2023 06:57

BorgQueen · 19/09/2023 11:11

Tell them to swivel 🙄
Tell them your child WILL be with the Grandparents, end of conversation.

Or don't tell them that as you will look like a bell end. Telling a person to swivel for doing their job which is monitored by the LA and OFSTED. Yep, welcome to dealing with parents...

CoffeeBean5 · 21/09/2023 07:01

Can't your parents do drop off and pick up? If they don't drive then they could walk to school or get a taxi.

Boating123 · 21/09/2023 07:04

Just accept the unauthorised absence.

Just because the school isn't giving you their blessing, doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

unlikelychump · 21/09/2023 07:08

So this is the second time your children are missing school due to your medica situations. Will they also miss every time the baby has the sniffles? What is their attendance record?

I think the GPS should be staying with you and either the father or a school run friend take them to school. What if you are in longer and the kids are shipped off somewhere? My kids would hate to be elsewhere whilst a sibling was being born.

So overall I think the unauthorized is no big deal, but I don't think you are making a good decision here.

Mumof1andacat · 21/09/2023 07:16

Just take them out. Doesn't matter.

Mulhollandmagoo · 21/09/2023 07:18

Unauthorised absence in primary school is nothing, just tell the school he won't be in and leave it at that, you don't need them to authorise is, and both you and the school know what's happening.

Don't lose sleep over it, really not worth your stress, especially not right now.

Mulhollandmagoo · 21/09/2023 07:19

unlikelychump · 21/09/2023 07:08

So this is the second time your children are missing school due to your medica situations. Will they also miss every time the baby has the sniffles? What is their attendance record?

So overall I think the unauthorized is no big deal, but I don't think you are making a good decision here.

No need....

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 21/09/2023 07:25

Good luck with your C section.
Seriously, don't worry about the unauthorised absence. You aren't taking them out for a beach holiday, you need a very important operation - its not like you can hold in the baby until half term. Since teachers strikes I have never requested authorised absence, I have just unformed school when my dc won't be able to attend, which is very rare. The authorised absence thing is just their administration issue, and as my dc have good attendance is really not my problem.

Warrior96 · 21/09/2023 07:27

Your husband needs to stay at home with the kids and you go to the hospital by yourself.

GoryBory · 21/09/2023 07:40

I’m a teacher and you’ve absolutely done the right thing.

You keep him off whether it’s authorised or not.
If it’s unauthorised it makes absolutely no difference to you, it just looks bad on them (which is why I’m surprised they’re saying it’s unauthorised).

I do think attendance is important but I never worry about keeping my DD off school because it’s not a case of her just not being bothered.
Illness or things like your reasons should not be unauthorised IMO.

You did the right thing by saying why you were keeping him off though.

If you had phoned up and said he was ill and then he does get ill and needs extra time off, they may ask what’s wrong or make you feel guilty etc.
Whereas they can’t say anything because you’ve been honest and told the truth.

TolkiensFallow · 21/09/2023 08:08

Hi op, please don’t stress about this. There is a middle ground between pretending they are sick (which I really wouldn’t) and requesting authorised leave. You simply inform them that your child won’t be in school and the reason. Then they know the child is safe.

If I’m doing something I know is technically not allowed/unlikely to be authorised, I inform the school of my intentions but I don’t ask permission as it seems disingenuous to ask permission if I am going to disregard the response and do it anyway.

I imagine you’ve really thought it through but could your parents stay with you and the children either get a taxi or a lift with a friend? I’ve got a planned c section coming up and we’ve decided DH needs to be with me all day not doing the school run as theatre could easily over run. But this is just for the one day of surgery and then he’ll be doing school run and visiting in between. If your children are only having a day off, it’s really not worth worrying that it’s technically “unauthorised”.

jessycake · 21/09/2023 08:15

Just keep to your plans and enjoy your new baby & try not to let it stress you out too much . You have tried to be honest and most people would have used the good old D&V on the day .

Ididivfama · 21/09/2023 08:17

Wow these posts are… wow. I can see why you’re stressed, you’re trying desperately to do the right thing.
Why not just ask them why? and whatever the answer, do what you need to do anyway. :)

IhearyouClemFandango · 21/09/2023 08:25

It doesn't matter. There isn't really a code they can use for it, hence it being unauthorised. It isn't a judgement on your reasoning

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