AIBU to ask class parents to withhold phones?

[SarahBcn]

The recent news about UN advising against phones in schools and countries banning them in schools has made me want to take action! My dds primary doesn't allow phones in school, but I know that children do have them as I see them on them after school. Already she has said that a few in her class have them (she's in year 3).
I read about a town in Ireland where majority of parents agreed not to give their kids a phone until year 7 and it's worked. I want to suggest this on the parent's whatsapp group - how do you think they'll respond?

In the old days we kept a coin in our shoe to be able to use a pay phone.

In the old days, you weren't far from a payphone. The only "payphones" now are empty metal boxes with the phones gone, and used by druggies to shoot up.

Exactly, which is why when people say in the old days we send kids out without cell phones, it doesn’t mean anything because we had access to pay phones then. Cell phones are basic necessities now.

I gave my Ds a phone Christmas of year 6 .. my reason so I could check it before he had access at high school .. I would do the same if I had another dc . I would ignore anything another parent said .

So parents should go out and buy a specific phone for their child, rather than just pass in their own 2 year old smartphone when they upgrade (many people are still on 1-3 year contracts and change their phone every couple of years ime) so costing them nothing.

Teen divided - so remove those apps and lock the phone down. Most have parental controls. You can remove all those apps. You can restrict internet searches. You can set it so they can't access the App Store, or have to have a parent phone approve any downloads.

Dd couldn't download any app without approval on my phone.
Her internet searching was restricted.
This is very easy to set up.

@Qilin the cost of a basic dumb phone even if you buy new and not reconditioned is going to be substantially less than the resale value of a phone that's just come off a 2 year contract. If parents are just giving their old phones to their children, this prevents them being able to sell them on, so losing them money!

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Of course you can still buy dumb phones.

www.argos.co.uk/product/3034406

I bought one for my elderly mum recently.

They are cheap too.

If people are saying they can't afford a new dumb phone so give them an old smart phone ... then sell your old smart phone and buy a new dumb phone for £25.

£25 is nothing to pay to keep young kids safe from the dangers of social media.

For all those saying there is absolutely no need for a primary age child to have a smartphone, I can offer one reason – insulin pumps and blood glucose monitoring devices attached to a person with Type I diabetes now use bluetooth technology to check blood sugar levels and, in some instances, to administer insulin when required.

Admittedly, this applies to relatively few DCs at present, but it's only going to increase where Type I diabetes is concerned. And I imagine similar technology might be used for other chronic medical conditions too.

Yes ,but in those cases the phone is a medical device really.

Agreed, and most schools count them as an exception for exactly that reason which is surely the sensible approach.

I was merely offering an answer to PPs who stated explicitly that they could see no reason why a primary aged child would need a smartphone.

Oh wow this looks fab. Not wanting my child to have a phone until they’re 11ish, but been wishing there was something simple to keep in touch with him while he pops to the park and shop. Might try this

children here walk home from Year 4, our school don't allow Year 4 parents into school grounds unless they have a younger child or the Year 4 has an EHCP that states the child cannot leave school without a parent, and it is enforced by members of staff standing on the gate.

So 8 and 9 year olds have phones here because they need them.

DH’s friend is a counsellor specialising in children and young people. She said that about 80% of the problems she sees in teens these days can be traced back to social media/mobile phone use. She advised us to keep phones away from the DC (9 and 6) for as long as possible, when we do give them to keep them very basic and if they do have smart phones to have them heavily regulated with strict limits on what apps they are allowed and never to allow phones in bedrooms at night.

DD gets a bus to school and goes straight into the office where her phone goes in the secretary's drawer for the day to be retrieved at the end of the school day. I track where she is using an app on the phone to be sure to be at the drop off point on time.

My child my rules. If you don't want your child to have a phone, explain to them why and live with the consequences for you and your child. It's not my problem and I'm not doing something because another parent wants me not to do it.

For those mums you are friends with I think you can explain your reasoning and ask. For those who you don’t know well enough to explain then I don’t think you expect anything from them.

For me, my girls had phones when I thought they were old enough at the top end of primary. Younger one got her slightly younger than the first. Neither of them were anywhere close to being the first in their peer group to have a phone. I considered very carefully before giving either of them a phone.

I thought there was much to be said for the Ireland town's agreement. You can't force people, but if the majority do not have phones, the pressure is off. I've seen people worry about whether they will be cutting their kids off from their peers if they're the only ones who aren't allowed on social media platforms they are officially too young for - if all (or at least most) parents unite, then the problem is solved.

DD did not have a phone when she started walking to/from school alone in summer of year 5. There were always plenty of parents of younger kids around to ask for help if needed, and we'd also identified houses of people she knew on her route. If the route home is quiet enough that you're worried, a non-smart phone is adequate, and less likely to distract them from good road safety, or make them a target for theft. We kept our last non-smart phones, and passed one on to someone else after DD had finished with it.

Our secondary, until DD was in year 11, did not allow phones. If they wanted them for the journey, they could hand them in on arrival. It did mean much lower phone usage overall - it was only in lockdown (aged 14) that we gave in to social media.

Can't phones be handed in send given out or collected at day end?

How does needing one for walking home mean they have to have it on the all day?

Did you ever ask this OP?

I think I'm probably being a bit obtuse but how does a phone make a child safer on the walk home? Obviously if they're using public transport then it could be used to let you know of delays or anything but I just wonder what kind of dangers people are anticipating on the walk home.

I never had a phone at primary school or most of secondary. Never needed one on the walk home.

Actually I think phones can add to the dangers.

Round here there have been quite a few teens mugged for their phones (wealthy area and lots of teens with the latest kit 🙄).

Not to mention the kids who step into the road without looking because they are glued to screen.

@Loveskin2024 I did ask and got a great response. There is now a growing group of parents across the school who feel the same way, we are promoting the movement at the Spring Fair, have the PTA and the head on board too. If you’re thinking about doing it - go for it! There are people out there who feel the same. Loads of guidance on delaysmartphones.org

That's a great result.

@SarahBcn wow well done, that’s so positive! Such a good thing to do for your children and their classmates x